By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
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Happiness is free, but funny enough, it is a very rare commodity in most families today. Many families seem to lack happiness and this has had a very negative effect on the product of the family which are the children.
Every society consist of different families. Hence, a happy family is the bedrock of a peaceful and happy society.
Therefore, a wise woman builds her home. Building a home is similar to building a house. Blocks and cement has to be arranged accordingly and carefully.
“The essence of a happy family is that they truly uplift each other “, says a family and relationship counselor.
Family happiness starts from the way couples treat themselves. During courtship, they are always mindful of the way they treat their partners. They may even go as far as inconveniencing themselves just to prove a point that they really are in love.
But immediately after marriage, couple seems to forget those things they do to keep their spouse, which is not supposed to be. Every little thing counts in marriage. Marriage is not a license to stop doing the things that attracted him to you during courtship.
Always create time for your spouse no matter how busy you are. When your spouse realize you have his time despite your busy schedule, he tends to feel special and this in turn makes him happy.
Be understanding and considerate. A home should be a resting place from the day worries and problems, not a fuel pump where fire is added to one problem. Avoid being a nagging wife And if there is an important reason to complain, do so with respect and humility to your husband. You don’t necessarily have to shout before you can pass a point.
Always communicate with your husband. Speak about everything and anything. After the day work, narrate how your day went with him. and don’t forget to ask about his own day experience. This simple act is likely to build your marriage and keeps it happy.
Stop trying to be equal with your husband. No man wants to marry another man. You may be the backbone of your family, but you don’t have to rub that fact in his face. Make him realise that you recognize him as the head of the family and watch how he will treat you like the queen which you really are.
Lack of trust is a killer of happiness in family. Avoid this trait. Always try to believe in your husband, everyone deserves a benefit of doubt. And in cases where you are in doubt, try to talk it out with him.
Never make the mistake of putting your job or friends first before your family. In happy families, family comes first before friends.
Moreover, families that eat together stay together. It’s that simple. Family dinners are essential. Try to eat together, this is another avenue to spend time together and be happy.
All work without play makes the home a dull place to live. Try to find time and have fun together. Try going on vacations and sightseeing, spend time doing the things you love together such as playing ball together, riding bike together, cooking together, dancing together and lots more.
Lack of intimacy could also lead to lack of happiness in family. Don’t deny your husband access to your body because of petty reasons. Try to be romantic, don’t always be the bored one when it comes to sexual intimacy with your husband.
Even with the entrance of kids, your family can still be happy. Understand that kids need fun too. When kids get bored and restless, they start looking for excitement out of the home and that is when friends become more important. Friendship is important, but subordinate to family. Your kids should be your second priority after your husband.
Talk to your kids, give them strict rules, and punish them when necessary, but don’t lose control and yell. If you yell at kids, that shows you are out of control and you create a non peaceful environment for them. Having sad kids is steps to having an unhappy family.
Be your kids’ friend, not their boss. Your kids should be free to talk to you about anything and everything at all time. When your kids get home, ask them what happened in school and be ready to give a listening ear even if what they are saying seems not to make sense to you.
Having a happy home and been happy yourself is one way to live a healthy life, therefore stay happy.
