Sunmola Olowookere

As trivial as the above question may sounds, this is the Palaver bedeviling a household in our neighbourhood. Who will hold the esteemed position of the “first wife’ between the baby mama that had an issue for the husband and the woman he legally married.

The man had a girlfriend who had an issue for him before he got married to his current wife. Truth be told, he loved the girlfriend then and even offered to marry her when she got pregnant with his baby but her mother for some reasons was against the union. She told him pointblank that he could not marry her daughter.

She tried to abort the pregnancy in her daughter’s womb but the young woman was adamant that she would give birth to the baby.

After she had the baby, her mother made her give it up to its father’s family after weaning the baby. She was heartbroken but the mother threatened to put a curse on her if she went against her wishes.

That was how the two lovebirds were forced apart and each went their separate ways. Although they kept in touch as she still goes to the man’s family house to check on the child.

They eventually got married to different people. As fate would have it, the lady’s husband died after five years of marriage. The ex lover was privy to all these information.

Trouble reared it’s ugly head when he began to get untoward notion about his baby mama.

He was married yet he wanted to keep his baby mama alongside. He wanted to eat his cake and have it. He made advances towards her and she gave in. She did not have any issue for her late husband hence his family had cut ties with her.

She began to see her baby father secretly. At this time, her mother could not voice any opposing view again. She was still weakened by the trauma her daughter went through in her marriage.

They were seeing each other clandestinely until an opportunity presented itself. The wife had to go take care of her mother who was sick in their village for about three months.

Before she came back, the baby mama was visiting the man freely along with her son who was now living with her.

When the wife came back from the village, her eldest child that she left at home told her that “one woman with her son” had been coming to their house and would often times sleep over in daddy’s bedroom.

She was livid and she confronted her husband about it. He saw it as opportunity to come clean and confessed to her about their relationship. The woman was shocked about the revelation that her husband had a child outside wedlock and even getting chummy with the baby mama.

He however claimed that he was only seeing her because of his child who was with her. He brought the baby mama and introduced her to the wife and she assured her that she was not trying to move in with them but she just wanted her son to bond with the father.

However when the husband’s family became involved in the matter. They began to push the baby mama to assert herself as the most senior wife especially during the family functions. They seemed to prefer the baby mama over the wife with claims that the wife had been aloof with them.

Now she is no longer the repentant interloper as she moves to assert herself. The fight now is; who is the first wife between the baby mama and the legally married wife.