Dangers of ‘hidden truths’ in relationships

With Josephine Oguntoyinbo
Keeping secrets in relationships refers to the act of withholding information from your partner, often to avoid conflict, protect their feelings, or maintain trust.
Secrets can be about various aspects of life, such as personal thoughts and feelings, past experiences or mistakes,infidelity or attraction to someone else,financial issues or debt,health concerns or addictions, among others.
Keeping secrets has also been described as an act of betrayal, and omitting important facts can lead to further deception and mistrust.
According to research, being open with your partner promotes trust and strengthens your bond, as relationships are believed to be damaged by lies, which can cause couples to grow apart.
Honesty is always the best policy, and most of us have a moral code that views keeping secrets as akin to lying.
For most people, dishonesty is only acceptable in extreme situations, such as trying to save someone’s life or survive a disaster. Keeping major secrets is a form of deceit. The longer the truth is hidden, the harder it becomes to reveal it.
Being deceitful breeds mistrust, and once trust is lost, it is difficult to regain especially for those who have been betrayed by a parent, friend ,former romantic partner, or spouse.
The truth is, it’s hard to feel emotionally connected to someone when you catch them in a lie or discover they’ve kept a secret from you.
Trust goes beyond simply catching your partner in a lie; it’s about believing that they truly have your best interests at heart. Mistrust is a lingering feeling that your partner doesn’t truly love you or may abandon you.
Trust is about walking the talk, your partner may say they love you, but do their actions back up their words?
At times, people may not feel safe enough in a relationship to be honest and open with their partner because they don’t believe their partner truly loves them or because they are overly protective of their own interests.
Therefore, there is a fundamental principle that underpins successful relationships, serving as an antidote to unfaithfulness.
Keeping a secret from your partner can cause anxiety, depression, and strain on the relationship. Research has shown that keeping secrets is associated with worse health outcomes and a diminished sense of well-being.
While you have the right to privacy in any relationship, all secrets, big or small can have a profound effect on you and your marriage.
However, some things may be better kept private if they are embarrassing or regrettable, or if your partner simply wouldn’t want to know.
While the choice is yours, it’s always wise to weigh the consequences before sharing something awkward, surprising, or private from your past. But, if you feel the information is crucial to the health of your relationship, it may be worth sharing, no matter how uncomfortable it may seem.
Being open about your concerns can keep you both on the same page, even if the conversation feels awkward. Since it impacts both of you, it’s important to share this information to ensure your relationship remains strong in the long term.