By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
According to the Wikipedia, domestic violence also called domestic abuse or family violence is violence or other abuse by one person against another. In a setting such as marriage or cohabitation, domestic violence is among the most under reported crimes worldwide.
Many types of domestic violence exist; each with devastating effects on those involved, including mere witnessing the violence. These are characterized by pattern of dominance and control in an intimate relationship.
All types of domestic abuse occurs in every imaginable societal and cultural sector. Whether you are rich or poor, male or female, you or someone you know has likely been touched by the ripple effects of one of these types of domestic abuse.
If your relationship is characterized by a chronic struggle for power and control, it means that one of the many types of domestic abuse is at play. It is happening to victims without discrimination.
Speaking on this, an Akure based Guardian and Counsellor, Mrs Nike Agbotoba explained that there are four general types of domestic violence which include, Physical Domestic Violence. According to her, this is to intentionally used force to cause injury or harm. “Physical violence may involved using of weapon or the abuser may simply use his physique and strength to harm the victim . Examples of physical domestic abuse include: punching, whipping, biting, choking ,among others.
“Sexual Domestic Violence. this is an act of forcing an unwilling partner to engage in sex, sexual domestic violence includes forcefully having sex with someone who cannot refuse due to illness, disability, influence of drugs, or fear of retaliation. An abusive partner may force his victim to engage in sexual act that is offensive to her.
“Stalking and Threatening Domestic Violence. It means using words, weapons or simply an intimidating presence to threat , harm, injure, rape, or kill another person.
“Psychological and Emotional Domestic Violence is to verbally demeaning, humiliating, threatening or other coercive tactics that evoke emotional stress and trauma in the victim. These may include controlling the victim’s personal freedom of movement or choice of activities; publicly and privately humiliating the victim; denying victim access to money, resources, or important personal items and people they love. Withholding information or giving false information, for the purpose of causing psychological pain and suffering, all these constitute emotional abuse, “she stressed.
She explained that these types of domestic abuse have many shades and variations, carefully customised by the abuser to use in his insatiable quest for power and control.
The counsellor informed that If your partner has a pattern of behavior that makes you feel devalued or humiliated, it is a domestic violence, regardless of whether it seems to fit in one of the above four categories.
She maintained that domestic violence can happen to anyone, noting that sometimes it may started early in a relationship or can take months or years.
She advised couples to shun intimidation, possessiveness, and over jealous behaviors as it kills relationships.
She posited that couples must not make their partners feel guilty for all the problems in the relationship to avert arguments.
The counsellor opined that preventing wives from working or controlling all financial decisions is not healthy in a relationship.
Mrs Agbotoba stressed the need for couples to learn how to keep quite during a hot arguments and avoid intimidating their partners physically with weapons.
She emphasised that domestic violence victims, either male or female must reach out for help, noting that many victims do not speak out because of the insinuation that certain shame is associated with being abused by someone you love.
Also, multiple research shows that these types of domestic violence, if it continues in the family environment tend to worsen and escalated over time. Staying in an abusive environment not only causes devastating harm to the immediate victim but equally affects children who witnessed the abuse even if they never experienced it firsthand.
To this end, if you noticed that you are passing through one of these situation you must speak out for yourself and others whom you feel may be in an abusive situation. Most people underestimate the threat of domestic violence and do not recognise the warning and signs to avert it.