By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
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The state of being a widow occurs when a wife loses her husband through death and does not remarry; widowhood is thus a separation, a placing apart of a wife from the husband through death.

Most African countries have different thoughts on  whether  widowhood is actually a curse  or not especially with the way some widows are being treated in the society.

To this end, The Hope reporters went round the town to examine the views of people.

Speaking, a lecturer at the Department of Social Development, Rufus Giwa Polytechnic, Owo, Mrs Olanireti Alabi who described widowhood as a traumatic  experience that naturally should evoke sympathetic treatment lamented that the  reverse is the case in the society, especially in Africa.

She condemned the harmful traditional rites that are associated with the passing away of beloved spouse of a woman in Africa saying ideally  a widow deserves support and care.

To this end, she called on government at all levels to always support and encourage widows through empowerment, granting financial support, formulate policies and programmes to end violence against widows and their children among others.

She stressed the need for husbands to form the habit of preparing their wills while family of the deceased should be ready to assist widows and their children.

Also, an Akure based marriage counselor, Mrs Taiwo Adedigba opined that widowhood is not a curse but most likely, the result of being a widow is a radical change in the woman’s social status and lifestyle. It tends to impact more traumatically on the woman because she lost a partner, a friend, and breadwinner in most cases.

“Widows are among the most vulnerable and destitute because of cultural practices and beliefs, inheritance laws which militate against the rights of widows. Most time, the society blamed the widow for the passing away of her husband. She is indirectly asked why she should survive through humiliation, degradation, and oppression, though not all widows are subjected to this.

“The perception of widowhood in Africa identify two broad defining aspects, namely, disinheritance or deprivation and mandatory observance of culturally prescribed burial rites, which inflect psychologically and physically on the widow. Though, things are gradually changing and this ugly trend is reducing in our society. It is therefore our duties to do something positive to help these women,” she said.

While saying people should not look down on widows as it is an accident of life that could befall anyone, she harped on the need for the society to remove the stigma attached to widowhood.

According to a secondary school Islamic teacher, Mr ifetade Hausat ,people must understand that destiny cannot be changed, widowhood is not a curse but what is bound to happen to anyone.

“Destiny always come to play in every human’s life, so being a widow or widower is not a curse, it is a destiny and a certain thing which a married couple will surely encounter at a point in time in their lives, because we came  alone into this world and we will be leaving singly.

Evangelist Isaiah Olajide of Christ Apostolic Church, Perfecter Prayer Centre, Oba-Ile, also opined that “widowhood is not a curse since we came into the world through  a source. The scripture said that we are not of this world, we have our origin which is heaven and we did not come at the same time and definitely we are not going at the same time, we are all going to die, leaving one’s partner behind and such partner will become a widow or widower “.

To him, God did not see them as a widow or widower, but as someone who remains to carry on the legacy of the deceased on earth.

 He maintained that it is not likely for both partner to die at the same time.

Mrs Florence Adejuyigbe lost her husband about nine years ago. She complained about the difficulties she has been passing through since she lost her husband

“I and my husband used to join hands  to pay the children school fee but I am doing  it all alone since his demise. It has not been easy but with God on my side, I know all will be well “, She stated.

While describing widowhood as a destiny that must happens in one’s life, Mrs Adejuyigbe believed that widowhood is God’s will and nobody can question him.

 Mrs Adejuyigbe informed that she has decided not to get married anymore noting that she is okay with what God has done for  her “beside that, I am too old to get married again”.

According to Mrs Molojuola Ibijareola, “The understanding of Yoruba about widowhood shows that it is not a curse and no one has seen it as a taboo because it a certain thing that must happen whether you like it or not “.

I lost my husband in a car accident when my children were at their tender ages and that has caused a lot of distractions in my life, it actually make things difficult since about 60 years ago, but I thank God .

 Alhaji Arikewusola Ibrahim also commented that widowhood is not a curse or an insult.

To him, widowhood is a compulsory thing that must occur. ”Widowhood is supported by the Holy Quran and Holy Bible. According to the Quran, God said it will always be among you; someone will die and leave his wife. The wife he left should keep herself for four months and ten days as directed by the Quran before she can remarry, if she is still young”.

He explained further that widowhood is not anybody’s making, therefore anyone who is in such position should not be curse or see it as a curse. “Everyone must show them love and support them to overcome challenges”.