Forgiveness: Key to successful marriage
By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
Relationships can be challenging. Over time, repeated hurts can build up to destroy a marriage, but there is a crucial thing that can help you heal it before the damage is done.
When you are in a close relationship with another person, it is inevitable that you are going to step on each other’s toes, but the key is the attitude to forgive each other genuinely.
Forgiveness is surrendering and letting go the right to retaliate against someone who has hurt you, also forgiveness is acknowledging the imperfectness in someone else .
However, in marriage, forgiveness is a way of strengthening a relationship, because it shows that you are capable of ensuring goodwill towards your partner. Forgiveness is about giving yourself and your spouse the kind of future you deserve. It is the most important way to keep your relationship going.
When we forgive each other, it shows that we have extended sacrificial love and our bond grows deeper. There is need to forgive our spouse often, whether they have asked for it or not, we just have to let go and free our mind from hatred.
Remember when you do this; you are freeing yourself from a prison of resentment. Forgiving each other as a couple can also help you to inculcate in your children and people around you that forgiveness is key to a successful marriage. Seeing you and your spouse happy at all times is a way of laying down a good legacy for your children and others.
Forgiveness is not just about retaining harmony in your marriage; it is also about being kind to yourself. It is more tempting to hold unto negative emotions. Acting negatively or distancing yourself as a way of punishing the other person who has upset you is harmful, but forgiveness is a bold step in the right direction.
Forgiveness involves being able to make a deliberate decision to put your partner’s transgressions behind you, so that you can both move forward.
You may think that your spouse does not deserve your forgiveness until he or she changes his or her character, but you must remember that you are not a saint either. God always forgive us even when we do not deserve it. If our creator forgives us often, then how much more we mortals?
Marriage, like other close relationships needs forgiveness to thrive. Everyone needs to forgive and to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a skill, learn to build it in your relationship on daily basis.
Note that successful marriages are based on humility and forgiveness, it takes time to let go of those things you have no control over. Do not be afraid to say you are sorry, it makes the other person knows that you care and understand. Even though you may find it difficult to forgive, being able to do so is crucial in a marriage. Keep it in mind that, “to err is human but forgive is divine. Oloyede, a student of Rufus Giwa Polytechnic is on internship with The Hope.