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Thursday, December 8, 2022

Is flower presentation sign of true love?

By Maria Famakinwa

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It is still unclear to some parents nowadays why young men present flowers to ladies when proposing love to them. The culture which they described as alien to known marriage institution of the land has been generating reactions with the youths maintaining that it is the way to go in the twenty first century, while others see it as an act of deceit.

Many who are in tune with the idea of proposing love to a lady through presentation of flower want to know where such culture originated from and the logic behind it. In order to provide answers to these questions, The Hope spoke with some youths and parents if presenting flowers to ladies is cultural practices and a way to express true love.

In the words of Mr Ayorinde Babalola, who got married early this year, the main reason youths present flowers to ladies when proposing love to them is to connect with an emotion that words could not explain.

He said: “Whether it’s love, joy, affection, appreciation, sympathy, romance or apologies, flower giving helps to communicate the deepest feelings in such an elegant manner. It’s been said that no tradition is as effective in communicating human emotions as gifting flowers or bouquets. Because flowers are generally used to communicate certain emotions, they’re very encouraging of intimate connections.

“The visual effect of giving flowers to express love, lingers long after the gift is given. That is the world we are and we must embrace the change it offers. Ladies also cherish presentation of flowers to them as a way of showing love. I proposed to my wife on her birthday and gave her flower in the presence of her friends. She was very happy and have no choice but to accept me. I see nothing wrong about it.”

Sharing a similar sentiment, a photographer, Mr Pelumi Olukayode, also said that there was nothing wrong presenting a flower to a lady one truly loves because flower signifies pure love beyond words.

When told that it was not part of our culture he said: “There is need to adjust culture in order to fit into the current demands. Culture should not be static. The cultural practices that was accepted in the 70s-90s do not comply with today’s demand. That is where many are missing it. If any guy proposes to a lady now without presenting her a flower, such will be made jest of and tag archaic. In fact, such an act can discourage the lady from accepting the guy because she will see him as old fashioned.

“You don’t expect me to play my love affair the way my grandpa did in his days. Love then was subjected to different processes which made it boring and discouraging, unlike today’s love that you express with everything in you. Presenting flowers to ladies as a way of love expression garnishes the relationship and gives men free access to ladies heart even without money because flowers as a symbol of love has a unique way to cement  the relationship,” he said.

An already engaged lady, Grace Motunrayo, who disclosed that she cherished the flower she was presented last year when her fiance proposed to her,  however maintained that presenting flowers to ladies for love expression does not guarantee that it would lead to the altar if the guy is not financially buoyant.

Her words: “Though, flowers presentation to ladies as love expression is commendable and should be applauded because such is the general practice no, however, what speaks volume than flower ideas for love is the guy’s pocket. The truth is that most ladies will throw flower back at any poor guy who comes proposing love to them. Ladies today are not ready to settle for men with flowers without money. Don’t tell me you love me when you cannot meet my financial needs,” she said

In the words of another lady, an undergraduate, Damola Ogundipe, her love was worth more than a flower.  She added that she would only accept a flower from a man after assessing him financially.

Her words: “Though, ladies admire flowers to be given as love symbol including me, but despite the fact that it is trending, I will rather prefer money to be transferred into my account than openly professing love to me with a synthetic flower. From my personal findings, some of the relationship that started with open presentation of flowers to ladies never lasted because the beauty of the flowers covered the deceit in the professed love. Why can’t  the man give me a car key as love expression? I mean that there are better gifts out there to show love than a flower. Some ladies are deceived into marriage through presentation of flowers only to discover after weddings that their husbands cannot provide for them and at last quit the marriage.

“I have heard of a situation where a guy presented flowers to three different ladies without marrying any of them. Men must show sincerity and commitment beyond flowers presentation that is what entails for couples to live happily together.”

In the submission of a parent, Mr Kukoyi Okunade, who condemned the trend in strong term said that such was not known to a black man. His words: “I am a black man with attitude. I believe in the expression of love by gifting items. It is not in the black man’s culture to present flowers to the opposite sex as love expression. Youths doing it now lack indepth understanding of our culture and need to be better educated about the dangers of promoting alien practice.

“The idea of flower presentation to a lady as a way of expressing love has again brought to the fore how we are losing our core values on the altar of modernisation. It is sad that youths who are expected to imbibe and sustain our culture are most culpable in this useless idea they tagged civilisation. Some parents who ordinarily should correct them also wish it away. If we all fold our arms and watch things degenerate, a time will come when parents will not be aware that their children are getting married. We need to speak against any foreign culture that is contending with our marriage institution. The normal thing is for parents to be carried along regarding their children courtship,” he said.

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