By Maria Famakinwa

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From time immemorial, the survival of any marriage has not been complete without money and sex. The roles they play in sustaining a marriage cannot be overemphasised. Many marriages that were once flourishing and enjoyable are on the brink of collapse because they are lacking in either of these.

Different opinions were offered when Weekend Hope spoke with some married men and women about which is more important between money and sex in a marriage. Those who claimed that the former is more important averred that money answers all things, without which the marriage is empty, while those who believe that sex is more important argued that it is the only way to strengthen a marriage.

In the submission of a school teacher, Mrs Funbi Omolere, she explained that sex remains a vital tool in sustaining a marriage, without which the union will fail.

“When joining couples together, nobody will ask if the husband or wife is rich, but their ability to accept and submit to one another in love, with the underlying message being sex. You should understand that most marriages are breaking up today, because the husbands, especially, are not sexually satisfied,” she said.

Sharing a similar sentiment, a public servant, Mr  Eniafe Oladayo, who also placed sex in marriage above money, revealed that when a man is sexually satisfied, he will be able to think clearly and bring money home.

“Sex to men is food and medicine. Men lack ideas when they are sexually starved, but are energetic when they engage in regular sex. It is an exercise that helps them think right about the next achievable ideas.

“If money is truly more important in a marriage than sex, then it is only the rich who will have successful marriages. But in Nigeria today, it is the poor who have more stable homes, further proving that sex comes first in any relationship, not money,” he submitted.

Speaking differently, a banker, who simply gave her name as Gift, hinted that the success of any marriage depends on the financial capability of the man.

She said: “The Bible even affirms that money answers all things. We should stop pretending that marriage can survive without money. Can a hungry woman think of having sex? Even a hungry man cannot be aroused sexually. You can only think of sex when your stomach is full. Love can only be expressed sweeter and easier when you are not hungry.

“What many ladies refer to as marriage now is the ability to marry men who can care for them. A home that is still standing survives because the man is not lacking in his financial responsibility. When women fight ladies who date their husbands, it is because the husbands are financially secure.

“Most women cannot endure men who cannot meet the basic needs of the family. If a lady takes a man to her parents as her intended husband, the first question will be: What is the man doing for a living, not how often can he make love? Many homes have broken down because the husbands lost their jobs. Ask rich men who care for their families, and they will tell you that their wives pursue them for sex.”

Also supporting the view that money is more important in a marriage than sex, a businessman, Mr. Wole Ayodele, who described money as the lifeblood of any home, opined that food comes first before thinking of what to do.

According to him, “As a businessman, I dare not go home asking my wife for sex when there is no food at home. It is just painful that most women pretend a lot on issues like this. From my personal experience, my wife quarrels most with me whenever I do not have much to contribute to the home upkeep. But when I bring money home, you will ask if she was not the same woman fighting me when I had nothing to contribute to the home upkeep.

“You can only talk about sex when your woman is happy with you, and women can only be happy when you are not lacking in your financial responsibilities. I cannot ask my wife for sex when she is hungry. In fact, as a man, I do not think of sex when I am hungry. Show me a man who comes home hungry and demands sex. This points to the obvious: money is more important in a marriage than sex.”

A marriage counselor, Mr. Gbenga Ajisafe, revealed that both money and sex are important. But he advised husbands to always prioritise the basic needs of their families.

His words: “Although both money and sex are important in a marriage, the man should always think of how to provide for his immediate family first, because when this is done, the urge for sex will come naturally.

“There is no way a woman can be happy in a marriage when the husband cannot provide for her needs and those of her children. At the same time, it is expected of a woman to assist the husband financially if she is in a position to do so, instead of depending on the husband for everything. In a marriage where there is cooperation between husband and wife, issues regarding money and sex cannot pose a challenge, but will help to strengthen the union.”