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Ondo
Tuesday, October 19, 2021

After forgiveness, can a man overlook his wife’s adultery?

By Sunmola Olowookere

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We have heard stories of men committing murder or mayhem after catching their wives in a compromising situation with another man. It is as if they too do not commit the same sin. They tend to get violently jealous on knowing their wives’ lovers. Such crimes on the part of their wives often break their marriages irretrievably.
There are some others that find it possible to forgive their erring wives. They would take her back after much pleadings. The question is do those men who forgive their wives also able to forget her adultery? Can they let go totally and not make a reference to the issue? Will they be able to live with the wife without allowing the bitterness of the experience to cloud the joy of their marriage?
Such is the case of a young couple in our neighbourhood. Although he had forgiven his wife, but it seems he had not forgotten her betrayal. At the slightest provocation, the husband would beat the wife blue and black. And it would take the intervention of the neighbours before he would stop. At this point, he would call her demeaning and unprintable names.
Residents suspect that it was possible that the young man was still having difficulty forgetting what his wife did five years ago. Despite their constant fighting, they are still together. Residents wished they would just separate so that they can live in peace but they seemed to be saying what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
It was not the first time such would happen. At times, marriages that people would have thought was on
the verge of collapse would suddenly bounce back and the couples would put all the judges to shame by resolving their differences and coming back together without allowing their families to know.
At these times, those that had showed strong opinions during the couple’s differences are now taken as enemies of their love by the time the quarrel is settled and the couple resume marital relations again.
Eniola and Adeola met themselves on the streets. Eniola saw this cute girl and went after her like a randy goat and she too answered him like a she goat in heat. It was an instant combustion.
After two kids, the wife began to have extramarital affairs which was a sore point with her husband. Not knowing how to handle the issue, he began to hit her whenever he was provoked and he could not control his anger.
Although she thought she was smart and could hide her affairs but the husband proved to be smarter and would discover her secrets.
Despite the fact that he usually hit her over her waywardness, she did not desist. It became a serious issue when she became even bolder and left home for five days and she could not account for her movement while she was gone.
She had dropped the kids with her mother and took off.
It was a terrible scene when she came back. Her husband even insulted his mother in law with claims that she knew about her daughter’s shady dealings.
The husband accused the wife of travelling to be with a lover while she claimed that she went to see her aunt though she refused to allow her husband speak with the supposed aunt.
The husband was livid as he beat her up and threw her out of their matrimonial home upon her return. It was a difficult period for the couple and the children especially who were worst affected by the rift.
Things took a funny twist in the rift between them.
When both families were still at loggerheads, exchanging abuses and curses, the duo had begun meeting secretly and the two parties were shocked to see the duo living together again despite the ongoing feud between the two families.
The husband’s family were more shocked. Due to this, the family is staying aloof from the couple for now. There was nothing they could do as the husband seemed to be telling them “do not help me to chase away my wife “.
Their neighbours and family members are tired of their issue and some even advise that they separate if they could not live peaceably.

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