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Saturday, July 31, 2021

Keeping secrets can ruin relationship

By Josephine Oguntoyinbo

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Keeping secrets has been described as an attribute of betrayal, while leaving out important facts can lead to further deception or mistrust.
According to researches, being open with your partner will promote trust and bond because it is believed that relationships are damaged by lies which makes couples grow apart.
Honesty is always the best policy, and most of us have a moral code that tells us that keeping secrets is akin to lying.
For most people, being dishonest is only acceptable when in dire straits, like trying to save someone’s life or survive a disaster.
Keeping major secrets is a form of deceit. The more time that passes, the harder it is to tell the truth.
Being deceitful breeds mistrust and once a person loses trust, it is hard to regain especially for those who have been betrayed by a parent, former romantic partner, or spouse.
The truth is that it is hard to feel emotionally connected to someone when you catch them in a lie or find out that they have kept a secret from you.
Trust is much more than catching your partner in a truth or lie. It is about believing that he or she truly has your best interests at heart. Mistrust is a lingering feeling at the back of your mind that your partner does not truly love you or may abandon you. Trust is about walking the talk. Your partner may tell you he or she loves you, but does his or her actions support that?
At times when people are not feeling safe enough in a relationship to be honest and open with their partner, it’s because they do not believe that their partner truly loves them or they are over protective of their own interests.
Therefore, there is a fundamental principle for making relationships work which serves as an antidote to unfaithfulness, that principle is trust
Keeping a secret from one’s partner could cause anxiety, depression, and problems in a relationship, researches established it that keeping secrets is associated with worse health and a lowered sense of well-being.
Even though you have the right to privacy in any relationship, but all secrets, big or small have a profound effect on you and your marriage .
However, there are some things that you might want to keep private because you find them embarrassing or regretful. Also, some things you can keep private because your partner just would not want to know.
While the choice is up to you, it is always a good idea to weigh the cons before sharing something awkward, surprising, or private from your past, but you must proceed knowing that the information is necessary to share. If you feels like the information is crucial to the health of your relationship, go ahead and spill the beans no matter how awkward it seems.
Be real, there are things you and your partner can do to make things work better if you both know.
Being open about any concerns can keep you both on the same page, though it may be a little uncomfortable to talk about. But since it impacts both of you then, it is an important information to share in order for your relationship to be life-long.

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