By Bamidele Kolawole
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Homosexuality, although unacceptable in our part of the world, is a growing trend in our society, with many men and boys coming out of their closets and unveiling their sexual preference before the world and their families.
For some, they were just tired of carrying about the cloak of secrecy. For others, they were forced to come out of the closet due to their conscience being riddled with guilt for deceiving their families.
According to Oxford dictionary meaning, homosexuality is romantic and sexual attraction, or sexual behavior between members of the same sex or gender. It also refers to a person’s sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions.”
Researchers that studied human sexuality believe that sexual orientation can grow and change in a person’s lifetime. Having feelings about or having a sexual experience with a person of the same sex does not necessarily mean one is homosexual. It is common for people to experiment with their sexuality. This occurs more often during adolescence and young adulthood.
Despite the public censure and disapproval in our part of the world, homosexuality is steadily spreading, as gay guys hook up on clandestine social media links and are also inducing unsuspecting youths and luring them into their midst.
According to investigations made by The Hope, many young boys have been hooked on to homosexuality through their exposure to these sites on social media, such as Facebook and WhatsApp, as they are hoodwinked by older gay guys through gifts and other forms of inducement.
The Hope brings an expose on the growing racket of homosexuals on the social media which spans across the shores of Nigeria and spreads overseas.
One of the slangs commonly used in the community is “Top” which is used in referring to the male or dominating partner, while the passive or the effeminate partner often called “the wife,” is referred to as the “Bottom”.
Other terms are Dicks, Cocks, Johnsons, Willies, Weinies and Wilsons, among other terms, depending on the culture and location.
One of their social media platforms on Facebook, Slimsexy, has over 40,000 members of homosexuals both in Nigeria and in the diaspora.
A young man, Wandy Cool, in a chat with our undercover reporter who played along as having keen interest, disclosed that his experience in the gay community as been on for the past five years since he joined the community as a gay.
According to him, he joined gay community when he was 12 years old, and since then he has been involved in homosexual act.
He said he was lured into homosexuality by one of his “street brothers” in their neighbourhood.
“One of my “street brothers” lured me into it. Then, whenever we were together, he would be showing his interest in me by fondling my penis, and touching my other body parts.
“One day, my parents were not around. He fondled my penis, kissed me and from there we started having an affair.
“We have been together since then. We also paired up with others gay friends. I could not resist them and I became hooked into homosexuality,” he said.
According to the Lagos based gay, many times, he had made efforts to quit the act but it was not easy for him to quit, as he began to enjoy it.
He noted that he was not even interested in women, let alone thinking about having sex with them, as he felt being with a man was okay.
Another gay, Victor Akinyemi (not real name), 18 year-old who told The Hope that he was a soldier’s son, shared that he joined the gay community two years ago and he had been having intimacies with different partners.
He noted that his best friend from school lured him into, the act and he had sex with him twice, but he did not allow him the third time because of the pain he felt during penetration of his anus.
“My anus swelled up the first time I had sex I could not walk straight for two days because it was painful, but the second time was fair,
“Later, I decided to quit the relationship and I looked for another boyfriend that had normal size penis which I enjoyed more, he said”.
He noted that his sexual partners never used condom on him. All his sexual experience had been flesh to flesh since he started, he added.
He said he does not like women and he has not had sex with a woman in his life, saying he would love to be gay till he dies.
Gentle Child from Ogun State spoke about his lifestyle, being a gay. He said his role is Bottom and disclosed that he has been into gay relationship for the past 10 years.
The father of three children said that he married his wife because of his parents’ persistence that he must get married and have children.
According to him, “I love my wife but I love my gay partner more, because he was the one having sex with me.
“My partner is a caring man who provides everything I ask from him. He shows me love. He spends money lavishly on me,” he explained.
Another gay from Uganda named Traque said he started acting as a gay six years ago, and he is planning to get married to a woman. He noted that after his marriage he would continue with his involvement in the community because of his sexual preference.
He disclosed how he got hooked into homosexuality. “My friend and I had been relating as friends for two years before he introduced me to homosexuality.
“One day, he invited me to a party. As we returned from the party, he pleaded with me to pass the night with him. As it was late already he said he would love me to stay with him. That was how I knew he was gay and he eventually had intimacy with me.
“I don’t like to talk about my first experience being a gay, I didn’t like that feeling at first. Immediately my gay partner penetrated me, I was not happy. I did not enjoy it because it was painful. I could not hold myself because of pains.
“Since then, I changed my orientation about being bottom. From there, I became top because of the pains involved in penetration. I did not allow anyone to penetrate me I prefer giving it to people.
“For more than three years, I had a steady relationship with him before he eventually relocated to Nigeria. “After he left, I found another lover. He was the man of my dream. I thought he would stay with me forever, because then I was not ready to marry any woman. We were in love for two years before he broke my heart.”
One of the members of the gay community who spoke with The Hope is a 300 level student of Business Administration from Adekunle Ajasin University, Akungba Akoko, Ondo State. He noted that he plays the role of a versatile, meaning that he can have sex with his partner and his partner can also have sex with him.
According him, that is what he has been doing to survive in school and to take of himself.
“I need a man who is ready to grow with me and take care of me financially and everything in life. I’m hard and I can handle any man who comes around me,” he said.
According to Henry from Kenya “I have number of traits as a gay man, but they are not all that common. These are totally random and in no particular order.
“I don’t like anal sex; it hurts. I’m perceived as asexual. I’m attracted sexually to men, so I’m not asexual; I’m just frigid. I don’t want to be penetrated, most of the time.
“As a result of the above, I’m also considered cold and aloof. I feel a bit misunderstood, I hate my looks and feel inferior around other gay men.
“I love being with a middle aged gay guy because everyone ignores me. I am a total introvert and love my own company; many gay men don’t. If I had a husband/boyfriend, I would communicate better with him non-verbally, rather than with words.
“I happen to find Turkish/Arab/Middle Eastern/Indian men particularly attractive. I really like beards on my men too”.
On February 9, United States President, Joe Biden, had issued a presidential memorandum aimed at expanding protection of the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and intersex people worldwide, including potentially through the use of financial sanctions.
Despite international pressure, ex-President Goodluck Jonathan signed the Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Act in January 2014, prescribing between 10 and 14 years inprisonement for cohabitation between same-sex sexual partners, public show of same-sex relationship, registration, operation, or participation in gay clubs, societies, and organisation, amongst others.
However, the Biden Presidency has threatened “swift and meaningful” responses, including financial sanctions, against countries found guilty of human rights abuses of LGBTQI+ persons.
This is not the first time gay men would be caught and mobbed in parts of Nigeria, going by the public rejection of homosexuality.
On April 21, 2020, two gay men were caught red-handed and paraded in Umueze, Orlu, in Imo State, by residents.
The two gays in a video were caught at a popular college in the state and two condoms were recovered from them.
Also in May 2020, two gay men were caught in Enugu State, with one of them confessing to belong to the music group of a church.
Some men have been engaging themselves in gay act without even considering sexually transmitted infections that have increased substantially over the past decade.
