‘Campus Couple’, time bomb against future

By Oluwasegun Adelegan
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some students in higher institutions today live as couples on campus. This is known as couple’s life. Living as a couple is fun for them. They never see it as a crime.

For example, two young people cannot be living as a couple and concentrate on their studies. People of the same sex living together as friends may have problem in their studies if care is not taken, not to talk of those cohabiting as couples. Some female students that involve in the practice have lost their pride. Women are meant to be reserved: they  should not lose  their  dignity. Students living as couples often end up regretting their action because it is rare to live as couples and get married to each other.

Students in relationships sometimes live together in school as couples. While this has paid off for some, many  have burnt their hands.

Tade and Gbenro were both students in a polytechnic in Lagos. Gbenro was already in HND II when Tade got admission into the institution. She met Gbenro during her clearance and admission process in one of the cybercafés on the campus and they immediately struck a friendship. When she finished and got up to leave Gbenro asked where she lived and she told him she didn’t have a place yet. There and then he offered to help her. He told her she could come and stay with him, since he would soon be graduating and offered to cede the room to her when he was done.

In no time, they began living together and soon became lovers. Going down memory lane, Tade said “It happened so fast. We lived together until he wrote his final exams and I was promoted to ND II. After his project presentation, he continued to stay in the house because of me until he was called to serve in Zaria where he lived for one year. After his service year, he came back to Lagos and secured a job with the Lagos State Ministry of Agriculture, Alausa, Ikeja. Then I was already in HND 1.

“He didn’t bother to look me up or call, so I decided to pay him a visit at home. But Gbenro had changed. He used to be very loving and caring in school. He wouldn’t let me cry or feel bad, he would make sure I read my books and do well in exams. But this time, Gbenro looked at me scornfully. I went into his room to try and talk to him, but he shrugged me off and told me he was tired and needed to rest. I went to the living room to be with his mother. After a while he came and told me he wanted to have a talk with me. He told me that he met a girl on camp, while in Zaria, with whom he lived throughout the service year and the girl was pregnant for him and plans were underway for their wedding.

“To say the least, I was devastated. He was my first love and I thought we would end up as husband and wife. I went back to school but could not concentrate because the room brought back memories of him. So I moved out. This affected me in my exams and I ended up with a bad result that year. But I thank God I got over it. I was still young, so I took a decision to move on.

“I am now 24 and graduated, but I will not advise anybody to live a couple’s life on campus. It is cheapening and risky.” she said.

Roseline and Tunde are another interesting pair. They were in love. They met in their first year in school. Roseline was the most beautiful girl in his class, and he worked his way into her heart. In no time, they began to live together and were practically ‘married’ until their final year. The relationship became so sizzling that she even did a change of name. Soon, her friends began calling her Mrs Feyijimi (Tunde’s surname)

After their final exams, her expectations heightened and she told Tunde to come and see her parents; but what she got shocked her. Tunde told her she had become too fat due  to the contraceptive pills she had been taking to prevent another pregnancy and abortion.

“I love slim ladies and I don’t know if you will be able to have children after all the abortions you have done,” he told her. “That was how the relationship ended,” Roseline recalled.

Speaking on the issue, a  marriage counsellor, Mrs Pauline Alimi  said when young people start living couples’ life as students, it is usually for fun. They share things, go out together and people know them in the campus as husband and wife. They even visit each other’s home during holidays.

She said, “The woman especially is happy but the man may still be having other girlfriends without her knowledge. But towards the end of their academic year when they are about graduating, reality usually dawns on them.

“It is when they travel to different parts of the country to observe the mandatory National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, that they know if their love would stand the test of time. Both of them would meet other people on camp and it is usually easy for the man to forget his campus spouse. But not so for the lady. Usually the affair comes to an end during the NYSC year. Although, I know of one couple who are still married, only about 5 percent usually survive.”

Explaining why romance may wither too early if they eventually get married, she said “You cannot eat your cake and have it. The time for romance should be observed in marriage but if you have allowed yourself to enjoy the romantic stage on campus, there is no way you can get it back. But if she knows him inside out and holds him very well, the marriage will work.

From the point of view of a mother, Alimi counselled seriously against it. “Living together is for adults who are married, who know what it means to be married. They should rather face their studies. So, it’s a ‘No, No’ for me.

Also contributing to the issue, the Pastor and founder of Thy God Thy Glory Church, Olajide Olabode said God does not support it. “You don’t live with a woman or man without being married. That is sexual immorality and the Holy Bible says we should flee from it. It is a sin and the Bible says we should not commit fornication. The Bible also says you should not defile your bed.”

Going back to his days in school, he said he had a classmate who is now a police AIG and now married to one of their juniors in school. “They didn’t live together because it was not allowed on the University of Ibadan campus, but she was always in our room. She cooked and was like a mother to us. She got pregnant at 300 level while we were in our final year and his father married them. Today they are still together but the younger brother who tried the same thing regretted it.”

“Many people did it while we were in school and today, some are heartbroken, some are still single and many are regretting it.”

A Muslim cleric, Abdulameed Odunaye said it is a sin in the sight of God. “People are not allowed to live together until they have done the nikkah (tied the wedding knot). If on campus you meet a girl and you do the nikkah, you can live together. The parents of the girl must have given their consent and exchange of dowry must have taken place in the presence of witnesses. Islam does not also support long courtship.

“It is not even permissible for a man and woman to stay together without a third party, especially if he is not your relative.”

Poor result is one of the major dangers of students cohabitation. It is easy to loss focus on their studies, splashing carry overs everywhere and graduating with very poor grade when they finally manage to. Because while others are busy attending classes, doing assignments, writing tests and reading, they would be busy frolicking and playing couple roles at home.

Again, the male students in his effort to be the ideal man and impress his ‘wife’ often takes it upon himself to provide for their upkeep, rent payment, feeding and shopping just like an average husband would. Putting himself into unnecessary financial strain. Stay away from Cohabitation.

Rarely does campus couple end up as married couple. Because they had enjoyed all the privileges and rights associated with marriage and lost interest in each other before or immediately after graduation, plunging themselves into a devastating heart break, depression, loss of esteem and suicide.

 The increased rate of abortion in Nigeria campuses can rightly be attributed to student’s cohabitation. This is because neither of the parties is prepared for any parental responsibilities. The risk of contracting a sexual transmitted diseases is equally high. Trust me, cohabitation isn’t just good!

Cohabiting is mostly practiced by premature and ineligible persons and in some cases, are unprepared for a long-lasting union. Mutual Deceit! Without doubt, cohabiting is certainly a lead-way to sexual interaction of pre-marital sex which can lead to early or unwanted pregnancy. Certainly, unwanted pregnancy is the staircase to the abortion arena. Abortion is the sliding route to death or organ damages which may result in barrenness. This is the relay race where the male partner would vanish into thin air. According to Miss. Tricia Igbe, a student of the Delta State Polytechnic, Ozoro (DSPZ).

 Living together as couples on campus is not really making any sense at all,  I can say it is very bad  because there are many disadvantages attached to it for example, unprotected sex may lead to unwanted pregnancy or some sexual transmitted diseases that can be acquired through it and even their closeness can lead to assault as a result of disrespect between them, most time the girl may  not be  free in doing some things for herself in school and also distracting her from her academic aspect.

To me I don’t think it is a normal way of life it shouldn’t be encouraged at all.

Agbana faith Oluwatosin, also  a student of Rufus Giwa Polytechnic Owo says what she understood about campus cohabitation isn’t a good thing at all it is a thing that shouldn’t be encouraged on campus because it is purely a distractive act which can hinder the progress and success of a student in any institution.

 She added that most times it leads to bringing out poor result from school which can affect such student’s future and the most disadvantage  is that they may not end up together as husband and wife in the nearest future,

It is  better in the side of the boy because it doesn’t really affect the man most times. So we girls should be very careful and stay away from such  act. It has no gain at all.

Well there you have it. You can decide for yourself if the practice is really worth the numerous pitfalls before deciding to take part in it. Left to us, nothing beats a focused, undivided attention when it comes to your studies and we hope you will make the right decision.

Adelegan is a student of Rufus Giwa Polytechnic  on internship with The Hope newspaper.