Love or commitment, which is more important?
By Itunu Oloyede
Some believe that love conquers all and that as long as you share that feeling with someone, it means that the relationship would last.
In reality, love is the only one of the many ingredients needed for a long-lasting relationship, but the issue is that people usually put in so much to make someone feel loved, a feeling that inevitably change.
Partnership is not just about the emotions and feelings of love, it is about commitment, and being responsive to that commitment regardless of what the external variables are. It is about the commitment of choosing decisions that will save the relationship.
The truth is ,commitment is such a difficult term to define. However, commitment could be an engagement, to be married as well as setting a date for the wedding but today, things are much different. We now have phrases like “friends with benefits”.
However, commitment means much more than just being exclusive but also being faithful, dedicated and supportive to your partner. Commitment is about feelings, thoughts and most importantly action.
The question now is; when there is storm, when disaster barges in, can you depend on love at that point? Here is where your salt is tested. Love fades away with the current love becomes hatred, passion becomes disgust but one thing that plants its feet and stands rooted is commitment which will guide you through thick and thin, commitment is a conscious choice you make and it is something you have total control over.
Married or not married, when you decided to enter into a relationship with someone, commitment means you act with integrity, respect, and care.
Actually, love is not what makes you decide to show your desires when someone attractive start showing you attention. Love is not what makes you treat each other with kindness, respect, empathy and dignity, no, it is not love but commitment not just to the other person, but to yourself.
Relationship is difficult to nurture and maintain if there is no strong commitment.
To this end, Feminine Line went to the town to interview some people and they shared their views on the topic.
According to a marriage counsellor, Mrs. Grace Olatunbosun, one of the fundamental cornerstones of a successful relationship is commitment. which is to give the relationship your complete attention and effort so as for it to be a life-long one.
“whatever positive energy it requires to make the partnership the best it can be, will be to your advantage and that of the one you love. Commitment enhances our relationship because it directs how we feel about our partners and how we treat them. With commitment, partners tend to work hard to keep their relationship on solid ground. Therefore, commitment is more important than love in a relationship”,she maintained.
A nurse, Mrs Lola Adebayo noted that “Commitment is more important than love in a relationship. For instance, you come home after a long day and whatever your partner does annoys you but you choose not to act out and you remain patient, love does that, but commitment does it better. When everything is alright through commitment then love triumph,”
To a fashion designer, Miss Ejiro Ogidiagba,“Love is more important than commitment in a relationship but nevertheless, commitment without love is just like forcing yourself to do what you do not want to do. When there is love, commitment will come naturally, you will be transparent, love gives you reasons to be in a relationship not commitment”.
On her own, Miss Courage Babatunde opined that ,God is love and love is one of the fruits of the Holy spirit. A relationship without God will definitely fail. Even in the bible the greatest commandment is love. Love is more important in a relationship than commitment, if their is no love you cannot be committed”.
Itunu Oloyede, an intern with The Hope is a student of the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN).