‘Hot argument between couples should be a taboo’

Family angle Sept.Prophet and Mrs Kayode Ajifowowe hailed from Ifaki-Ekiti and Okemesi Ekiti respectively. They have been married for over forty years. They are blessed with children and grandchildren.Prophet Ajifowowe is the founder of Christ Apostolic Church, Agbala Emmanuel, Akure. In this interview with Josephine Oguntoyinbo, they explained how they have weathered the storms of life and advised couples and youths on how to have a successful marriage. Excerpts:

Briefly tell us your backgrounds?

Husband: My name is Prophet Michael Kayode Ajifowowe. I was born in 1946.I attended Methodist Primary School, Ifaki-Ekiti in the year 1951.I later learned bricklaying and I became a building contractor. God called me in 1980 to work in His vineyard.

Wife: My name is Mrs Taiwo Ajifowowe. I was born in 1957 into the family of Mr and Mrs Oladunni  Adeyemo.I am from Okemesi-Ekiti. I was a trader before God called me to work as a birth attendant.

How did you meet?

Husband: She came to greet her father at home. She was working in Lagos State then, we discussed and I proposed to her, she said she would pray about it, she then went to Lagos. When she visited her family again, she replied that she had prayed about it and accepted my proposal. I told her that I had earlier prayed before we met and God revealed, described, and even mentioned her name through a prophet, I was not a clergy then, I did not even know I would be one, I was a building contractor.

Ma, what was your reaction and response to his proposal?

Wife: I told him I would think about it and pray. After praying ,the spirit of God said I should marry him and I agreed.

Did you experience any opposition from family?

Husband: Yes, but because it was God’s arrangement, God took control and we overcame oppositions.

Wife: Some of my family members opposed it but I let them realised that it was God’s arrangement and not man-made.

What have been keeping you going?

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Husband: It is God all the way. He is our pillar and has been sustaining us, not by power or fame, but through understanding and perseverance.

How was it like when you first married?

Wife: After our wedding, to eat became a problem, even to take care of the children was difficult to the extent that we found it difficult to take them to the hospital, whenever they were sick. We would run from pillar to post and prayed. At the end of the day, some of them died, but I thank God for those who are alive. I received call twelve years after my husband became a clergy, I felt reluctant and my children were dying, but immediately I accepted to do the work, they stopped dying and God replaced in multiple folds all what I lost.

Husband: When we got married, it was tough in the beginning, I started doubting maybe she is not the one God spoke about, I was asking myself maybe I was too forward, but God later took control. God won the battle for us, I thank God, when he has spoken, it has no blemish, though it may be tough initially, it will end in praise. God is faithful.

Do you quarrel and how do you resolve it?

Husband: We thank God, our quarrels are minor ones, they do not last. We may argue slightly, but we resolve immediately and forget about it. We understand ourselves.

Wife: Not a serious fight that we will start exchanging blows or reporting to third parties. If I do something wrong and he becomes angry, I will keep quiet and apologise, likewise him. No family has ever come to settle quarrel for us, we resolved them amicably.

How do you cope with children upbringing alongside your career, calling?

Husband: It is God, we do not joke with anything that has to do with them. We thank God in a special way because they all fear God and the Lord is using them for his glory.

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Family members or househelp living with couples, do you encourage it?.

Wife: No, it has effect on couples, I did same and assuming I was not patient, I would have long divorced. They cause more problems, except if the woman can tolerate everything. Likewise house help, I have seen and heard several cases where husband misbehave when the wife was not at home. This has led to many divorce cases, it is not advisable, as a woman, when you get married, you should know that it is your responsibility to take care of your home.

How did mummy looked like when you first met her?

Husband: Skinny, she is now fat(laughs)

Youths hardly listen to their parents when it comes to choosing partners, what is your take?

Husband: It is advisable for both intending couples to take the name of their partners to be to their parents to pray and investigate about their families before getting married. Some family members are good while some are no go area. The intending couples must equally pray very well. Youths must exercise patience when it comes to choosing life partners, they have to shun sexual intercourse during courtship so as not to get hooked or choose wrongly. Some youths of nowadays have fallen victims simply because of petty and material things. It is gross indiscipline, it leads to other immoralities. A good child must be decent and contended. That is why you see some marriages these days  that do not last for more than a year because they got married because of fame, money, or level of education.

Domestic violence is rampant nowadays in the society, what do you think can be done to curb the trend?

Wife: It is condemnadable. Couples must tolerate and be patient with each other, it is barbaric to fight to the extent that your children will know about it not to talk of outsiders. Parents must be good examples. When one person is angry, the other must learn to keep quiet. Couples must avoid hot arguments so that it would not lead to something else, they should remember when they first met and live together as one flesh.

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What is mummy’s best colour, food?

Husband: Blue and white. She likes all kinds of solid foods.

What is daddy’s best colour, food?

Wife: White and blue, while his best food is pounded yam with vegetable soup.

Your advice to couples and intending couples?

Husband: Couples must be prayerful, patient and contented. It is not everytime things will be rosy, but with patience, all will be well. Wife should respect her husband while the husband in return must love his wife unconditionally, take care of her and pamper her. Couples should love themselves as Christ loves the church, they should learn how to forgive and forget, settle their differences amicably to avoid bad advice. They should discipline their children and pray with them. Also, intending couples must first seek the face of God and investigate properly, their parents must play vital roles when they are about to choose partners.

Wife: Women must be submissive to their husbands, even if they are richer, husbands are the heads, women must not be proud, they should always remember that all what they have belong to the husband, even the wife is the husband’s property. No matter how aggressive or wicked a man is, if the woman is humble, he will calm down and change for better. Couples must be role models for others to emulate. Divorce should be avoided because nobody is perfect. Above all, fear of God and support for each other is key to a successful marriage.


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