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Can family planning promote promiscuity?

By Kemi Olatunde

Recently, two women were engaged in a discussion about their husbands and when they got to the aspect of family planning, one said she was not into any family planning method. The other woman was forced to ask the reason for her refusal to embrace it despite its numerous benefits and she answered; “my husband prevented me from getting involved in it because he feels that I may be promiscuous if he allows me and he doesn’t feel secured. We don’t live in the same town and I am sure that is what he does over there.”
With the above scenario, one begins to wonder why some couples find it difficult to trust themselves as trust is very fundamental in marriage.
When couples are in relationships, they tend to express love as if their lives depend on each other but as soon as they become one through marriage, very few still continue in that manner of love.
Family planning shouldn’t be an issue in this dispensation as it enables couples attain their desired number of children with adequate spacing.
According to the World Health Organisation(WHO), it serves three critical needs; helps couples avoid unwanted pregnancies, reduces the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), and reduces the rate of infertility.
It is unpleasant to still hear some people going against women embracing family planning, as over 60 percent of women are involved in it. Although it is not for women alone, some family planning methods are also for men just that few men are unaware or trying to shy away from it.
The Hope got the views of some people on the topic. According to a commercial driver, Mr Wale Idowu, family planning is a very good initiative which should be embraced by all, as it helps one plan for the size of family he wants.
He explained that, ” my wife and I have a method we adopt and this has been very helpful after we had our last child 12 years ago.”
Speaking on the issue of trust attached to its usage, Idowu hinted that ever since he got married to his wife, there had never been any mistrust misunderstanding in their marriage of over 20 years.
According to him, “a lot of things are causing lack of trust between couples these days. Civilisation is a major cause. Women competing with the men at home is a serious issue. Also bad influence especially from friends.
” The only way out is to build one’s home on God. When God is in the home, even when one party is about to go astray, God will prevent it.”
On the part of a pastor who does not want his name in print, family planning is a way to manage the number of children a marriage will produce.
According to him; “As a pastor, I encourage family planning, it helps marriage a lot.
The truth is that it takes trust for a man to allow his wife to do family planning. Anyway, the fact that you don’t trust your wife should not be the reason why you should not allow her to do family planning because if she wants to see another man she knows what to do that she won’t be pregnant. May be family planning is in place or not, a woman will be what she wants to be.
” I strongly recommend family planning for couples.”
A Federal civil servant, Mr Adamolekun shared similar view with the above pastor noting that it is a good way of checking over population especially in families.
He revealed that his wife who according to him is nursing their one year old first child is already on a method.
His words; “In this generation, one needs proper planning before the arrival of kids. To plan ones life and that of the kids, it must be well planned out. One can’t also be pushing out kids like dogs, so man got to plan how many he wants and the timing for them to come.”
Women were not left out too as they shared their own views. A teacher who simply identified herself as Mrs Adeola noted that either of the couple can be wayward irrespective of family planning in place or not.
She explained that to her family planning has been put in place majorly to prevent unwanted pregnancies which may pose a risk to the health of women of older age.
While speaking further, she commended her husband for having a high level of trust in her despite her misbehavior atimes and added that she has her husband to always count on irrespective of her shortcomings.
She said; “My husband is the best Man in the world. I trust him so much. Whether men do family planning or not, most of them will still misbehave but I can still say that if I catch my husband on another woman, it won’t doubt my trust for him.”
Mrs Adeyemi was of the opinion that it takes God’s grace for a man not to look outside his home for side chicks.
According to her, naturally, men have more sexual urge than women, that is how they are created and engaging in family planning by them is an escape route.
Her words: “Most men cannot control themselves when they are moved especially when outside their homes. Most of the time when they are deprived of sex at hime, they end up finding comfort in the hands of their side chicks who are always ready to give more than what their wives will give to them.
” Telling them to now do family planning means that they have the license to flirt around without the side chicks getting pregnant or even having children for them.
“Although I love and trust my husband but I can’t advise him to do it. Yes he allows me to do it but that doesn’t give me the privilege to flirt around with other men because I am a responsible wife and besides my husband’s family forbids it. I just told you that I trust my husband but to be candid, I don’t trust him to that extent but I always pray that he doesn’t impregnate any lady outside.”
A 37 year old tailor who simply identified herself as mummy Emma narrated her experience to The Hope on the issue.
She said; “Anyone of us can do family planning as it is for both sexes. On the issue of trust, I once had an issue with a man very close to my shop. He was always all over me to the extent that people around started gossiping about us. When I thought that he was beginning to pass his boundary, I told my husband who in turn came to my shop to give him a warning.
” My husband could do that because he trust me. I am not on any family planning method but God has been helping us to plan properly for the family as regards population. ”
However, she advised couples to be committed to themselves, defend themselves and exemplify high level of trust for themselves.
Another woman who refused to give details of herself just said; “I love him but why will I want him to go for family planning? That is really out of it.”

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