When couples grow apart
With Sunmola Olowookere
|
In this edition, a husband tells of his wife’s growing away from him. Has she found arms of another man
It all began simply enough. I would call her and she would not pick my calls on time. That was just the beginning of the trouble, more was to come. I began to feel alarmed when I would come home on month end in order to spend quality time with my family. Things would be going on fine between us as she and our daughter would be very happy with all the assorted gifts. It was only when I expressed my desire for her that trouble would rear its ugly head. This is because many times, my wife would reject me when I would make sexual overtures to her.
I could not understand her newly found reservation. Could a woman I married over ten years ago no longer understand or trust me? I reasoned that it was probably due to my long absence and I tried to come home more often than before. I had the hope that if I paid more attention to her, I would be able to rekindle the flame of desire between us.
I loved my wife and I could not bear to have grow apart from me. I wished she would get pregnant again. But tried as I could to get her pregnant, it was all in vain. Sometimes, our lovemaking would be like a wrestling bout with our bed the wrestling ring. To get her to allow me touch her body was a struggle and I was getting fed up with her attitude. At times, it would be like a rape. How could a man rape his wife? I’m sure many would wonder, but that was what it seemed like.
At some rare opportunities when she would let me have my way with her, she would be so disinterested that I would wonder if I should not just let her be. She would lie beside me afterwards with her eyes closed and turned away from me. And I never understood why she could not bear the sight of me until I discovered the secret that rocked my world and plunged me into a bleak despair.
However, I persevered because I wanted her to have another baby. Our child was grown up. She was ten years old and in the secondary school. I felt that a new baby will make us bond again, hence I wished for it with all my heart. But it seems my wife’s body was no longer receptive to my seed.
I urged her to go to see a specialist doctor who will put us through on ways through which we could have a baby, but she was adamant as she said that there was nothing wrong with her body and she would at me slyly and asked “maybe it is you who needs the attention of a specialist doctor. As for me, I am 100 per cent okay. I hope you are not careless with those women that are always after you in your station?”
At such times, I would laugh at her. Women! They could be so insecure. How would I make her understand that she owns my heart? She never really understood the depth of my love of her, which was why she believed that I had a string of girlfriends where I was stationed. Since I married her, I was no longer the same.
Other women became tasteless to me. At few occasions when I had affair with other women, I always hated myself afterwards. Yet despite my sincere feelings for her, the only woman I cared about seemed to have no place for me in her heart. However I was still very determined to win back her heart and trust. How wrong I was! I felt that a new baby will make us bond again, hence I wished for it with all my heart. But it seems my wife’s body was no longer receptive to my seed.
