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Is it ideal for a PhD holder to marry illiterate?

By Maria Famakinwa

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It is an unwritten norm that in choosing a life partner, one should go for a spouse who can compliment one’s effort and status in every sphere of life including academic qualifications for compatibility and understanding.
Due to this belief, it is hard to see a doctorate degree holder settling down for an hairdresser, a bread seller, a mechanic, a carpenter, a tailor, a bricklayer among others, so as, to keep the status and integrity intact if only to escape societal backlash.
To get more facts on the topic, The Hope spoke with some people if it is ideal for a PhD holder to marry an illiterate. In the submission of a businesswoman, Mrs Abiola Adelakin, hinted that such union was unthinkable and remained in the realm of imagination unless the educated spouse was bewitched. Her words,”Take for instance, I struggle to educate my son up to PhD level for a promising future, only for him to introduce an hairdresser to me as his fiancee, God forbids. The marriage will not hold. I will pray to God to cast out any spell used against him and do all I can to stop the marriage.
On if their relationship is based on true love, she disagreed and asked, “What kind of true love are you talking about? That a son I was indebted to train up to third degrees want to marry an hairdresser? If such happened, which I don’t pray, I will disown the child. In fact, my children understand me very well and will never fall into such a trap. If it has been happening to others, it cannot happen to me.”
Sharing a similar sentiment, an educationist, Mr Dairo Fagbaibo, also opined that no parent will support that the child he trained up to PhD level got married to an illiterate. His words: “The major reason for acquiring certificate is a for promising life which must be complimented by a good spouse otherwise, there will be crack in the wall,” he said.
Mr Fagbaibo’s, son, Olumide, a Masters degree holder also maintained that it is not possible for him to marry an illiterate as a wife. He said,”I cannot cope with a partner who lacks knowledge about current issues. Such cannot add any value to me because she cannot contribute intelligently to move my life forward. I cannot obtain a PhD and marry an illiterate. It will be a set back for me. It is not possible.”
A self employed graduate, Ms Omodara Olofin, opined that such marriage cannot last if they were eventually joined in a holy matrimony. Her words: “It is unthinkable that after getting my PhD, I will choose to marry a bricklayer. In fact, I cannot as a graduate. A husband who cannot express himself in simple and correct English sentence is not my dream. Inferiority complex will definitely set in for the man and for me because it will be difficult to present him to my friends. In fact, my parents will curse me for such a stupid mistake.”
When asked if the man is financially buoyant said,” forget money, there are areas of life where money becomes useless. How can a lady with a doctorate degree settle for a bricklayer due to money? Not me, even if he is the richest man on earth. Imagine a graduate lady who got married to a spare part seller, the man was sick and she bought the recommended drugs and sent it to her husband. The prescription was indicated on the drug’s label but because the husband was unable to read and in serious pain, he took an overdose which worsen his situation. What do you do to correct this costly mistake? We need to get some things right that everything is not money. It is not possible for a PhD holder to marry an illiterate.”
Speaking differently, a retired civil servant, Mrs Grace Oluyemi, , said that it is possible for a doctorate degree holder to marry an illiterate in as much as the person will agree to further his/her education and cited her self as an example. ” When my husband, a Director, wanted to marry me and discovered that I was deficient in my school certificate result, he said I must re-sit for the examination to make my papers. I did and I made my papers and was given admission into NCE. I had two children before I completed my NCE programme. My husband was still not satisfied and he advised that I go for my first degree, before I completed my first degree, my husband had been promoted to the position of a Permanent Secretary. After my university education, I went for my Masters Degree. This made my husband to be proud of me. What would have happened if I was not ready to further my education?. You can marry your choice irrespective of his/her level of education if such is ready to go back to school.”
A surveyor, Mr Salem Okorie, also advised parents against interfering on who their children should marry. He said the fact that parents spent much on their children’s education does not mean they should dictate who the children would marry. Instead, they should seek for their children’s marital happiness. His words: “My sister who is a Master’s degree holder married an iron bender, despite the stand of my family against the union, but today, they have God to thank for blessing the husband. If God is leading them, educational qualification should not be a yardstick.”
A marriage counselor, Mrs Nike Oriola, said that it would be easier for an illiterate lady who got married to an educated man to further her education than convincing an uneducated man who got married to an educated lady to go back to school. “Cases like these abound and before you know what is happening, inferiority complex sets in and the man will start calling his wife unprintable names, especially when he sees her with her male colleagues. Going into such a marriage needs thinking.”
Oriola also disclosed that some well educated men prefer to marry illiterate ladies who will not question their authorities. She said: “Men in this category see highly educated ladies as sophisticated and therefore expensive, too exposed and difficult to handle. They see illiterate wives as more innocent and easier to manage. The issue of educational qualification as prerequisite to choosing a partner depends on individual’s priority and marrying an educated spouse does not guarantee a blissful marriage. It is not the most important ingredient of marriage. Yet, it is advisable for couples to be ready to take steps that will improve their lives and benefit their homes.

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