Welcome aboard our newly introduced Relationships and Marriage segment in Weekend Hope! This page is dedicated to exploring the joys and challenges of relationships and marriage, as well as addressing the everyday issues that arise in these important areas of our lives.
Here, we provide practical advice, valuable tips, and thoughtful solutions to help navigate the complexities of relationships. With God’s guidance, we trust these discussions will bring hope, healing, and harmony to many.
We’re delighted to have you join us on this journey. Once again, a heartfelt welcome!
You can get your requests, problems etc across to us through this email – [email protected].
Warm regards

Good afternoon, Aunty Ronke,

I am a 21-year-old undergraduate. I met a lady during my first year at university when I was a fresher and struggling with my registration. She was in her third year at the time and was incredibly helpful, assisting me throughout the registration process and even helped me secure good accommodation.

Initially, I saw her as a caring person, especially since she is five years older than me. However, over time, I developed feelings for her because she was more mature than I was and treated me like her younger brother. Unfortunately, I mistook her care for romantic interest. By the time I realised I was on the wrong path, it was too late, as I discovered she was already engaged to her fiancé and planning to marry after graduating.

I am heartbroken and unsure of what to do. I had seen her as my soulmate and saviour due to her kindness, but she recently told me she has always seen me as a younger brother. It has become incredibly difficult for me to concentrate on my studies. I now feel like a shadow of myself.

Please, what can I do to get back on track?

Kolawole, Okitipupa

Dear Kolawole,

Your situation is quite simple and can be resolved with the right perspective.

Firstly, you were fully aware that this lady is older than you, but you mistook her care and kindness for something else entirely. It is possible for someone to care for you and regard you as a younger brother, but it was wrong of you to misinterpret her intentions.

It is unfortunate that things turned out this way, but I am certain you will overcome this and move on with your life. You are still young, and there will be plenty of opportunities for love in the future.

My advice to you is to prioritise your studies and focus on the reason your parents sent you to school. They have made sacrifices for your education, and it is important not to let their efforts go to waste. You are too young to get entangled in such matters, which are more like a fairy tale than real life.

Additionally, take this as a life lesson. It is important to understand that feelings can sometimes lead us astray, especially when we misinterpret actions or intentions. In future, take time to evaluate situations carefully before drawing conclusions. Surround yourself with positive influences, and remember that maturity often comes from making the right choices, even when emotions are involved.

Stay focused on your goals, build your character, and trust that the right things will happen in their own time.

Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Aunty Ronke

Dear Aunty Ronke,

I am very pleased that your paper has introduced this kind of column to help people address the crises and challenges couples face in their relationships. Kudos to you and your team.

I prefer not to disclose my identity for security reasons. I am a civil servant, and my wife is a banker. We met at university, dated, and eventually got married about 15 years ago. She comes from a well-to-do family, while I come from a modest background, as my parents were civil servants before they retired.

Her parents initially opposed our union, believing that I wouldn’t be able to take care of her adequately due to my status. However, being her father’s favourite, she managed to win them over. I promised them that I would always provide for her needs. It was a long and difficult journey, but love triumphed, and we got married.

Since then, I have worked hard to be a responsible husband and father. I ensure her needs are met, often going above and beyond to do so. She has supported me in small ways, particularly when times were tough. However, recently, I’ve noticed a change in her attitude towards me. She doesn’t seem to respect or appreciate me as much as she used to, especially because the economic situation in the country has made it harder for me to fulfil my responsibilities as I did before. She frequently nags whenever I am unable to provide something the household needs.

To make matters worse, I recently discovered that my wife has completed the construction of an 8-flat building somewhere in town without my knowledge. She is also running a transportation business and is planning to open a supermarket with the support of her parents. Yet, despite her financial ventures, she still complains when I am unable to meet certain needs without her stepping in to assist.

This revelation has deeply affected me, both at home and at work. I am unsure how to approach the matter—whether to confront her or not—because I am uncertain of what the outcome might be. I genuinely love my wife and do not want to lose her.

Please, I need your guidance on how to handle this situation.

Yours sincerely,

Segun, Owo

Dear Segun,

Your situation is indeed delicate, and it is clear that you are deeply committed to your marriage and wish to handle this matter with care. This is your wife we are talking about, and I believe you still possess the “charm” you used on her during your university days that made her choose you.

Take your time to process your feelings. It is natural to feel hurt and betrayed, but it is important to approach the matter with caution so that it does not get blown out of proportion. You know her better than anyone else, and I would advise you to speak to her with love as your soulmate. Make her understand that you are her husband and have no issue with her success.

Choose your words wisely. Start by telling her that trusting you should never be an issue at this stage of your marriage. Let her know that her actions make you feel inadequate, and express your emotions rather than blaming her.

Tell her you appreciate her contributions and support financially throughout. Assure her that you support whatever she is doing, but she should carry you along. Let her know that you were hurt and betrayed when you learned of everything from outsiders.

Also, explain that the economic situation in the country is why you have been unable to fulfil your responsibilities at home. Once you’ve listened to her side, share your thoughts on the importance of transparency and mutual respect in marriage. Express your desire to work together as partners in all aspects of life.

By doing this, I believe she will understand you, apologise, and everything will return to normal. The issue of trust will be resolved.

Remember, Segun, marriage is a journey with ups and downs, but mutual respect, love, and open communication are key to navigating challenges together. With patience and love, many issues like this can be resolved.

Good luck,