By Maria Famakinwa
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African and Nigerian culture in particular do not encourage a lady to woo a man as it is considered a taboo for any lady to make the first move. This unspoken tradition has been since the days of our forefathers and has passed down from one generation to the another.
However, recently, this age-long tradition is being tempted by the influx of foreign cultures into our country as some ladies see nothing wrong in proposing to the men they love.
The Hope spoke with some ladies on their take on the issue.
A self-employed graduate, Ms Amaka Slyvenous said that she cannot woo a man because it is not right.
“I do not think that I will find myself in a condition where I have to woo a man because that is not our culture. To me, it is a senseless thing for an African women to do. If the two of them eventually marry, such love cannot last and the woman will regret her step later.
“Trust Nigerian men, they would use it to taunt the woman even at the slightest provocation. It is unafrican for ladies to propose to men. Such a lady will lose her dignity and respect.”
Sharing similar views, a civil servant, Mrs Adenike Omololu explained that any lady who woos a man for marriage has laid the wrong foundation for that union as she argued that it is against the will of God for marriage.
When told that some ladies took the first step of wooing their men in order not to miss their desired partners she said,” If truly the man in question is ordained for u he will surely come to seek your hand in marriage.
This is one of the mistakes we make trying to be smarter than God, who says that he who finds a woman finds a good thing and obtaineth favour from God and not the other way round. That is why I will not support the idea of ladies proposing to men. Part of what make marriages honourable starts when men make the first move to woo women.”
Mrs Omololu, who also condemned men kneeling down to propose to women blamed, the act of a woman wooing a man on civilisation, and maintained that it is wrong and shows an act of desperation.
Speaking differently, a youth corps member, Miss Tolani Obafemi opined that there is nothing wrong for a lady to propose to a man, if the man in question has what she wants.
Some ladies after taking that step, are happily married while those who are shy to take the bold step have missed the love of their lives.
“It is not an abomination to woo a man you admire. Gone are the days when ladies cannot propose to men. If men can woo ladies, why can’t ladies do the same to the men they love since they both have feelings. The world has become civilised. Besides, I believe in going for what I want rather than dying in silence and allow another lady to snatch the man who belongs to me.
“One of my friends who got married two years ago was the one who proposed to her husband after she noticed that the man loved her but was too shy to open up. Today, her husband is grateful to God that she took the first step to woo him otherwise, they would have both married the wrong person.”
When told that the culture does not given room for ladies to woo men, she said that cultural rules and traditions can be bent.
“If you observe that a man you love also loves you but is too shy to make the necessary move, it is better to bend the rules and propose to him instead of losing him to another lady, which may bring regret.”
On how she would feel if the man rebuff her advances, she said that she will not feel bad but satisfied and praise herself for being bold.
