By Josephine Oguntoyinbo

Raising a child is much more than just ensuring that they grow physically; it is about nurturing their minds, guiding their hearts, and shaping their future.

In the fast-paced world we live in, parenting has often been reduced to a checklist; providing food, shelter, clothing, and education.  While these are fundamental, they alone do not create a well-rounded, emotionally secure, and responsible adult.

Growing a child is passive,it means meeting their basic needs and allowing nature to take its course. However, raising a child is intentional. It involves active participation, emotional investment, and conscious efforts to instil values, discipline, and life skills. Think of it as gardening. If you simply plant a seed and let nature take over, the plant may grow, but it will be at the mercy of weeds, pests, and the elements. However, if you nurture it, watering it, providing sunlight, removing weeds, and protecting it from harm, you ensure it grows strong, healthy, and productive.

Children learn not just from what we say, but from what we do. Parents who raise their children actively engage in teaching them about empathy, respect, responsibility, and perseverance.

v Spending quality time, listening to their thoughts, and addressing their emotional needs is key. Leading by example, modelling kindness, honesty, and discipline in everyday actions is essential.

v Parents must set boundaries. Discipline is not about punishment; it is about teaching self-control and accountability.  Without proper emotional and moral guidance, children may grow physically, but lack the resilience and wisdom needed to navigate life’s challenges.

v Building a strong foundation for the future is essential. When parents take an active role in raising their children, they equip them with critical life skills, including:

v Critical thinking and decision-making – teaching children to think for themselves and make wise choices.

v Communication and emotional intelligence – helping them express their feelings, resolve conflicts, and build meaningful relationships.

v Resilience and adaptability – preparing them to face setbacks with courage and perseverance.

Raising children requires patience, efforts, and love.  It is about shaping a person who will contribute positively to society, not just someone who exists within it. Parents must ask themselves: Am I truly raising my child, or am I just letting them grow?

Speaking with a Counsellor, Mrs Tola Akarakiri, she observed that as parents, we often get caught up in the daily routine of providing for our children’s basic needs, such as food, shelter, and education.

However, she noted that in doing so, we may forget the importance of truly raising them,teaching them values, morals, and life skills that will shape them into capable and compassionate individuals.

According to her, growing children is a natural process that happens with time, but raising them requires effort, dedication, and intention.  It is the difference between simply existing and truly living.  Merely growing children may result in a generation of individuals who lack purpose, direction, and emotional intelligence.  Such children may struggle with relationships, decision-making, and problem-solving, leading to a life of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, Mrs Akarakiri emphasised that when parents take the time to raise their children, they equip them with the tools they need to succeed in life.

“That implies teaching them the importance of hard work, resilience, and empathy, helping them develop into confident, capable, and compassionate individuals.

“Raising children requires active parental involvement. It means being present in their lives, engaging with them, and taking a genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

 “Raising children also involves teaching them essential life skills and values.  These include skills like communication, problem-solving, and time management, as well as values like honesty, kindness, and respect.  Parents can teach these skills and values through everyday interactions, such as sharing meals together, playing games, and engaging in activities.  By doing so, they help their children develop a strong moral compass and the ability to navigate life’s challenges, “she explained.

Raising children is a rewarding yet challenging journey that requires effort, dedication, and intention.  By being actively involved in our children’s lives, teaching them essential life skills and values, and modelling the behaviours we want them to adopt, we can help them grow into capable, compassionate, and confident individuals.

Let us make conscious efforts to raise our children, rather than just growing them.  Let us give them the tools they need to succeed in life and make a positive impact on the world around them.  The effort you put in today, will determine the person they become tomorrow.