By Maria Famakinwa
Love language is a unique way of showing affection to one’s spouse. It simply refers to the way a person prefers to express love and receive it from his/her spouse.
Knowing your partner’s love language and letting them know yours is a way to help both of you feel loved, appreciated and strengthen your relationship. It is also believed that knowing your partner’s love language can be the most important thing to solve any marital problem.
As good as love language can help a relationship grow, it is however unfortunate that some couples neglect this crucial aspect of their union while those who understand the secret shared with The Hope how their knowledge about love languages have been serving as tools to unlock their spouses’ hearts.
To a civil servant, Mr Damilola Oke, his love language is gift. He said that he cherish gifts especially from his wife no matter how small. According to him, it takes a woman with special love to buy her husband a gift when it is not the man’s birthday. He hinted that giving one’s spouse a gift aside his/her special day convey unconditional love that words could not explain.
He said: “My love language is gift. Gift-giving indicates love and affection. My wife understands this and always hide under it to win my heart. I treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it. People like me who enjoy receiving gifts as part of their primary love language do not necessarily expect large or expensive presents, it’s more the effort and thoughtfulness behind the gift that count. When you take the time to get a gift specifically for me, it tells me that I occupy a special place in the person’s heart. People with this love language often remember every little gift they have received from their loved ones because it makes such an impact on them.”
A trader, Mrs Opeyemi Aluko, who described herself as the possessive type revealed that her love language is spending quality time with her husband. “My love language is for my husband to spend quality time with me. Honestly, I feel neglected and rejected if my husband is always checking his phone instead of creating enough time for me. My love’s style crave for attention and I cannot do anything to change the way nature has made me. My type of love wants undivided attention. I feel loved if my man is present and focused on me when we are together. This means putting down the cell phone, tuning off the computer, making eye contact and actively listening. I married so that I will not be lonely, Besides, one of the reasons for marriage is companionship though, my man is trying but not there yet because he still spend more time with his phone than me but promised to adjust.”
An artisan, Mr Kenny Kasali, said that his love language is trust. According to him, the relationship between trust and love is a close one. Trust is the foundation for any relationship. Without it, the relationship will be shaky and will eventually fail. Lack of trust is the main reason relationships fall apart. “Once my wife can earn my trust, peace is assured.”
Another love language I cannot joke with is sexual satisfaction. For trust to work between couples, they must be able to meet each other’s sexual demand. I hate the idea of either of the spouse giving untenable excuse. “Women mostly are found of giving excuses of being tired when it comes to their primary marital responsibility. One now begin to wonder if it is load they want to carry. Trust will fail if a man is not being fed sexually. Thank God that the two dominant religions stress this as well.”
In the submission of a trader, Mrs Adunni Esan, opined that her love language is care. She added that it has been the key her husband is using to win her heart. “Every woman no matter what cherish a man who is caring. There is nothing you cannot get from a woman if she knows that you care for her. When a man shows that he cares, it speaks volume than anything. Forgot money, if a man is rich and not caring, his wife cannot enjoy him.
“Show me a woman that you care for and see how she will reciprocate. Every wife wants her husband going extra mile to demonstrate love. If you care for me, you will not want to hurt me. Don’t tell me you love me, let your action speak. Wives notice and appreciate little things you do for them.”
A teacher, Mrs. Blessing Adejumoke, said that her love language is attending functions with her husband. “I don’t share the idea of either of the spouse going to social function without the other. It tells people if the home is united or not especially when the marriage is still very young. All these we are taking for granted matter a lot to strengthen the bond between husband and wife. Men especially don’t like going to functions with their wives but their concubines. There are some men whose wives cannot go to their offices without first getting permission from their husbands. Cases like this had led to broken homes. ‘When you are not proud of me, why did you marry me? they would ask. I once experienced this before my husband changed after I reported him. Going to functions with your spouse shows that you love him/her.”
A commercial driver, Mr Julius Ibe, revealed that his love language is respect. He added that if a woman gives him everything, it amounts to without respect is nothing. “I am easily pissed off with a woman who is disrespectful. I married my wife because she is respectful. There is nothing like equality between a husband and wife in a marriage. This need to be understood to guard against disagreement at home. The man is the head and so be it. Respecting your husband is the essence of a beautiful wife. Respectful wife is pride of her husband and joy of the children because she will live her days in peace. A woman without respect cannot win my love even though she strips before me.
“A man’s ego is being deflated when his wife fail to accord him the due respect. Even though I also love sex and food but respect remains my cherished love language. If a wife respect her husband, she will become his best friend, and when your wife is your best friend, she can do anything and get away with it. Sincerely speaking, there is nothing that bond couples together more than having a submissive and respectful wife. Such a wife hardly argue with her husband even though she is right. She will never question your authority as the head but addresses the husband with humility. This is the secret that is keeping many couples together. A respectful wife is a gift to any man,” he added.
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