#Feminine line

Do children from broken homes succeed in marriage?

By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
It is often said by many people that as long as they lives, none of their children would marry from a broken home. With such marriage, according to them, a ground has already been prepared for divorce.

Likewise, sociologists have been able to establish a nexus between marriage to an individual from a broken home and divorce. The above position is logical while scientific revelation is  factual.

But in as much as this positions were borne out of  good intentions, such might pose dangers to the lives of their children. For instance, if one of their children gets a divine approval to walk down the aisle with a partner from a broken home and the parent stands in their way, it could be very dangerous.

In a chat with a Counsellor, Mrs Renike Arajuwa, she posited that examples abound of marriages to partners from broken homes that are more successful than marriages of children from stable homes.

“What this is pointing to is that, it takes God and not stability or lack of it  in homes to have a successful marriage. Stigmatisation of children is one of the numerous implications of divorce”, she stated.

Also speaking on this, the Methodist Bishop of Owo diocese, Rt. Rev. Solomon Adegbite explained that “Divorce is not acceptable according to the bible, God hates divorce and God is emphatic about it in the book of Malachi ,he even said he was unhappy with the people of Judah because they divorced the wives of their youth, to this end, divorce is not acceptable.

“But there are some cases I have come across, people do divorce in critical situations and later remarried permissively, it can apply to those who are excessively battered. Some escaped when the man almost beat life out of them, and because the man is not ready to change. Some people divorce because of infidelity, but for a minister of God, it is not acceptable. Divorce is basically wrong ,but when we look at the situation and circumstances surrounding what led to the divorce, it can now be determined whether it is permissible ,but according to God own standard, it is actually forbidden.

“However, many couples marry from a broken home and their marriages are successful, it does not mean that because their parents failed in that aspect, they too must be like them, no, we are destined differently. Many marriages that are failing today are actually children from the stable homes, what matter most is prayers, fear of God ,and understanding.

 “It is not the best for any parent to dictate whom to marry, especially if it is God’s direction, we can only advise and guide our children as parents.

“There are many different and complex causes and reasons for divorce, each of them specific to a couple’s marital relationship, the individual experiences and personal problems. Are we now insinuating that their children will suffer the same fate? It is not likely.

However ,most frequently cited reasons for divorce include, lack of commitment to the marriage, lack of communication between spouses, infidelity, abandonment, alcohol addiction, physical, sexual and emotional abuses, inability to manage or resolved conflicts, personal or irreconcilable differences.

Other reasons are, differences in personal and career goals, financial problem, different expectations about household task, different expectations about having children, interference from parents, immaturity, falling out of love, intellectual Incompatibility, religious conversion, life style differences, sexual incompatibility, criminal behavior, insistence of sticking to traditional roles, and not giving room for personal growth .Above all ,when couples do not fear God.

Also, one of the leading cause of divorce is lack of communication .You cannot have an effective relationship if the couple would not discuss their feelings or talk about their mutual and personal issues, will keep their resentment simmering under wraps and expect their partner to guess what the whole problem is about.

Divorces often happen because people rarely discuss their expectations in detail prior to marriage. Worse still, they are most times unwilling to work on their marriage afterwards but would prefer quick solutions rather than having to resolve issues carefully. People have got divorce for trivial reasons like snoring.

According to researches, people who come from broken homes are more likely to divorce than people who come from happily married households. Divorce seems less than a big deal if you have seen your parents go through it.

In many cases, quite a few of the problems that cause divorce have existed in the couple’s relationship long before they got married. The problems were either not acknowledged or were ignored in the hope that marriage might offer a miraculous panacea and guess what? It doesn’t.

Nobody can make you feel better about yourself and you cannot change and safe anybody without his consent, as someone once said ,it take two wholes to make a marriage, not two halves.

The implication of divorce is grave. Whatever the cause of any irresolvable conflicts in our homes, the couples concerned should talk to God, the one that instituted marriage. Remember, he has answers to all our problems, marital problems inclusive.

Do children from broken homes succeed in marriage?

‘My wife is fetish, wants to kill

Do children from broken homes succeed in marriage?

NUJ screens members

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *