By Maria Famakinwa

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Marital challenges can destroy marriage if not handled with wisdom and understanding. Marriage is probably the most important among all institutions but faces threat these days, due to advance in technology and modernisation which have subjected today’s marriages to diverse problems leaving couples with no choice but to struggle to sustain their unions.
Some couples in a bid to find solutions to their marital problems take to the social media to discuss such problems. This is currently becoming the new normal as the social media are daily awash with different marital problems from couples who sees the media as the best way to express their marital challenges.
The Hope spoke with some couples on whether it is right to discuss marital challenges on the social media or not. Some couples frowned at the idea, noting that marital problems are not for social media commentaries, and that such a step would further deform the home. Others claimed that there is nothing wrong discussing marital issues on the social media, because it would help other couples to learn.
In the submission of a businessman, Mr Busayo Olorunfemi, he condemned the act warned couples against bringing their marital challenges to the open, that what is posted or shared on the social media may have negative influence on the relationship and people’s perceptions towards the couples.
His words, “I will not support couples airing their issues on the social media Though some may argue that it is good to listen to other people’s opinions, the truth is that knowledgeable people don’t even give advice on the social media. I will rather recommend a marriage counselor if the couple feel that they need a third party’s intervention,” he said.
Sharing a similar view, a teacher, Mrs Basirat Akinmoju, hinted that it was wrong to bring marital issues on the social media with a view to finding solutions as she disclosed that most people giving advice on the social media are also facing one marital problem or the other.
Her words: “It is very wrong to share one’s marital issue online with a view of finding solution. You should understand that no marriage is perfect. Most people giving advice on the social media are also facing marital challenges but do not discuss them online. It is a sign of immaturity which can break the home if one is not careful. As far as I am concerned, marital issues are meant to be personal, confidential and handled with wisdom through God’s grace. However, if all efforts to resolve it amicably between couple fail, they can seek the help of trusted clerics or the aged with wealth of experience.”
In the contribution of a civil servant, Mr Olorunyomi Olajide, he said that discussing marital challenges on the social media would worsen the problem. He added that insecurity, immaturity, low self-esteem and dependence on others’ opinions were reasons couples take to the social media to discuss their marital problems.
He said, it is disgusting to me listening to such discussions on the social media. Couples should be corrected on this because the social media lack rules. How can my wife discuss our marital problems on the social media and expect me to accept her again? Sincerely speaking, that ends the union. It is better we invite any of our parents or trusted family members to intervene than exposing me to the world, because anything you discuss or share on the social media travels faster than aeroplane and cannot be retrieved,” he warned.
Speaking differently, a beautician, Mrs Bola Adeniyi, opined that there was nothing wrong sharing one’s marital issues on the social media for solutions. She said. I believe that one of the reasons for social media is to learn. Aside the fact that you get immediate response, there is no issue that cannot be discussed online because someone who has passed through similar experience can share it and proffer lasting solutions.
“If people condemn bringing marital issues on the social media for solutions, who will I confide in? Is it family members? They are the worst. Even the Bible says that your family members are your enemies that you should beware. I will rather discuss my marital issues on the social media for solutions than to disclose it to any of my relatives or friends who will mock me later,” she said.
A computer operator, Mr Lewis Opeyemi, also BELIEVES that there was nothing bad discussing one’s marital challenges on the social media and claimed that it helped some couples to gain more experiences on solving marital issues.
His words: “Discussing marital problems on the social media will guide other couples against making similar mistakes because people will come up with different ideas. I have heard the story of a man who ran to his pastor for his marital problems and the union eventually broke. Some clergymen today are married to women who ran to them for marital solutions. Social media still remain the best channel for me to solve my marital issues,”he said.
A Marriage Counselor, Mr Adetope Adeseye, who advised couples against discussing their marital issues on the social media said, “Our love life should be kept private from outside interference. It is a union ordained by God who is capable of solving any marital issue. Instead of discussing marital problems on the social media, why can’t the couple concerned seek advice from God-fearing pastors or marriage counselors?
“Sharing marital issues on the social media is like washing one’s dirty linen outside. It will also aid divorce, because after disgracing themselves online the couple may find it difficult to live together again. Social media were not created to solve marital issues. So, couples should desist from sharing marital problems through such channels, to have peaceful homes,” she advised.