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Friday, December 2, 2022

Pains of lovers jilted at the altar

By Maria Famakinwa

Miss Olamide Opoola (not real names) was very happy to introduce her fiance to her parents after being jilted twice in her previous relationships. The 33-year-old fashion designer was very happy when her parents gave their consent to the. Her fiance, Idowu, a 36-year-old graduate of Biology Education also got his parents approval to marry Olamide after their five years old courtship.

Both families agreed and a date for formal introduction was fixed in Abeokuta, Ogun State where Olamide’s parents reside. Four days to the introduction, Olamide left Ibadan for Abeokuta to prepare ahead of the day. Some family members were also invited from Lagos, Ekiti and Osun states to grace the ceremony. Everything needed was provided to make the day a success.

At last, the D-day came with canopies and chairs set to welcome Idowu’s family for the expected introduction.

A mild panic set in when the event slated for 11 am was yet to commence by 1pm. Several calls put across to Idowu’s mobile phone was not going through. The service provider intoned that his mobile phone was switched off. His parents’ lines were also off.

 Olamide then decided to call some of Idowu’s friends mobile numbers. She became suspicious of something sinister when their lines were also not going through. The truth dawned on her when one of Idowu’s friends called her and disclosed to her that Idowu said he was not interested in the introduction again.

Olamide who betrayed emotion while speaking with The Hope said : “It was as if the world crashed on me. The food we cooked was later shared in the neighborhood as many of them cursed Idowu that he would never experience celebration again. I later found out that he disappointed me because I am not a graduate.”

Olamide is not the only one going about with wounded heart. Other jilted lovers narrated their bitter tales to The Hope. One of these is a painful story of a jilted Ayodeji, who met Yemisi in his work place as a receptionist.

 Ayodeji, who was employed in the same office with Yemisi as a fresh graduate took interest in the 20-year-old Yemisi, a school certificate holder.

His words: “As soon as I set my eyes on her, I have feelings for her. I asked her why she did not further her education three years after making her WAEC result. She told me that her parents could not afford to sponsor her education due to paucity of funds. I made my intention known to her and promised to sponsor her university education. She agreed and I met with her parents and assured them that I would wait for her. They were happy and described me as a God sent.

“After getting salary for six months, I asked Yemisi to resign which she did. I obtained JAMB form for her and registered her in a coaching class. Being a brilliant lady, she made her JAMB and got admission to study Businesses Administration in Lagos State University. Things went on fine with our relationship and her parents said that I was not a son-in-law but a son-in-love. The story however changed when Yemisi finished her degree programme and got posted to Kaduna State for one year compulsory Youth Service.  I never heard anything from her and her parents again. She changed her line and her parents’ mobile lines. I went to their house but was told that they have packed out. That was how she disappointed me. Thank God that i have gotten a better job and moved on,” he said.

Also Lewa Ibrahim, a worker with a microfinance bank, counted her losses while wondering where things went wrong. Glued to Gbenga in love for nine eventful years, their relationship was one that held plenty of promises.

First meeting as young undergraduates at the Federal University of Technology Akure, Ondo State, the two soon took their friendship to a new levels. Their families knew and had no issues with their romance. But the feeling the lady had for the guy was far stronger. She showed it in more than a few ways.

Narrating her painful experience, Ibrahim said: “As the only child of my parents,  even when my mum warned me about how I spent my money on Gbenga, she would still  buy two sets of foodstuff for me so that I could share with Gbenga just to make me happy. I used to buy gifts for his parents each time I visited them in Owo. I loved them like my own and always wanted to see them happy.

“Gbenga graduated from FUTA as a computer scientist and needed a job so that we could plan our wedding since I would be graduating a year after. I spoke to an uncle of mine in Lagos about getting Gbenga fixed up in a good company which he did under seven months. Gbenga secure a job in a research company in Lagos State . The company pays well and also sponsor staff abroad for further training. We were planning to have our wedding in 2012 after the introduction in December  2011 when Gbenga was shortlisted among the staff to travel abroad for training due to my uncle’s influence. He left June 2012 and that was the last time I heard from him. He did not return to Nigeria since then. Though, his parents claimed not to support him but I am aware that he is married in America. I live him for God to judge,” she said with teary eyes.

Speaking on the way forward, a marriage counselor Mrs Omolola Junaid, advised jilted lovers to always put the past behind them and stressed that nothing is worth dying for no matter the level of pain and agony.

She said: “Nothing is new again. Just last year in Osogbo, a lady refused to show up on her wedding day. She claimed to be kidnapped before we discovered that her parents wanted her to marry a man who just came from London even after the wedding day had been fixed. The groom collapsed when it was evident that the lady would not show up and the ceremony was cancelled.

 “The pains, trauma, and agony one suffers emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally as a result of being jilted because of love cannot be quantified. Therefore, when one is jilted, one becomes traumatized mentally; the heart seems shattered into a million pieces and it hurts; and all the organs in one’s body begin to malfunction.  This is why it is advised that one shouldn’t make decisions when the heart is very troubled. No matter the intensity of the pains felt, take heart, don’t allow it to overwhelm you to the extent of you getting depressed and giving up on life,” she warned.

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