By Maria Famakinwa
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In the past, parents meant a lot to children, especially in an African setting. They meant everything to their children; they were their providers, mentors and protectors. Then, a child could not afford to look directly into the eyes of his father or mother but revered them. Parents then were cherished, honoured and accorded due respect.
Sadly, it is no longer the same nowadays. It is quite a pity that most children these days don’t have an emotional attachment, empathy or love for their parents to the extent that very few give a second thought before harming them.
From birth, children rely on parents to provide them with the care they need. They equip them with the skills and resources to succeed as adults and transmit basic cultural values to them. They provide the most intimate context for the nurturing and protection of children as they develop their personalities and identities as they mature physically, cognitively, emotionally and socially. Despite this undiluted love and care parents shower on their children, today’s modernity has corrupted that affinity to the extent that children can sacrifice their parents for anything.
This is basically why we are witnessing cases of children attacking their parents at the slightest provocation. February last year, a 26-year-old Garba Abubakar from Akko LGA of Gombe State was arrested by the State police for allegedly strangling his biological mother to death due to indiscriminate use of outlawed substances as reported.
Likewise, on March 3, 2022, a 31-year-old man, Nicodemus Ignatius, allegedly beat his 75-year-old father to death in Adamawa State shortly after returning from a drinking bar. He was said to have been arrested sometime in November 2021 for threatening to kill his father before he was released after the septuagenarian pleaded on his behalf.
Last year September came two reported cases of children hacking their parents to death. 18-year-old Tope Momoh In Akure, Ondo State capital, was remanded in prison by the Chief Magistrate court after strangling his 53-year-old mother, Stella Momoh to death for calling him a bastard. Also 20-year-old Ekenedilichukwu Okeke was arrested in Anambra after strangling his step mother to death for refusing to disclose her ATM pin to him.
Another case was reported in Plateau state where a 25-year-old boy, Bernard Danlamin stone his father to death for flogging him over an issue he had with his brother. The list is endless. Those who spoke with The Hope disclosed some behaviours parents should look out for to prevent being victims of parental abuse.
A psychologist, Mrs Folasade Ayilola, blamed the rise in parental abuse on drugs. The woman who observed that substance use among teenagers has become a major social issue in recent years warned parents to be more observant and report any erring child to appropriate authorities.
Her words: “Drugs are freely sold in the open markets which affect the mental health of the children. Also, poverty contributes a lot to the general decay in the wellbeing of some children. They can do anything to make money in order to have a good life.
“My heart bleed anytime I listen to such disturbing news. It goes a long way to tell you how heartless this generation of children can be. They committed this heinous act under the influence of drugs. That is why it is advisable for parents to be interested in what their teenagers are doing. Once they suspect any strange behaviour in them, they should take urgent steps immediately if need be and report them to law enforcement agents because it is dangerous to cover up children acting under the influence of drugs for one’s safety,” she warned.
Sharing a similar view, a teacher, Mr Adedotun Adedipe, blamed the development on loss of moral values as he called for family cohesiveness and reorientation. He said: “The moral core values have been lost in today’s generation. We now have youths who want to be rich overnight without sweating for it. When I read the story of a 20-year old Okeke who strangled his step mother to death in Anambra State for refusing to tell him her ATM pin, I shook my head for this generation and the coming one if they continue this way.
“Everyone contributed to this evil development. I have heard of a situation where parents especially mothers sent their teenage girls to men for money and encourage their male children to join internet fraud. We get from the society what we planted in it. How many parents actually have time for their children? All we are particular about is how to make money at the expense of our future. Like I said earlier, the solution remains teaching our children about our core values. Let’s stop celebrating ill-gotten wealth as a society and make sure that anyone with questionable character is made to face the wrath of the law. This will go a long way to change the general mentality that you can get away with any wrong doing.”
According to a parent, Mr Samuel Famore, many children who are violent towards their parents are the results of poor upbringing. They are the over-pampered type whose parents hardly correct. They grew up believing that everything they needed must be provided. I have heard of a case of a father whose son shouted on him in public due to an argument. What would have happened if the man was alone with his son at home? Instead of reporting recalcitrant children to law enforcement agents, parents prefer to cover them up fearing the consequences until they become victims of abuse from their biological children.
“Aside poor upbringing, peer influence is another factor responsible for high cases of parental abuse. Once a child starts keeping bad company, definitely, he/she will be influenced. After all, evil communication corrupt good manners. Accepted, parenting in this age is tasking. That is why parents must wake up from their slumbers and accept their responsibilities.
” My late father didn’t believe that one’s child cannot be beaten at a particular age. When I got married and I had issues with my wife, she reported me to my dad and in her presence, my dad slapped me. I ran out to escape the second one. I was the first to call him a day after for forgiveness. This is the training we were given right from our childhood. Parents should train their children, be interested in the company they keep and be ready to hand over any disobedience to law enforcement agents. This to me is the best way to reduce parental abuse,” he said.
A Guidance and Counselling expert, Mrs Remilekun Adelodun, who blamed poor parental care for the rising cases of patricide in the country added that it is hard to believe that a normal rational person would kill his/ her parents.
Her words: “Most parents don’t have time for their children, which has affected their up-bringing. The children are left to choose which values to adopt and that lack of closeness to children has created a gap in the bond between children and parents.
“The resultant effect is a lack of love from the children to their parents, so with little provocation, the children can decide to kill or hurt their parents. A child who from his infancy is allowed to fend for himself, with little or no contribution from the parents, will not have that bond that should exist between a man and his son or a mother and her son. We need to correct this abnormality by putting things right in the family because the home is the child’s mirror to the society,”she said.
