Is food the right way to men’s heart?

By Maria Famakinwa
|
Back in the past, parents would make sure that their daughters knew how to cook different meals, because of the belief that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and for a woman to have a blissful marriage she must be a good cook.

The assumption is that men all over the world desire good food and see it as another way women can express love and affection towards them for lasting memories.  The Hope spoke with some men in Akure, the Ondo State capital, on how important  food is to them and if food can right the wrongs in marriage.

A public servant, Mr Kolade Oriowo, in his submission, disagreed with the belief of some that the way to men’s heart is through food, and he tagged such a belief as archaic, belonging to the dark old days. “As far as I am concerned, this belief is archaic and does not exist in today’s world, where we have good numbers of men who cook better than women. Does it mean that the day the meal is not delicious the man will shun his wife? If this was indeed true then, all men would only want to marry women who were chefs. It is not possible for a woman who lacks morals to rely on her ability as a good cook to save her home. Morals to me is the only way to my heart and my woman understands this,” he said.

Sharing a similar sentiment, a trader, Mr Innocent Chinazo, explained that not all men subscribe to such belief and asked, ” What if the woman is an exceptional cook but of worse character, will her cooking alone be able to save her home? There are different ways to  men’s heart aside food, so women hoping to make themselves a home in their men’s heart should forget about food, because before I got married, I had been cooking. If I get upset, I do not think of eating anything, likewise most men. Of what use is the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach when he has to come home to nagging and warfare?

“Instead of learning all the recipes of different cultures to win your man’s heart, why not learn virtues of a good woman any man would want to come home to meet? The fact is that most men can still manage women who are not too good in the kitchen with the belief that they can improve her than coping with women who lack morals. Or have you ever heard couples seeking for divorce because their wives could not cook?” he said.

Speaking differently, a businessman, Mr Wasiu Fawole, believed strongly that food is actually the sure way to a man’s heart, and submitted that food and sex are basic physiological needs of men which, according to him, have great inherent meaning. “These two combinations give men great power, when they are used lovingly, without attempted manipulation; they mean a lot to any man. After all, it is often said that an hungry man is an angry man. No matter how angry a man could be with his wife when he leaves home in the morning, let the wife put his favourite meal before him when he comes back, the sight of the food alone is enough to pacify the man, no matter how angry he was in the morning.

“Do you realise that hunger itself is enough to destabilise a man and make him angry unnecessarily? A man doesn’t see himself as useless, until he becomes hungry and cannot feed his family. Good women understand the secret that cooking food for their husbands is a good way to win their affection.  No matter how angry I can be, once I eat good food, the anger disappears. No man will be happy living with a woman who prepares noddles or bread/tea for him always, that is why some men visit eatery joints and even indulge in extra-marital affairs to get the satisfaction their wives cannot give them at home, and if this continues, the wife can lose the man to a woman who is perfect in the kitchen,” he said.

A counselor, Mrs Modupe Adetope, opined that people generally love good food, which she said is one of the basic needs of man, but warned that it is not enough to sustain a marriage. “If your cooking is top-notch and your attitude is bad, such home cannot succeed. Afterall, character is the first thing any man notices before considering your ability in the kitchen.

“Cooking is a survival skill no doubt, but what if your man is already a good cook himself? Remember, male chefs dominate the food industry now, and even if he is not a good cook, he can easily get access to all kinds of affordable and delicious foods at different joints,  despite the fact that their wives at home can cook the same food excellently. That is why I will like to counsel women against believing that the way to a man’s heart is the stomach. Dark are the days when such statement was right. No woman wants a man who needs a cook or maid for a wife, not even now that some men can cook better than women,” she said.

Mrs Adetope listed the true way to a man’s heart to include: Love, submission, tolerance, trust, respect, sincerity, among other virtues.  She said absence of these virtues could destroy any marriage, even if the wife wins an award as the world best cook.