By Mary Agidi

The ideology of the Baby Mama phenomenon, which involves giving birth outside wedlock to someone a woman is not traditionally or legally married to, is becoming rampant in our current society, especially among young ladies. Becoming a Baby Mama can happen in different ways. A lady may be impregnated by a single man who is not ready for marriage, but due to the social and financial status of such a man, the lady might prefer to be his Baby Mama to feel entitled to his fame, wealth, and riches, rather than terminating the pregnancy.

On the other hand, a woman can become a Baby Mama due to late marriage, prioritizing having a child to call her own over marriage. For instance, 42-year-old Ms. Tosin Adewumi (not her real name) recently gave birth to a child fathered by one of her senior bosses at her workplace. Staying in a two-bedroom apartment, she nurtured her pregnancy without the father’s involvement until she delivered the baby. Meanwhile, family, friends, and neighbours rallied round her, providing emotional and material support, rejoicing with her for having a child she could call her own, without questioning the father’s identity.

Her situation, which in the past would have been labeled “single motherhood,” has now transformed into “Baby Mama” due to the increasing prevalence of women giving birth outside wedlock. This trend is especially common in the entertainment and political spheres.

In a research report published by the Sociology Department of DigitalCommons@University of Nebraska-Lincoln, titled “The Ideology of the Baby Mama Phenomenon,” it was revealed that the prevalence of the Baby Mama trend “is driven by social media, making it more pronounced among the youths.”

The term “Baby Mama” originated from Jamaican Creole, used by fathers with illegitimate children to describe the mothers of their children without any marital ties. According to the report, “this practice of women giving birth outside marriage has existed for a long time but gained prominence when celebrities and entertainers started having babies outside wedlock. They prefer to be called Baby Mama or Baby Daddy rather than being regarded as single parents.”

A Baby Mama is also referred to as a solo parent or single parent (Nancy, 1997). The Baby Mama phenomenon is akin to past cases where premarital pregnancy caused shame to families. However, the reverse is the case nowadays, as it is now celebrated.

The trend is also prevalent among Internet fraudsters, popularly called “Yahoo Boys.” Many young women are becoming mothers for these men, some of whom are pressured to have heirs due to the uncertainty of their futures.

Worldwide, the Baby Mama phenomenon is on the rise. In the United States, reports indicate that 8% of all households are headed by a single parent, with 84% of them being mothers. This represents 101.3 million single mothers in the U.S.

Challenges Faced by Baby Mamas

The Baby Mama status comes with its challenges. Recently, some Nigerian women took to social media to express their displeasure with the discrimination single mothers face from landlords. They lamented the conditions some landlords impose before renting out apartments, such as refusing to rent to single mothers.

Discrimination against single mothers is particularly high in Lagos State, as reported in the media.

“I have heard about the difficulties of renting a house as a single mother, but I was always dismissive of it until I started looking for a home after the birth of my son.

“I went to several houses, but I was rejected because I’m a single mother. Some of the reasons they gave were just insane, and I couldn’t understand them as they were flimsy excuses. After many failed attempts, I got fed up and decided to stay with my family and friends. It isn’t convenient, but what more can I do?” said Ms. Ogunsetan, whose predicament was reported by Premium Times in May 2024.

Sharing her experience, Ms. Oluwaseun Falade narrated how she deceived her landlady to secure a two-bedroom apartment in Akure. “I arranged with a male colleague to transfer the rent from his account, claiming he was my husband, as I was aware of such discrimination. This is my second year in the apartment, and there has been no cause for intervention by the landlady.”

The rising number of young Nigerian women becoming Baby Mamas can be attributed to the country’s economic hardship, which pushes adolescent girls into illicit relationships, compounded by the get-rich-quick mentality.

Perspectives on Baby Mama Culture

Asked if she could survive raising a child outside wedlock, a 25-year-old Computer Science graduate, Miss Fadekemi (not her real name), said, “If it happens and the guy refuses to take responsibility or is not ready for marriage, and I am financially independent, I will take care of my child. This is because, even now, legally conducted marriages are becoming like hell, as most men do not want to remain faithful in marriage. Nevertheless, I do not pray to be a single mother because it was not easy for my mother to singlehandedly train the two of us after the untimely death of our father.”

For 32-year-old Miss Damilola Akinmoyo, becoming a Baby Mama for a famous and wealthy man is not a bad idea. She cited celebrities like Davido, Wizkid, and Don Jazzy as examples of men with Baby Mamas. “Nobody prefers poverty over luxury. If I’m impregnated by a rich man, I won’t abort the baby, knowing he’s responsible. I will even trend online if he fails to take responsibility.”

The Impact on Children

The advantages of raising children with both parents cannot be overstated. It requires grace and self-discipline for children raised by single parents to avoid delinquent behaviour, especially those of socialite Baby Mamas. Children in such situations often face challenges, particularly if their mother’s income is insufficient.

A report titled “Are Children Raised with Absent Fathers Worse Off?” reveals that children raised by Baby Mamas are at greater risk of abuse and neglect (especially from live-in boyfriends who are not their biological fathers). They are also more likely to become teen parents and less likely to graduate from high school. However, the report concludes that not all children in single-parent families suffer adverse outcomes; it simply notes that the risks are higher.

Psychological trauma is another issue for children raised by single mothers, especially uneducated ones. Some boys might develop sympathy for women due to their experiences, while some girls might harbour resentment toward men based on their mothers’ remarks about absentee fathers. Such negative emotions can negatively impact children’s psychological development.