By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
Screaming at young children is as harmful as incorrectly hitting them because a young child who is often screamed at is more likely to produce problem behaviours than the child who is brought up in a calmly corrective manner.
According to research,such a child could grow up into becoming unhappy and a hostile adult. And he or she is likely going to pass on the hostility.
Likewise,screaming and other harsh parenting techniques affect the brain development of growing children negatively.
Directly or indirectly showing hatred towards a growing child or even going to the extent of telling the child that he or she was born out of error simply because the parental set expectations are not met is most psychologically damaging.
For parents, getting angry at times cannot be ruled out and could be sometimes spontaneous. It is natural to be angry, but let us ensure we put our temper under check, this will help get our children to pay attention to us and behave better.
Here are inexhaustive steps that could help:
Identify what triggers you as a parent/guardian. It could be poor behaviours from your child or that your child often says “no” to all instructions.
Be calm when your child exhibits these traits and look for better solutions surrounding it. Avoid yelling by all means.
Walk away from your child when you notice you are about to lose your temper.
This will not only stop you from unnecessary stress or taking wrong steps, but will also make the child feel guilty about the wrong doing.
Change your communication pattern. It could be that those patterns you learnt from your parents while growing up are not as helpful with this current jet age children. Patterns like instantaneous excessively harsh punishments, making sarcastic remarks on your child, swearing, name-calling, giving your kids harsh treatments is not the solution .
Always remember that you are modelling how to deal with anger and frustration for your growing child.
Parenting guilt on its own can lead to parental inefficiency. Going forward, let go of parenting guilt, take a break, do not allow your guilt about past actions to restrain you from effective parenting in the future.
Apologising to your child when you are wrong is one of the most treasured blessings you can give to your growing up child. This is very crucial for an upcoming adult as it enables them to appreciate the significance of rendering an apology when they have wronged somebody.
The parenting journey is not what you can exclusively embark on. You can pick trusted friends or family members with like minds who you feel safe confiding in when you go off the positive parenting track. Nurture such parenting assistance by returning the favour when necessary.
You can also look out for professionals in the parenting field. They are on ground for great tips and professional counseling.
Practice self-care by being kind and forgiving towards yourself. That is,be kind to yourself. Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect parent who gets it all right at all times.