By Aditi Raman Shridhar
Learning the art of choosing problems and improving your life
Choose extra-ordinary problems to become extra-ordinary.”
SpaceX founder Elon Musk is a risk-taker, innovator and dares to dream the big dreams. Further he has the ability to actually make them happen. In an interview published in Inc Magazine a year ago, Musk, who sold his first computer game at the age of 12, and founded Tesla Motors, Paypal and SpaceX, talked extensively about his successes and mistakes in life. Musk said that the primary reason for his success in life was his ability to choose big problems and determine their solutions.
In 2001,Musk said he knew nothing about rockets or space exploration but he was deeply passionate about them and wanted to make humanity a multi-planetary species and was willing to spend a very large portion of his fortune on it. Eventually, he partnered with John Garvey (co-founder of Vector) and they together launched SpaceX.The company designs, manufactures and launches advanced rockets and spacecraft and is revolutionizing space technology.
Certainly, most of us need not choose problems of this order but we can raise the bar a little higher. Problems come in all sizes and shapes and they knock on your door unannounced. Most of them are self-created and the others are results of circumstances. Regardless of what they are, if it isn’t related to your health, lack of food and money and someone physically injuring you, chances are it isn’t a huge problem. Yet if it is still taking hold of your mind and emotions, create a bigger problem (that will drive you to be better at life) and overshadow this one.
Social entrepreneur and author, Nat Greene says it is necessary that we always pin point what exactly is stressing us out. Is it health, a certain habit, someone close, work, or something else? This is because a problem well-stated is a problem half-solved.
Greene says the biggest hurdle in people’s lives while dealing with problems is that they refuse to accept that there is a problem to begin with. “We are all conditioned to believe that life will be problem-free if we live a certain way. We feel if we obey someone, if we follow a laid out path, if we keep changing ourselves, the problems will cease to exist. But this is not possible. There will be problems till the drama of life continues. It will cease only the day we die.”
“Instead of desiring a problem-free life, we have to start focusing on becoming solution-oriented and choose better problems,” she adds.
CHOOSE BETTER PROBLEMS
In the last one week, a friend of mine was caught up in many stupid affairs in life – her weight, her looks, her receding hairline and the after effects of some spat with one of her close family members. Her rant had been going on for days, torturing my ears for sure, but two days ago things changed. Her grandfather dropped dead. He was well over 95 and in good shape, happy and jovial and extremely content with life. But nature had to take over sometime. His lungs gave away and he dropped with a thud on his bed. He is said to have been walking up to his bed after having his breakfast, a couple of minutes ago he departed to heaven. My friend’s focus shifted and she was able to get over herself for a while.
She is still grieving for her grandfather but her appetite is undergoing correction, she is beginning to take better care of her health and appearance without whining about it and she has become more appreciative of life. Her new problem is filling up the emotional gap her grandfather has left behind which will only make her stronger in the days to come.
The one full-proof way of choosing better problems and becoming a better person is to cut down a lot of nonsense from your life.
In the book Steve Jobs, the Apple Inc Founder has been quoted saying that he used to ask himself every day that if it was the last day in his life, would he still be doing everything he was doing. He said when his answers used to be NO for many days in a row, he would identify it as a problem and then change things around. We all know how Jobs’ vision of a “computer for the rest of us” sparked the PC revolution and made Apple an icon of American business.
If you knew today was your last day here, would you still be doing the small talk with that person you don’t like too much or be afraid to say and do what you really want to? I am certain you would pause and ask yourself what you are really doing in life and I can guarantee you will be a completely new person by the end of the day.
We are mortals after all who will be gone someday. If we could only measure how many years of our lives we have left, assuming we live long, we would realize that a lot of things we are doing in life are rather meaningless. I stopped making fun of a few dear friends of mine because it was disrespectful to them and meaningless. Some of my clients who came for therapy deleted plenty of goals that weren’t theirs and they re-wrote new ones. These are no longer our problems anymore.My sister was dealing with a very domineering boss that she couldn’t handle. She changed her approach towards the boss. When it still didn’t work, she quit.
The idea is to make our lives drama-free and one of minimum nonsense. Wishing you a better-problem and solution-oriented week. Until next time.
Aditi Raman Shridhar is an Indian Journalist, therapist and health instructor.
12 typical problems you must solve now and move on
- You didn’t achieve your goal: Just because you set a goal doesn’t mean you will achieve it. Many goals take many attempts to achieve. People who talk about success and personal development also don’t achieve all of their goals. You have to find out your strengths and weaknesses and try out different approaches. You also need to see if the goal aligns with your values and if it what you truly desire in life. Chances are that if you are equipped with the necessary talent and are open to positive results, you will end up achieving the goal or perhaps something even better. The best feeling is also in the experience of working towards the goal. Let the experience be of more value than just the goal.
- Someone criticized you: If you want to have a life that you want in which many people are involved, there are going to be some criticisms. The bigger your aspirations whether in relationships or at work, the bigger will be your critics. It is futile to please everyone in life because it is impossible. As long as you are not physically injuring someone and causing unnecessary confrontations, doing things that please you are fine. Criticisms may not always be unhealthy. Sometimes they have great power in reshaping you.
- Your career got messed up: Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a happy-go-lucky office worker, your career is going to get messed up at some point. It could be due to redundancy, bankruptcy of your company, your career skills might get outdated and new talented people could start threatening your position. You might get fired for making one mistake. It is impossible to predict how exactly your career will go but if you are loving your job and are certain of your own abilities and see challenges as opportunities, you will always be able to have a good career always.
- Financial mess: That crazy little thing called money will let you down at some point. Money allows you to be you in totality, without compromises and realizing that like love, relationships and career, you need to create plenty of money for yourself to have a smooth sail. Whether or not earning money is easy or difficult depends on the circumstances of an individual. But getting out of the negative pattern of I don’t need money will be a real life saver for many. Also, the amount of money required for a comfortable life is different for different people. Determining your own amount and earning that should definitely be a goal. Earning money by doing things we love to do is an ideal fit. If you have it you are lucky, if you don’t try. It is not impossible.
- You are unhealthy: Health is the only problem that could be greater than any other. This is because you cannot do anything without good health. We will experience health challenges at some point in our life and rectifying our lifestyle choices and maintaining good health is vital. Take ownership for your health. Love and respect your body. You alone have to live in it. There is no excuse for a bad health.
- A relationship ended – The relationship could be with a lover or a friend, a business partner, a family member or anyone you had a close bond with. Cutting off ties though may not always be a bad thing. Many a times it heals you more than you ever imagined. For those who have been in toxic relationships, it is a blessing to have those ties cut off. For those who have lost loved ones to death will also emerge stronger. Understanding what loveis vital. Rarely do we love others the way we think. Love is essentially the sweetness of emotions within ourselves that we experience in the presence of someone.
- You made a fool of yourself in front of others: Let it go. Change for the better and enjoy life. Bring back the focus on yourself and experience calm, silence and love.
- Others are annoying you – frankly, it is not a problem. If you can avoid them, please do. If you cannot, overshadow the annoyance with your love and acceptance of them.
- When you feel that life has no meaning – This is a spiritual crisis because it will only happen when you don’t know who you are. Reflect, go deep within and meditate The solution is within you.
- You fear something: Smash the fear into tiny little pieces. Don’t avoid it. Don’t let it stand in your way any longer. The fear is really just in our mind.
the Gentiles and that their kings may be brought. ”
- You will have sweatless victory.
- Riches ofthe Gentiles will be yours.
- You shall be blessed and become a blessing.
- You will enjoy rapid promotion.
- in the land, you will enjoy divine backing, divine cooperation and divine support.
- The land will yield to your command.
- You will enjoy your authority over the land and dominion.
- You will be announced-divine announcement.
- Forces of darkness that are fighting against you will be disgraced.
You will move from nobody to somebody.
- You will move from tenantto super Landlord.
- You will command God’s attention.
- You will become a source of wonder.
- All closed doors of blessing shall be opened unto you.
- You will be a divine reference point.
- You will laugh when others are sad.
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■ ~7 I UUi OiUI v Ol iCtil UC lull.
- Emptiers and devourers shall disappear.
- Your economy shall be boosted.
- You will be a lender and not a borrower.
- Things will become easy for you.
- It opens doors that men say are impossible to open.
- Yourhorn will be exalted with uplifted grace. Ps.89:17
“For you are the glory of their strength and by your favour, our horn is exalted and will talk with uplifted faces.” (Amplified)