By Adedotun Ajayi

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A few years ago, Omowumi, a 31-year-old woman, was a bridesmaid at her friend, Atinuke’s wedding. She was one of her best friends and she couldn’t wait to witness her finally walking down the aisle with Babafemi. Atinuke was a lucky woman.

But luck was to run out on her as her husband left her for her best friend, Omowumi.

“After the wedding, I was friendly with the couple and I maintained a consistent communication with them. That was how I got to know Babafemi more. His ways were pleasing to me and I fell in love with him, and he also became smitten with me,” Omowumi confesses.

They became engaged in an affair after they confessed their feelings to each other.

Babafemi, Omowumi narrates, walked out on his marriage three years later to set up home with her, leaving a distraught Atinuke behind.

“The guilt was eating right into my bones. Graciously, they did not have a child together, so at least my conscience was clear about robbing a child of a stable home. Atinuke is a strict Catholic and therefore refused to sign the divorce papers Babafemi presented her with, and I refused to let him pressure her into it. I owe my ex-best friend at least that much for ‘stealing’ her husband,” Omowumi says.

Tolulope, a 41-year-old executive who lives and works in Akure, says she was a victim of a “husband snatcher”.

“The woman who stole my husband got transferred to my department. Now I have to see her every day, and every time I do I want to punch her in the face,” she narrates angrily.

“I have thought about asking the HR manager if I can get a transfer, but I don’t want her to win again. I don’t know how I will cope with having her around. It’s humiliating and it crushes my spirit,” Tolulope  says.

Considering the stories of both women, Can a man be snatched? To ‘snatch’ is to take forcefully without consent.

The trend of horrid tales of husband snatching has gotten so bad that women are taking to social media to air their disdain on a certain high-traffic online forum about the activities of women accused of breaking homes and snatching their fellow women’ husbands.

Some enraged females even went as far as splashing photos of the other woman (the snatcher) for the online community to take jabs at, claw at, mud-sling and humiliate.

But why are men ‘snatched’ the most? You rarely (until recently) hear of society describing a woman as having been ‘snatched’ when she leaves her partner for somebody new.

Popular relationship expert, Blessing CEO took to her social media to reveal a shocking fact about women who snatched other women’s husbands and said that those type of women who do that don’t make noise like her. She said they are usually the unassuming and less suspicious people who are easygoing, calm and God fearing but if they get a hold of a man, they will never let go.

According to Blessing CEO’s words, “The real people who sleep with your husbands and snatch them don’t make noise like us. Many of them are full church goers, innocent, calm and God fearing but ‘if them catch ur man, otilo”

She further classified them in her caption as saying, “Gentle reminder. Na ur house girl, Nanny, or best friend, the people you least expect that would snatch your husband”.

While such evils do happen in households from people close to them, some fans however feel that women should not be speaking about it on social media platforms because it’s unhealthy.

According to a relationship counsellor, Peter Odeleye, it is perceived that a woman can scheme to ‘steal’ a man from another woman – the mistress will cunningly learn of the wife’s weaknesses from the man himself and then convert them into her strengths.

“If the married man constantly complains that his wife does not serve him tea on cold evenings, she slyly makes a habit of serving him tea after a long hard day at work. Wife does not give you a back rub? Oh the mistress is ready with her exotic massage oils and willing hands. Basically the mistress meets his needs where the Mrs doesn’t.

Odeleye maintains that, “It all boils down to individual morals and values. Another woman can’t ‘steal your man’ unless he allows himself to be ‘stolen’. What were the red flags you missed out on while you were dating? You must have seen them but chose to ignore them because you were infatuated. To avoid future misunderstandings let him know your expectations of him, and  his expectations of you.”

Still, when it comes to matters of love, commitment and infidelity, women always come out smelling like manure while men are surrounded by the wafting smell of roses, Odeleye said.

In his expert opinion, society places high expectations on women especially when it comes to marriage. “They are expected to be resilient and accept all tragedies that come with the union,” he says.

According to Odeleye, women are often stigmatized when they opt out of unhappy unions, some to the point of being kicked out of intimate peer groups by their still married girlfriends since they ‘no longer belong.’ They are deemed blemished and therefore not good enough to partake in the banquet of the happily married.

Odeleye explains that in some instances they are seen as a threat by their still-married friends who normally wouldn’t let a single woman within 10 miles of their dear weak-fleshed husbands” he concluded

On the contrary, a clergyman Sunday Olakunle said the whole notion of “it’s the woman’s fault” started from the Garden of Eden.

“When Eve was tempted by the serpent, Adam was standing right next to her,” says Olakunle

He quotes Genesis 3:6: “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

Olakunle concludes, “Yet when God admonished them for their great sin Adam was quick to point out that, ‘The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it’ (Genesis 3:12).”

“In this context, women lure men into these acts, no man in his right senses would leave his home if not tempted by another woman outside, husband snatching isn’t a myth but a reality. Men have a lot of work to do, flee from temptation at all cost” he said