We can marry old men, they are better husbands – Ladies
We can marry old men, they are better husbands – Ladies
…We can’t – Others
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By Maria Famakinwa
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Marriage to many is believed to be the coming together of a young man and a lady who have agreed to live together forever as husband and wife and jointly nurture the union to succeed till death do them part.
However, recent happenings across the nation showed that there is a twist to this general belief as some ladies now prefer to marry men who are as old as their fathers if not older. Though, there is no actual age stipulated for marriage, but many are of the view that marrying a man within ones age bracket add fun to the union and makes marriage successful as they can easily understand ways to spice up the marriage according to the dictate of time.
Findings revealed that ladies who believe that getting married to older men is the best option argued that they are more financially capable, mature, caring and more understanding.
In the submission of a banker, Nike Olaniyole, said that she prefers to marry a man as old as her father if he is financially alright as she described money as the only language that love understands.
“I like to be sincere on issues like this. One of the reasons for marriage, in my own opinion is to enjoy myself. I do not care if I am number two or three, all that matter is my comfortability. It will be foolish of me to stick to a guy within my age bracket who is still struggling to find his feet or living in a room apartment.
An old man in most cases has a good apartment to himself or better still, his own house. He has a stable career and consequently has financial security. What else do I want in a man?” She said.
When told that it is better to marry for love, she said that it is not possible to show love when there is no money.” I have seen many broken church marriages because the man could not provide for the family. We should stop pretending, love cannot thrive in lack,” she added.
A self employed graduate, Anuoluwapo, opined that a man of his father’s age or even older will be preferable because marriage with such men brings security due to his maturity.
“Getting married to a man of my father’s age will secure my marriage because such man cannot think of divorce. He will show better understanding and pampers you. He is well mannered, courteous and retains the most cherished standard missing in young men. Men in this category are not sex crazy like younger men and cannot turn their wives to punching bags which is the common practice with young men of this generation.”
A graduate who is now a fashion designer and wants to be addressed as Adetomi, said that she is ready to marry a man of her father’s age provided he is ready to care for her and her family. ”I hate poverty and anything that stands for it. My parents struggled to train me up to the university but when I waited for years without securing a job, I decided to learn fashion designing so that I can have a good future. If a man of my father’s age is now ready to marry me, satisfy my needs and makes me comfortable, why will I not marry him? I am urgently in need of such a man. Age difference cannot be a barrier.”
When told that a man of her father’s age may not be able to show her love the way she expected due to health challenges and that most of them do not live long, she disagreed and said,” Some young men also face health challenges and many even die. Health challenge is not peculiar to old men. Another reason why I prefer old men is that they are very committed and sincere to their wives.
There is nothing that makes a marriage worth while for a woman than having a partner who can meet all her needs. Older men are more experienced and understand ways of handling marital issues which is lacking in many young men.’’
Speaking differently, a Youth Corps member, who simply gave her name as Chika said that it is unthinkable getting married to a man of her father’s age. ”I cannot imagine getting married to someone I will not be able to relate with. My dad is old and cannot even carry me. I want to marry someone who can carry me and understand new trend in love making. For instance, I love going to swimming pool to swim and catch fun but my dad cannot swim.’’
On why some ladies are doing it. She said those who are getting married to men of their fathers’ age may have their reasons, but she does not believe that they are happy doing such. ”There are limits to what they can enjoy. Though, the man may be rich but there are some aspects of love money cannot answer. Before you know what is happening, the man will die and they become widows at what age? God forbids.’’
Sharing similar sentiment, a newly married lady, Mrs Seun Adewumi, condemned the idea of ladies marrying men of their fathers’ age and described the act as deceitful. She said, ”find out, you will observe that for a lady to marry a man as old as her father, means that the man is rich. This to me is deceitful because you cannot see a lady getting married to a wretched man of his father’s age.
”If I should take such a man home, my parents will believe that I have been hypnotized. I can’t come to term with it because my dad has been in and out of hospital which indicates that visiting hospital often should be expected if I agree to marry a man of my father’s age.
How will I relate with him? Will I be calling him father? I want a romantic man that we can jump, dance and do many things together. I like curdling around my man but with a man of my father’s age who is often down with one sickness or the other such cannot be possible and no lady will claim to enjoy such marriage. If my husband offends me, I tell him what he has done wrong, can I do same to a man of my father’s age who wants to be treated and accorded same respect I give to my father?
On why some ladies prefer older men, she said; ”Ladies who marry their fathers’ age mate have plan B, which is the believe that the man will soon die and they will share out of his property if not all his property. That is why you cannot see such lady professing love for poor men. They only pretend to be happy in such marriage because of their ulterior motives. Most ladies who married men of their fathers’ age were never sincere because they were never proud of the union. I think economic situation pushed them into it and not true love as they claimed. The society itself frowns at such development.”