By Josephine Oguntoyinbo

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Marital competition is usually the result of insecurity. If you feel like you have to out -do your spouse, you are probably insecure about the marriage.
According to a research, competition can also be the result of jealousy.
Competition sneaks into a marriage when we compare ourselves with our spouse and begin striving to establish superiority or supremacy over them.
Without a doubt, the world is full of competition; we all face it daily. We compete at school for top marks, compete in games for the prize, compete at work for a promotion among others.
Meanwhile ,healthy competition is not all bad because it sometimes helps us reach for standards we never thought we could reach.However, it can get exhausting when it enters the home arena.
When you come home, you should feel you have a place of refuge from a competitive world because it could lead to a tragedy to introduce the pressure of competition into your home.
According to a quote about marriage “When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.”.
A person who competes with their spouse has entirely missed the point of marriage. It has been declared that marriage is based on the premise that ‘the two shall become one’ , therefore,striving to establish supremacy over someone who is an integral part of you is an exercise in futility.
To compete with your spouse is to defeat the purpose of marriage which is to complete each other..
Marriage is based on the covenant which means you place your individual strenghts at each other’s disposal. Your spouse’s victories should be your victories and your spouse’s disappointments should be your disappointments. Competition has no place in marriage and unless it is eliminated, a strong partnership would remain an elusive dream.
For instance, almost everyone wants to be the “cool parent” that the kids are excited to see come home. Therefore, some partners would be a little jealous of the cool parent.
The first step is to remind yourself that you and your spouse are one flesh. A marriage where spouses compete with each other goes against the principles of marriage and does not glorify God.
Secondly, talk to your spouse about the competition you have noticed and work together to figure out the source. Identify the underlying insecurity or jealousy that is making you so competitive.
Then, figure out ways to be more of a team. For starters, the person who is doing better can offer to help the one who is struggling. If one of you gets to spend more time with the kids than the other, figure out what you can do to make it fairer.
Similarly, if one of you is considered the “cool parent” because he or she is always playing good while the other is playing harsh, work on presenting a more united front to the kids.
Treating your spouse like he or she is your opponent can turn a healthy marriage into an unhappy one. Note that married life should be all about team work not competition.