Money, sex, which is more important in marriage?

By Maria Famakinwa
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From time immemorial, the survival of any marriage is not complete without money and sex. The roles they play in sustaining a marriage cannot be over emphasized. Many marriages that were once flourishing and enjoyable are on the brink of collapse because they are lacking either of these.

Different opinions were canvassed when The Hope spoke with some married men and women on which is more important between money and sex in a marriage. Those who claimed that the former is more important in a marriage averred that money answer all things without which the marriage is empty, while those who believe that sex is more important argued that it is the only way to strengthen a marriage.

In the submission of a school teacher, Mrs Omolere Funbi, she explained that sex remains a vital tool at sustaining a marriage without which the marriage will fail. ” When joining couples together, nobody will ask if the husband or wife is rich, but their ability to accept and submit to one another in love which the undertone message is sex. You should understand that most marriages are breaking up today because the husbands especially, are not sexually satisfied,” she said.

Sharing similar sentiment, a public servant, Mr Eniafe Oladayo, who also placed sex in marriage above money revealed that when a man is sexually satisfied, he will be able to think right to bring money home. ”Sex to men is food and medicine. Men lack ideas when they are  sexually starved, but are energetic when they involve in regular sex. It is an exercise that helps them think right about the next achievable ideas.

“If truly money is more important in a marriage than sex, then, it is only the rich that will be successful in their marriage. But in Nigeria of today, it is the poor that have more stable homes to further prove that sex comes first in any relationship and not money,” he said.

Speaking differently, a banker, who simply gave her name as Gift, hinted that the success of any marriage depend on the financial capability of the man. ”The Bible even affirmed that money answereth all things. We should stop pretending, no marriage can survive without money. Can a woman who is hungry think of having sex? Even an hungry man cannot be aroused sexually. You can only think of sex when the stomach is full. Love can only be expressed sweeter and easier when you are not hungry.

“What many ladies refer to as marriage now is the ability to marry men who will be able to care for them. A home that is still standing survives because the man is not lacking in his financial responsibility. When women fight ladies who date their husbands, it is because the husbands are financially alright.

“Most women cannot endure with men who cannot meet basic needs of the families. If a lady takes a man to her parents as her intending husband, the first question will be what is the man doing for a living, not how often can he make love?  Many homes had broken down because the husbands lost their jobs. Ask rich men who care for their families, they will tell you that their wives run after them for sex.”

Also, supporting the view that money is more important in a marriage than sex, a businessman, Mr Wole Ayodele, who described money as the life wire of any home opined that what to eat comes first before thinking of what to do. According to him, “As a businessman, I dare not go home asking my wife for sex when there is no food at home. It is just painful that most women pretend a lot on issues like this. From my personal experience, my wife quarrels most with me whenever I do not have much to drop for the home up-keep, but when I am bringing money home, you will be asking if she was not the same woman fighting me when I had nothing to drop for the home up keep.

“You can only talk of sex when your woman is happy with you, and women can only be happy when you are not lacking in your financial responsibility. I cannot ask my wife for sex when she is hungry. In fact, as a man, I do not think of sex when I am hungry. Tell me a man who is coming home hungry and will demand for sex. This is to point to the obvious that money is more important in a marriage than sex.”

A marriage counselor, Mr Gbenga Ajisafe, revealed that both money and sex are important, but advised husbands to always prioritise the basic needs of their families. His words: “In as much as money and sex are important in a marriage, the man should always think of how to provide for his immediate family first before anything else because when this is done, the urge for sex will come naturally.

“There is no way a woman can be happy in a marriage when the husband cannot provide for her needs and that of her children. At the same time, it is expected of a woman to assist the husband financially if she is in a position to do so instead of depending on the husband for everything. In a marriage where there is cooperation between husband and wife, issues regarding money and sex cannot pose any challenge but will help to strengthen the union.”