• 21 wives, nine hubbies, eight galfriends killed in process

• Stakeholders seek state of emergency on violent marital affairs

By Fatima Muraina, Sade Adewale,
Oluwadamilola Akinduro, Adeboye Ado, & Precious Owolabi

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Stakeholders, including religious leaders, marriage counsellors, and social commentators have raised the alarm over the rising cases of spousal killings, attributing the trend to lack of patience, ungodliness, poor communication, and deep-seated anger.

In separate interviews with Weekend Hope, concerned citizens stressed that Nigeria is witnessing a disturbing surge in domestic violence, with marital conflicts spiralling into murder and vicious assaults, prompting urgent calls for a state of emergency to address the crisis rocking homes.

Weekend Hope investigations revealed that menace of domestic violence continues to take a deadly toll across the country, with over 40 lives lost in the past three years to spousal and intimate partner conflicts. Among the victims are over 21 wives, nine husbands, and eight girlfriends, raising concerns over the increasing rate of domestic disputes escalating into fatal attacks.

A 2019 survey by the National Bureau of Statistics revealed that 30 per cent of Nigerian women aged 15–49 have suffered physical violence, while a staggering 68 per cent have experienced emotional, economic, or sexual abuse. Despite awareness campaigns and legal measures, cases of domestic violence persist, often with tragic consequences.

About a week ago, a businessman, Nuru Isah, allegedly flogged his 24-year old wife, Wasila Abdulahi, to death over an argument about ingredients and fruits designated for breaking the Ramadan fast.

Just last month, an Ekiti police officer and his wife reportedly killed each other in yet another tragic case of domestic violence. In Kaduna, a newlywed allegedly cut off her husband’s manhood, leading to his death.

One of such cases involved Ogochukwu Anene, a mother of five in Awka, Anambra State, who was allegedly beaten to death by her husband, Ndubisi Uwadiegwu, after a dispute over a loaf of bread. Similarly, in Nadabo village, Tafawa Balewa Local Government Area of Bauchi State, 25-year old Salamatu Danjuma was arrested over the death of her husband following a prolonged disagreement over the custody of their six-year-old daughter.

In November 2024, a domestic altercation in Ibadan led to the death of 39-year old Olusegun Tinubu, who was allegedly stabbed by his 33-year old wife, Comfort Tinubu. That same month, another woman reportedly stabbed her husband to death during a dispute over their bedroom lock.

The disturbing trend continued into the new year, with a housewife in Ogun State allegedly, stabbing her husband to death in January 2025 over suspicions of infidelity. Similarly, in 2024, 28-year old Ogunlana Yemisi was arrested for allegedly assaulting her husband, Idowu Adebowale, 31, with a sharp object.

The Chairman of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), Father Anselm Ologunwa, described the situation as a growing crisis demanding immediate intervention from the government, religious institutions, and civil society organisations in Nigeria.

He stated: “Marriage, in itself, is not a ticking time bomb. However, the rising cases of domestic violence and killings in Nigeria are alarming and indicate a deeper societal issue. The increasing pressures on modern marriages, combined with the lack of effective conflict resolution skills and support systems, have made homes more vulnerable to violence.”

Ologunwa urged the government to establish functional support systems for victims of domestic abuse, enforce stricter laws against perpetrators, and launch public awareness campaigns to challenge cultural norms that enable domestic violence.

According to him, “The time to act is now. We must all work together to create a safer and more supportive environment for marriages in Nigeria.”

Similarly, a retired civil servant, Mr Sunday Okeowo, lamented that marriages are losing their foundation of tolerance and perseverance, making them prone to destruction.

“Marriages today are not like they used to be. Back in our time, tolerance was the foundation of every home. But now, many couples no longer have the patience to work through their problems. We hear shocking stories of husbands and wives killing each other over minor disagreements. If nothing is done, the institution of marriage will continue to crumble, and society as a whole will suffer,” he warned.

Okeowo called on religious institutions to prioritise counselling and marital guidance rather than focusing solely on tithes and offerings. He also urged the National Orientation Agency to intensify awareness on peaceful coexistence in marriages.

Pastor Samuel Ajayi of the Christ Apostolic Church (CAC) Mountain of Fulfilment, Owo, argued that true Christian homes built on God’s principles would not experience toxic marriages.

Ajayi emphasised that deep-seated anger and unforgiveness are among the biggest threats to marriages today, urging couples to embrace the biblical principle of forgiveness to prevent conflicts from escalating into fatal incidents.

A marriage counsellor, Mrs Ogedengbe Taiwo, identified poor communication and lack of emotional control as major triggers of domestic violence.

“If we truly want to end toxic marriages, couples must learn to communicate with love and patience. Instead of shouting, blaming, or resorting to violence, husbands and wives should express their feelings calmly and respectfully. Many problems arise from misunderstandings, and better communication can help resolve them before they escalate,” she noted.

Similarly, Pastor Olumide Akinrinlola condemned the escalating cases of spousal violence, describing them as a reflection of unresolved personal struggles and societal decay.

“Deep-seated anger is at the root of these tragedies. Many people are angry at themselves, society, their parents, and even their in-laws. That bottled-up rage is what leads to murder,” he warned.

Akinrinlola stressed the need for psychological support for couples, particularly anger management therapy, and urged the government to criminalise violent marriages and enforce stricter domestic violence laws.

He emphasised that no marriage is perfect and that couples must learn to accept each other’s imperfections.

“Even siblings from the same parents have different personalities, let alone two individuals from different backgrounds,” Pastor Akinrinola said.

He further stressed that respect and submission are crucial in marriage, particularly for women, as dictated by biblical teachings.

Pastor Akinrinlola dismissed the notion that marriage is a “ticking time bomb”, attributing the rising cases of domestic violence to modern societal shifts rather than an inherent flaw in the institution.

He argued that domestic violence accounts for only 10 per cent of marriages, insisting that the majority remain stable and successful.

Dr. Mercy Abiola Ige, another marriage counsellor, blamed childhood trauma and economic hardship for the rising cases of domestic violence.

“Many couples come from violent backgrounds where they grew up seeing their parents fight. This environment normalises abuse, and they carry this mindset into their own marriages. The economy is also not helping matters, frustration over financial struggles often leads to conflict. But fundamentally, it boils down to lack of God’s knowledge and self-discipline,” she said.

According to her, unless couples return to the biblical foundation of marriage, the crisis will persist.

Similarly, Pastor Gbenga Olatunbosun stated that social media has amplified marital violence, making the crisis more visible than ever.

Olatunbosun called for intensified advocacy from religious organisations, NGOs, and community leaders, urging them to teach couples conflict resolution skills before they hit their ‘elastic limit.’

He, however, dismissed the notion that marriage itself is a time bomb, saying that many couples are simply unprepared for the realities of marriage.

A social commentator, Mrs Oyebola Adeola, blamed ego, pride, and the ‘woke culture’ for the rising cases of broken homes, arguing that many couples lack the discipline to sustain a long-term relationship.

Adeola called on the government to criminalise domestic violence and enforce stringent laws against offenders.

Similarly, Mr. Ebenezer Ogundare attributed the crisis to the erosion of traditional values and the growing influence of Western culture.

Reacting to the issue, the Chief Imam of the Police Central Mosque, Akure, Alhaji Akintola Eyitayo Taofeek, declared that marital crises would continue to escalate if the government failed to enforce the law.

He said the foundation of marriage had become faulty because people no longer built their unions on the fear of God, while religious and traditional aspects were being disregarded.

He urged the government to be more proactive in implementing the law, stating that since Sharia law was not being adopted, any perpetrator found guilty and sentenced should face the consequences immediately to deter others from committing similar atrocities.