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Thursday, December 8, 2022

How do you communicate with your spouse?

By Josephine Oguntoyinbo


One of the ways to trace the source of continuous conflict in a marriage is to assess your communication styles because very often the issue is not what is being said but how it is said.

 One of the key learning points in any relationship is discovering how best to communicate with your partner so that they not only hear your words, but they hear your heart. This is a learned skill; it does not come naturally to any of us.

Communication in relationships is essential to having a happy, healthy partnership. Your partner is likely the person you spend the most time with, which means there is a greater risk of misunderstandings and conflict. But when you perfect communication in relationships, their will be peaceful atmosphere in the home.

Real communication in relationship means that you can go to your partner about anything, sharing happiness and sadness, good days and bad. You are willing to discuss with them because you know that they will support you and love you no matter what.

We all know couples who seem to fight all the time and those who seem to never fight at all. While all relationships have ups and downs, frequent fighting is a sign of lack of communication in relationships.

The point is not to never disagree with your partner but  It is to improve your conflict resolutions through positive comments so that when disagreements do happen, you are able to turn them into something that strengthens your relationship instead of tearing it apart.

Discovering how to improve communication in relationships is excellent for your emotional intimacy, or ability to listen, understand and be compassionate toward your partner.

 Developing your communication skills shows that you respect and value your partner and their feelings and opinions. When people feel honoured and accepted in this way, emotional intimacy skyrockets and physical intimacy often follows.

There is a huge difference between speaking for effect and speaking for effectiveness. Speaking for effect simply means that you say whatever is on your mind regardless of how it comes across; when you speak for effectiveness you frame your words in a manner that is most likely to bring clarity to the issue at hand and progress the relationship in the direction of your preferred future. .

How do you and your spouse communicate, especially in conflict situations? Do you merely throw out your words as they come, not minding the damage done or are you disciplined in how you express yourselves even when you are upset?

On the other hand, is there a lack of meaningful communication in your relationship? Sometimes, the difficulties in a marriage arise not just from speaking the wrong words but also not speaking enough of the right words..

Words are vehicles that can create intimacy and understanding in a marriage when used appropriately. Do you and your partner take time to build each other up with words of encouragement, affirmation and appreciation? The right words are crucial in creating a climate of acceptance, love and mutual respect in a home..

Always remember that on the other side of your mouth is a feeling heart. Ask yourself daily, ‘What is it like for my spouse living on the other side of my mouth?

Therefore, communicating with your spouse include how you say things tactfully, how to listen in a way that your partner feels heard, how to stay in a calm conversational zone instead of escalating into angry outburst.


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