In today’s society, eligible partnersfind it extremely difficult to discuss their past experiences regarding relationships with their partners. Weekend Hope speaks with individuals on if they can discuss their past with their fiance/fiancee
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By Precious Orunduyi, Vivian Deladem, Segun Adeyemi, Success Ayelayo, Iwala Olamide

In fact, I am of the opinion that partners in relationship must discuss their pasts before they move on.

For instance, someone who has a rough past and has changed, but did not tell his fiancee, if the fiancee finds out herself in the future, she cannot trust him again. Even then, it will be hard to believe that he has changed.

So, I can discuss my past with my fiancee. It is a very important step in a relationship.

Personally, I will say yes! You can discuss your past with your fiance or fiancee. Often it is healthy to do so, but how much to share and how you share it depends on the nature of your relationship and what both of you are comfortable with.

That is, being open about your past relationships, mistakes or challenges can deepen your emotional connection and create transparency.

It also helps in clarifying expectations about past experiences which often shape current values and boundaries. Sharing them can help your partner understand your perspective.

For me, discussing my past with my partner is about finding a balance between being honest and respectful of each other’s feelings. I believe sharing our experiences can strengthen our connection. But it is also crucial to focus on building the future together.

Open communication helps us understand each other better and grow stronger as a couple.

Letting a fiance or fiancee into one’s past should not be a big deal where there is sincerity of purpose. Knowing a partner’s past could help to understand the shades of experience that preceded the present so that one can draw lessons therefrom.

I will tell her basically because it is a good thing. I see telling her my past as a big testimony that God saved me from these things that could have turned me into something else entirely. But I changed and that is a very big thing, so there is no reason why I should not tell her.

Definitely! Discussing your past with your fiancee can create a deeper connection between the two partners and can also make both spouses grow together in their relationship. To me, making my partner know my past can actually bring about a close familiarity between us and helps us to know more about our emotional feelings, values and more.

Of course, I can. It is very important. It helps to build trust and transparency between you and your partner. A situation whereby you hide your dark secret or whatever you have done in the past and then your partner finds out from maybe a third party or something is really going to break the trust. If you had told your partner earlier, your partner would not be surprised.

It helps to support growth and healing. Your partner can help you heal from your past. Lastly, it prevents unrealistic expectations. So far both of you are transparent enough and love each other and are able to express yourselves by telling each other your past,  both of you will not have unrealistic expectations.

Yes! I can actually discuss my past with my fiancé.

There is no big deal in sharing your past with your fiance because I believe that sharing my past with him can make us learn from our past experiences. And it can also build a strong trust in our relationship and help us understand ourselves better.

I believe it is essential to be open and honest with your partner about your past. Sharing your experiences, both positive and negative, can help build trust, intimacy and understanding in a relationship. It is also important to consider what you are comfortable sharing and what might be left unsaid.

I am going to start by saying that he is a fiance, not a boyfriend. By the way, I don’t have a dirty past though there are some things that are not so good. But since this person has graduated from being my boyfriend to being my fiancé, it is very important that we discuss our past. Personally, I would discuss my past because if this person later finds out after the wedding, it can be disastrous for our union.

Even if it is a very serious secret, it is best that he knows now before we are married. So many people are always afraid of losing that relationship, which is why they keep it to themselves.

Imagine the person tries to find out later – that means you built your marriage and relationship on lies. So I will let him know now.

Telling the person gives him/her a good clue about who you are, so he won’t be surprised later on.

Especially people with exes, it is important that you let your fiance know your past.