By Sunmola Olowookere

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“Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from Mount Gilead. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David built for an armory, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies. Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.”

The greatest lover of women, King Solomon sang the following in one of his songs. He loves women, no doubt. His songs are erotic and passionate especially when it comes to the wonder of the female structure. some students of the Bible wonder why the compilers of the book chose to include them in the Holy Scriptures as it often scandalized many Bible scholars. This makes the book one of the least talked about on the pulpit.

Solomon’s love for the female folk is evident in the above tender musings. Bible account tells us that he had a thousand specimens of this species.

He saw them as defenseless and creatures that were meant to be protected. His writing is resplendent of the gracious and delicate mien of the woman.

Perchance, if he were to be privileged to stir in his resting place and see what his beloved ” dove eyes and scarlet lips creature” had metamorphosed into, he might have been shocked into turning in his grave. More Nigerian women are becoming aggressive, violent, and murderous by the day.

Last month, a woman, Farida Abubakar, was sentenced to death by hanging by a High Court in Birnin Kebbi for the murder of her former husband, Chief Magistrate Attahiru Muhammad-Ibrahim.

The prosecution detailed how she fearlessly attacked and fatally stabbed her husband, a Chief Magistrate, no less in the abdomen, neck, and left arm.

In delivering the judgment, Chief Judge Justice Umar Abubakar emphasized the compelling evidence linking her to the crime saying that she was the last person seen with the deceased and her hijab was found smeared with blood.

The court concluded that she mercilessly planned the attack with the intent to cause death, especially as the deceased was about to marry another woman. She was found guilty of culpable homicide and bodily harm, leading to her death sentence by hanging and a seven-year prison term.

In another case also in the northern part of the country, a newlywed woman, Habiba Ibrahim, reportedly cut the manhood of her 40-year-old husband, Salisu Idris, while he was asleep and was said to have been arrested by the police.

The victim, Idris, a commercial motorcycle rider and resident of Kudan in Kaduna State, said the incident happened on May 26 after he returned from the early morning prayers. He was lying on his bed to have some rest when his wife suddenly jumped on him with a sharp knife and almost cut off his manhood, but neighbours came to his rescue when they heard him shout.

Idris said they got married about four months ago, adding that he could not fathom the reason for her action because they loved each other and there was no prior misunderstanding before the attack

Report has it that Idris was rushed to a hospital in Kudan from where he was referred to the General Hospital Makarfi. He was later taken to the Ahmadu Bello University Teaching Hospital, Zaria where doctors battled to save his life.

“At the moment, I am more concerned about my condition. I am afraid of remarrying because of this incident,” he said. His mother, Rabi Salisu, who looked after him on the hospital bed, said though they were not staying in the same compound, he had never complained to her about his wife.

The above accounts are all the more alarming because it is coming from a part of Nigeria where women are suppressed and the notion that women are only to be seen and not heard is more in practice especially as the predominant religion in the part also encourages it. Also, the women of this tribe are trained to be docile, gentle, quiet, unassuming, and take whatever is thrown at them with stoic quietness and without emotions. Part of it is the tacit acceptance of co-wives if the husband is so inclined.

However, it is pertinent to note that such cases are not only peculiar to the northern part of Nigeria, there have been cases of wives attacking and even killing their husbands in a fit of rage and jealousy. Fits of rage and jealousy coupled with violence are in the purview of men. It is alien to feminine nature and strange to the ears.

What is happening to the women folk? Why would a woman mortally attack a man she professed to love? Even if love is lost, whatever happens to self-dignity and self-preservation? In the case of Farida in Birnin-kebbi who dared to attack a Chief Magistrate, because he was planning to take on a second wife, did she think she would be allowed to go scot-free because of her “aged parents and little children”?

As cases of love violence increase in society, men and women alike need to be on their guard to safeguard their lives. It is also pertinent to note that women too have been victims on numerous occasions, however, men are coming under a barrage of murderous attacks in recent times.

Recently, the Lagos State Government shocked Nigerians when it disclosed that at least 340 husbands have been beaten by their wives in the last year.

The Executive Secretary, of Lagos Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA), Mrs. Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi, disclosed this and said the incidence of reporting of domestic violence from males also increased during the last year.

Vivour-Adeniyi disclosed that 340 male reported incidences of domestic violence perpetrated against them by their wives between September 2022 and July 2023 while she expressed worries over the trend, saying the agency “is currently handling the cases to find an amicable resolution”.

Nigeria is a country that has seen dramatic revolutions in the last few decades and it is also not new that many women suffer domestic violence and abuse from men a lot. While some women think it’s a norm, others have kicked against it and some are rebelling that it is not the norm to be abused by their husbands. While some women have taken legal measures to put an end to such abuse, others have become violent and murderous.

Reacting to the trend of couples taking each other’s lives, a Pastor and also a marriage counselor based in Akure, Emmanuel Ajelola explained that couples killing themselves is an anomaly that has been witnessed in marriages and is currently becoming rampant in Nigeria, whereas it should be a union whereby couples are expected to show love to one another.

“How can two people who professed to love one another, now be at each other’s throats? These are strange times indeed. It is the devil that has possessed those women and made them murderers. Remember it was the woman, Eve who was also possessed by the devil in the shape of a serpent in the Garden of Eden. Couples need to be guided against giving a chance to the devil in their homes”. He warned.

He stated that couples that are fighting consistently may eventually kill each other one day if they do not watch It. He advised couples to seek counseling during such periods of turbulence to guard against giving reins to deadly emotions that could destroy their lives.

A relationship expert, Augustina Okoro warned people to always look out for red flags in their partners such as unforgiving spirit, turbulent emotions, uncontrollable jealousy, excessive possessiveness, veiled threats, and constant bursts of violence, she warned that these might give rise to attacks that could turn out to be deadly on the victim.

She said that the red flags are usually in such relationships if only the victims had been observant enough. Okoro urged couples to always show love to one another and also go for therapy whenever they are going through any crises in their relationships

Research conducted by a Nigerian newspaper, between January 2021 and March 2022 revealed that 14 men were killed by their wives. Apart from cases of infidelity, the current economic downturn may account for some of the attacks on the male folk.

According to internet research, 12% of all homicides in the United States are committed by women (Browne & Williams, 1989; Jones, 1981), and the majority of these women kill their abusive and violent partners.

The woman who has killed her partner is now a criminal defendant, which adds a very complicated dimension to her plight. The battered woman who kills her assaulter is additionally handicapped by a legal system that lacks consensus concerning the proper legal response to her case.

Maguigan, a psychologist estimated that there are about 750 men killed each year in the United States by wives, girlfriends, and lovers, and argues that the female homicide defendant is almost always a battered woman. “When a battered woman becomes a defendant in a criminal case it becomes crucial for the introduction of psychological information about the dynamics of her circumstances to be presented in a court of law so that her actions can be understood by those judging her behavior. Nurses, particularly psychiatric nurses, may be in critical positions as expert witnesses, therapists, and crisis counselors to assist the battered woman and her legal representative in developing a comprehensive understanding of her response to her violent partner. “