Should disappointment lead to divorce?
By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
Dissolution of marriage is an unhappy event surrounded by disappointment, loss of dreams and expectations.
Marriage starts with sweetness, high hopes and expectations but unfortunately, people feel disappointed when they face things that they have not planned or wished.
One of the most unpleasant emotions in life is disappointment. It gives way to doubt. Disappointment is the realization of the truth which has not been in existent between partners. It aggravates with continuous reoccurrence which gets to a level where it becomes unbearable.
From a legal perspective, divorce is a process of disengaging partners from the legal marriage contract and making sure that those things the spouses are responsible for (including children and property) are properly accounted and cared for.
Some believed that divorce serves an important function in legally and emotionally freeing people to form another relationship.
Most people do not consider important things when entering into marriage. Many people have been disappointed and divorced.
Disappointment have the power to empty or empower us. When our anticipation of what we expect turned to disappointment, the pain can be unbearable. Disappointment is a profound relationship killer.
Disappointment and divorce are very common event nowadays, many people have been touched by it, either by going through it as a spouse or a child. You can feel like the loneliest person in the world when you are contemplating about disappointment and divorce. It is not uncommon that couples disappoint each other, either through fighting ,cheating, arguments among others until they fall apart.
In addition, disappointment in marriage can leads to divorce, depending on some vital factors, such as maturity level of the couple, different expectations, tolerance level and so on.
To this end, The Hope reporter went round the town to interview some people and they shared their views on the topic.
According to a lawyer, Barrister (Mrs) Yemi Adebayo, infidelity is the major reason disappointment in marriage leads to divorce.
“Extra marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce, anger and resentment are common underlying reasons for cheating, along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy.
“In addition, physical or emotional abuse is a sad incidence for the victims. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges, thereby ending up in the courtrooms.
“Unrealistic expectations can put a lot of constrains on the other person, which make them felt let down”,she stressed.
In his comment, a lawyer, Barrister Dayo Balogun said “Every couple must have their own way of living together as one body who enjoy joyful and respectful relationship. Divorce is one of the worst thing anybody can experience emotionally. Constant arguments is one of the reason disappointment leads to divorce, many find it hard to agree with the other person’s point of view which leads to a lot of arguments without resolution. Money is another issue, this ranges from different spending habits, inability to meet up with the financial needs of ones spouse and making more money than the other, causing a power struggle. All these can strain a marriage to the breaking point”.
Also speaking is a Civil Servant, Mrs Bose Oloyede who explained that one of the main reason disappointment in marriage leads to divorce is the issue of trust. “Love implies trust, which means where there is no trust, there cannot be a real love. Once trust is lost in a relationship, the relationship is gradually loading for doom. Trust issue may include, Jealous, lack of emotional support and lack of financial compatibility”.
A Proprietress, Mrs Fola Akinola posited that “If marriage is based on false impression, there will surely be a divorce at the end. In a situation whereby spouse are not truthful to one another, when hopes and wishes begin to crumble, these leads to divorce”.
According to a teacher, Mrs Disa Babatope ,disappointment leads to divorce ,when we cannot forgive and forget, saying that we are human being therefore, our flesh are bound to lead us into temptation.
“For instance, there was a woman who saw her husband in their bedroom having intercourse with another woman. She quickly closed the bedroom door and went her own way. In the evening when the husband wanted to talk about what happened earlier, the wife did not allow him to talk about it, because she has forgiven him and decided to forget about what happened. Infidelity is not advisable ,but because the woman wanted peace. From that day, the husband stopped the ugly character. He was so afraid and probably felt guilty. Lack of patience can lead to divorce”, she stated
Oloyede is an intern with The Hope.
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