By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
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The way a woman behaves at home has a lot to do with the way she is regarded and treated by her spouse. Your spouse could overlook what other people do, but your actions especially in issues relating to him and your parent is very important to your spouse.
It is just human for your spouse to be more sensitive to your actions than others. All the things you do and decisions you make have great influence on him.
Everyone knows the importance of parents, but when it comes to setting priority between your spouse and parents ,make your spouse your top priority.
It is normal to always want to please your parents since you have known them all your life ,but you must control this habit and doing this will do you some good.
It was your decision to marry your spouse so you should be prepared to place him in the right place.
Some people find it easy to be sensitive to the needs of their parents than those of their partners, this should not be so. While some people have reduced their spouses to nothing before their parents that such parents no longer have regard for them.
It does not matter how young or poor your spouse may be, he deserves to be respected, if not by anyone, must be by you. Some women always tell their parents all that goes on in their families , I wonder what they want to achieve ,respect or self-pity? It is better to keep your family issues within the family.
You have the power to influence your spouse whether positively or negatively. Do not under estimate the level of influence you have on him.
Even if your spouse behaves as if he is immune to your actions or care-less, do not over do things and take your spouse for granted. Placing your parents before your spouse is one way of taking him for granted. So set your priority right.
Some families have suffered greatly because the couples do not know how to deal with issues between the spouse and the parents. When there is conflict among these people, please for no reason must you take sides, particularly with your parents.
When there is clash of interest between your parents and your spouse, endeavour to give top priority to your spouse, because your parents will understand you better, rather than allowing your marriage to suffer for it.
In the opinion of most men, wives placing their interest above that of the parents is loyalty. This should be vice versa. When you choose to become a loyal husband or wife, you will have a stronger marriage and a more matured relationship with your parents.
You have probably heard the phrase ‘leave and cleave’. This is an important ingredient for a successful marriage. Most of us agreed that the ‘cleaving’ part is easier and pleasurable, but the process of ‘leaving’ often presents a challenge and if caution is not taken, it can cause a big problem for the couples.
Becoming truly independent from one’s parents is one of the best gifts we can give to our spouse. No one wants to be married to a person that is still controlled by the parent. That does not mean you should cut contact with your parents. It just means that pleasing your spouse should take priority over pleasing your parents.
Whenever your parents have a decision to make that will affect your spouse, the family and take your time, consider your spouse. Do not allow your parents to put pressure on you to do something without first checking the implication on your spouse . Decisions can wait till you have agreed with him .If it is urgent, find a place to call your spouse for his opinion.
Let your parents know that now that you are married , you make joint decisions with your spouse and you will see that this will help your marriage and strengthen your relationship with your parents.