By Mary Agidi

Just a few weeks ago, a 10-year old girl was allegedly sexually molested by her father, Adebowale Adegboye, and stepfather, Idowu Akinseye in Akure, the Ondo State capital. According to reports, the perpetrators of this heinous act committed the crime at different times when the girl was around them.

To worsen the situation, the 38-year old father of the girl was alleged to have procured abortion for her.

They were brought before a magistrate’s court sitting in Oke-Eda, Akure on a five count charge of incest, abortion and indecent assault, along with the medical doctor, Israel Oluwafemi who performed the evacuation of the pregnancy.

The Magistrate, Grace Alphonso, ordered the remand of the accused persons in the Olokuta Correctional facility pending legal advice from the Director of Public Prosecution (DPP), and adjourned the case to May 22, 2025, for hearing.

Damning conspiracy of silence by family members

Another instance of this also involved a 10-year old girl who was continuously defiled by a foreigner in Lagos popularly known as Uncle Cobus, who was said to be a philanthropist running a non-governmental organisation that focuses on children.

As reported by Securitynewsalert in mid April 2025, the case became public when one civil society organisation staged a protest against the DSS for allowing the foreigner to influence the department to intimidate the father of the victim.

“According to the child, her maternal aunt, identified as Anita, took her to the foreigner’s house twice and on the first day she saw about nine girls in her age bracket. Uncle Cobus later took her into a room, where he compelled her to play with his manhood.

“On the second occasion that she met with Uncle Cobus, he penetrated her.

“The petrified child told child protection groups and family members that she had told her mother, Bunmi, about the traumatising incidents, but her mom pleaded with her not to let her father, Stephen, know about this crime.

“Bunmi, who is estranged from Stephen, is squatting with her younger sister, Anita.

“The defilement of the child would have gone undetected but for a minor drama that played out at  Stephen’s home.

“Some time ago, Stephen and Bunmi had marital issues, leading to both seeking divorce and that the matter was already with the Lagos State Office of the Public Defender (OPD), where both parents had been squabbling over custody of the children.

“However, pending the verdict of the custody issue, the couple agreed that their two children would be staying with their dad, but they also go to her mom’s on some occasions, especially since Bunmi is yet to have an apartment of her own.

“One fateful day, visitors came calling at Stephen’s home, and among them was a boy-child.

“While the adults were busy chatting and catching up, Stephen’s daughter ferried the boy out of the adults’ presence, to a secluded part of the apartment, and touched his manhood.

“The boy would later tell his parents, which naturally caused gasps of shock and outrage. Stephen’s daughter was questioned on where she learned such behaviour.

“It was at that point she narrated how her Aunt Anita used to take her to Uncle Cobus with other children to play in his swimming room, and then he would sexually violate any of the children that tickled his fancy”.

Just like the aforementioned cases, many girls have suffered sexual abuse, silently, from close relatives. Some grow up with the trauma and later divulged the secret due to advocacy campaigns to encourage sharing of live experience as a way to motivate girls to speak up.

Activists urge victims of sexual molestation to speak up

Telling her story of sexual abuse while at age 5, a 35- year old Teens Coach, Mrs. Precious Ifeanyichukwu, shared with The Hope how she was molested by a man known as their uncle.

She narrated: ” My own experience has taught me the importance of being vigilant especially on the side of parents.

“I was sexually molested and abused at the age of 5 and 7. “The evil was perpetrated by a family friend—someone everyone trusted, and who seemed like a caring adult. He was smart enough to use his grooming skills during which he won my parents’ trust. They didn’t just trust him, they also handed my siblings and I to him as our caretaker especially during holidays”.

Due to the busy schedule of some parents, they enrolled their children for boarding school where they have peace of mind that the children won’t be exposed to social vices and molestation that are going on in the streets.

Save for parents and guardians who are into the teaching profession, some parents are professionals in other fields, and serious-minded entrepreneurs who don’t observe school terms holidays.

The task of looking after their children during holiday periods now become worrisome and they would resort to engaging neighbours, family members or friends to help out by dumping their kids with them till their arrival from workplaces. This is the period many girls suffer sexual abuse from close relatives and guardians.

The level of trust some parents have in these people overshadowed their sense of reasoning to suspect any foul play being meted out to the children, especially the minors, as seen in the case of Mrs Ifeanyichukwu above.

At these malleable years of growth, children are exposed to molestation and harassment by trusted adults.

This dastardly act has been on for ages, untold. Both male and female children fall prey to perpetrators of abuse. There are adult females who sexually molest male child, same way it happens to the female child by adult male. The difference is that, due to the openness of the vagina, it’s very easy to detect when a girl has been molested, compared to a male child who might not suffer any physical injury and pain.

Meanwhile, due to the level of advocacy on Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights for adolescents, being championed by Civil Society Organisations, many victims are now coming out to share their experiences, both males and females to serve as  warning to parents.

Mrs. Ifeanyichukwu who is now a Lagos-based active teens coach, analysed how perpetrators of this dastardly act utilize grooming tactic, which is a deliberate and often subtle process used by perpetrators to gain a child or teen’s trust, ultimately with the intent to exploit them.

“This tactic involves carefully manipulating the child’s emotions, isolating them from protective adults, and creating a dependency that can leave them feeling obligated, confused or even guilty. This was exactly what my abuser did and what his type does to their targets, “she explained.

She enjoined care-givers to know and be aware of who their child is with, to teach children about personal boundaries, trust guts feeling, limit the time that children spend with strangers; to regularly check in with their children where they are, teach children to reveal bad secrets, to be aware of changes in their behaviour, and build a relationship of trust and openness with their children.

“It was during one of those regular holidays that I stumbled on my first porn on my uncle’s phone. A friend once shared with me that it was during one of the holidays when they travelled down to their village that one of her male cousins took them to a corner and showed them his penis. Strange as it may sound, these things happen under our nose more than we can imagine”, she added.

How seemingly harmless relatives hoodwink innocent children into sexual activities

Also contributing, Mrs. Mercy Roland, the CEO of MercySpeaks Initiatives for Development and Empowerment, emphasised why parents must prioritise the safety of their children from harm, especially from those who prey on their innocence.

“Understanding who pedophiles are, the damage they cause, and how we can proactively shield our children is critical, particularly during vacation period when routines are more relaxed, and children might be in different environments,” she said.

According to her, pedophiles use a process known as “grooming” to build a sense of trust and closeness.

“This can involve giving gifts, spending unusual amounts of time with the child, or creating situations where they’re alone with them. Pedophiles may appear friendly and safe, but their intentions are harmful, making it crucial for parents to recognise and understand this behaviour,” she explained.

Mecry Roland submitted that child abuse leaves lasting trauma, severely impacting a child’s emotional well-being, self-worth, and ability to trust, with effects often carried into adulthood and influencing personal development and mental health.

To safeguard children from sexual abuse, she also highlighted five things caregivers and parents should do, which include:

To Teach Personal Boundaries: By helping children understand privacy regarding their bodies and empower them to say “no” if uncomfortable.

To Encourage Open Communication: Foster a trusting environment so children feel safe discussing concerns or unusual experiences.

Recognize Grooming Signs: Be aware of red flags, like excessive attention or frequent gifts from adults, to prevent potential abuse.

To Set Digital Boundaries: Monitor children’s online activity and discourage sharing personal information with strangers.

Define a Circle of Trust: Limit unsupervised time to trusted adults, ensuring children know who they can safely spend time with alone.

How to discover and forestall ploys of pardophiles on minors

Also speaking, the Chief Executive Officer of Community Development and Adherence Support Initiative , Mrs. Irene Odigie Abidoye, gave some tips on pedophiles.

She advised against entrusting minors to family members, friends, or colleagues without proper monitoring, noting that even grandfathers and uncles are not excluded from perpetrating this act against children.

According to her, parents and guardians should not allow girls to sit on the laps of male adults, regardless of the level of relationship,  adding that some predators are innocent looking individuals, but suffering mental disorder that causes them to be sexually aroused around children.

Abidoye further hinted that children’s bodies should be well-studied by their parents and guardians, to know where they could easily feel  aroused if touched, and educate them not to allow anyone tickle them, in what she referred to as a game play.

“You as a parent need to really have your time to study your child. Study what makes them feel tickled and what makes them feel irritated. Those are all parts you will tell them to be aware of. Tell them in a manner at which they will understand. Not by shouting or quarrelling, ” she advised.

As child molestation, especially girls  is  on the increase, coupled with the busy schedules of parents to make ends meet, caregivers need to be extra careful and vigilant to avoid exposing the children to sexual dangers, including infections.

With the level of moral decadence in the society, no individual can be trusted with kids, not even the spiritual fathers,  as there are many cases of clerics who had defiled teenagers and minors whose parents’ gullibility made them to put them in the custody of the so-called clerics, under the guise of seeking deliverance.