Maintaining marital bliss during pregnancy
By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
Pregnancy hormones can make women feel a mix of emotional highs and lows which can make many them feel vulnerable or anxious. Some may also have trouble coping with their symptoms or even have complications during their pregnancy which can cause extra stress.
Pregnancy can change your relationship with your spouse. While Some men can cope with these changes ,some find it difficult to cope with .
Preparing to be responsible for a human life is enough to handle. When there are problems, it must be addressed immediately, situations are not always ideal. Those who are expecting a child have no idea of what to do. They put the pregnancy at the top of their list and try to avoid problems like plague. While this is understandable, there must be a way to handle these issues so that it would not affect your marriage .
Taking a passive approach to marital issues will only hurt the relationship, leaving problems to fester and grow. Marital problems have to be avoided because, once the baby arrives, the focus should be on being amazing parents and at the same time maintaining a happy marriage.
There are lots of marital problems that arises during pregnancy. Some of the most common problems are lack of communication, distance, intimacy troubles, dress sense, and cleanliness.
These are some of the relationship stressors during pregnancies.
Lack of communication happens gradually and many couples do not even realize it is happening. This problem is common during pregnancies because there is a lot to think about at that time. It is easy for expectant parents to feel overwhelmed and stressed.
However, communication breakdown is gradual. Spouses may notice more argument than usual ,not being on the same page as often, more tension in the household and the flow is not just the same. These happens when spouses fail to address the little problems and allow frustrations, misunderstandings, questions and unresolved issues to persist over time.
Fixing communication problem requires time, understanding and support. When you notice that something is not right just ask. A simple question from him that “Honey, what is wrong?” It can lead to new insight. Otherwise, you will never really know. Devote time to identify what is not working and talk about it, this is where understanding and support comes in. There is no better time than during pregnancy to become more understanding and supportive.
Also, distance is one of the marital problems during pregnancy. It is often caused by one or two things and the culprits are lack of communication and failure to meet each others needs. Failure to communicate effectively causes distance by adding fuel to the fire.
As long as the fulfillment, emotional, intellectual and physical needs are not met, partners will start to drift. Learning how to fulfill your partner’s needs again will add supports to your relationship bridge.
In this technical age, couples tend to put less effort into doing sweet things for one another. You must make your partner a priority and verbally expressing your love on a regular basis.
In addition, whether you are expecting a child or you are getting old, be more affectionate and go out of your ways to do something nice just because you are still in love with your spouse.
Moreover, physical intimacy is also on the list of marital problems during pregnancy. Likely causes include existing tension between spouses as well as feeling undesirable and in some cases, fear. We all know that intimacy fade away when communication is compromised and couples are distanced.
Pregnancy can lead to fear and insecurity. As a woman when body changes and tummy grows, she start to feel undesirable. Men may also avoid intimacy due to fear of hurting the baby, all reasons are understandable but couples must maintain the passion. Sex is the major reason couples stay physically and emotionally connected.
However, women struggling with adjusting to their new bodies should work with their husbands to maintain their sexual activity . Husbands can also be a huge help by vocally and physically expressing their desire. If fear of hurting the baby is the cause of your intimacy troubles, talk to your doctor, a doctor can address any concerns from a medical standpoint and provide advice for safe pregnancy while having fun . Intimacy should not be compromised due to pregnancy.
Also, dress sense is the ability to choose clothes that make you look attractive. Due to the fact that some women are pregnant, they stop dressing nicely, in fact some women love tying wrapper during pregnancy and this act make husbands get irritated at their wives. Pregnancy does not stop you as a woman from dressing nicely and decently at home and while away from home.
Though you are not going out for an occasion, learn to package yourself at home. Go for maternal gown shopping, it will look good on you and makes you look beautiful.
Lastly, people do say cleanliness leads to godliness. Cleanliness is the practice of keeping oneself and environment clean. Pregnancy does not make you to have a low standard of cleanliness, some woman are so lazy to bath or wash their underwears , Let alone their clothes. In fact, some pregnant women can be so dirty with their pregnancy symptoms especially spitting saliva everywhere. This irritates husbands and can piss them off from staying at home as usual.
Marital problems during pregnancy really have bad effect hence, women must work hard to maintain healthy relationship during this period.
Oleyede, an intern with The Hope is a student of National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN)