With Josephine Oguntoyinbo

When couples exchange vows, they envision a lifetime of love and shared dreams. But real-life marriages are not fairy tales, they require intention, resilience and above all, efforts.

Amid rising divorce rates and emotional disconnections, the belief that some marriages are “too far gone,” has become common.

Yet relationship experts and real-life stories continue to prove one thing: no marriage is beyond repair, provided both parties are willing to work at it.

Every strong marriage stands on the foundation of two powerful forces: love and respect. These are not just sentiments, they are daily practices. Speaking kindly, listening attentively and treating each other with dignity, even during disagreements go a long way in preserving intimacy.

Raising voices might win arguments, but it loses hearts. Patience is crucial, especially when one partner is growing or healing at a different pace. True love allows room for individuality while nurturing togetherness.

Commenting on the issue, a marriage counsellor, Mrs Roseline Ajifowowe said no marriage is beyond repair, but it takes two willing hearts.

She said: “Couples often seek advice, explaining that they have tried everything. But when we review it, we realise they have mostly tried talking, not listening or they’ve been fixing symptoms rather than root causes.

“Every marriage has seasons some bright, others bleak. But no marriage is too far gone when both spouses are humble, honest and hungry for change.

“Partners should start with empathy. Trade blame for curiosity and ask, ‘What am I not seeing?’ instead of ‘Why are you like this?’ And stop keeping score,this is not a competition.

“But I always add this, marriage is not a licence to suffer. Don’t confuse endurance with enabling. Abuse, serial infidelity, or emotional neglect are violations of the marriage covenant. In such cases, separation may be the first step towards healing. But for most couples, restoration is possible when they rediscover how to love, respect, and show up for each other again.”

Conflict is inevitable, but how it is handled makes all the difference. Apologies should come quickly and sincerely, not grudgingly or defensively. Likewise, forgiveness should be offered freely, even when it is difficult.

Grudges create emotional distance. Silent treatment and emotional withdrawal may feel like protection but are, in fact, tools of disconnection. Peace thrives in homes where grace is part of the daily routine.

One of the most common complaints in long-term relationships is the fading of romance. But love does not die, it dims when it’s no longer fed.

Intentional acts of affection can change that. Simple gestures, holding hands, laughing together, flirting like teenagers, or planning a date night can rekindle emotional intimacy. Physical affection, including a healthy and generous sex life, helps maintain that emotional bond.

Surprises do not have to be grand; a note, a favourite snack, or an unexpected compliment can reignite joy.

Often, the threats to marriage are not dramatic, they are subtle. Unchecked phone use, third-party interference, or unmanaged in-law conflicts can chip away at the marital bond.

Couples must protect their relationship like a fortress. Set clear boundaries. Avoid turning to others for emotional comfort. Resolve disputes in private, not in group chats or on social media.

When conflicts do arise, use calm voices and soft hearts. Harsh words and reactive tempers only deepen wounds. Marriage demands attention, affection and alignment.

Working on a marriage does not mean accepting abuse or tolerating infidelity. Love should never come at the cost of safety, self-worth, or emotional well-being.

Forgiveness is powerful, but it must be accompanied by truth, accountability, and a commitment to change. Red lines like physical violence or repeated betrayal must be clearly defined and upheld. A marriage cannot heal without honesty and fidelity.

There is no perfect marriage, only committed partners. When both people are willing to communicate, compromise and care deeply for each other’s growth, healing becomes possible.

Marriage is hard work, but it is also holy work. And when two hearts choose to keep trying, the results are nothing short of beautiful.

Therefore, speak with kindness. Forgive quickly. Be generous with affection. Choose peace. And remember: no marriage is beyond repair, only hearts that have stopped trying.