By Odion Victor.O.
Marriage is gradually being considered as an “out dated” tradition that has no place in the modern world by many youths. They wonder why older people feel like marriage is the ultimate goal to achieve? Matrimony is an institution, very few people can be good at. Surprisingly, almost half of all marriages end up in a divorce.
The definition of marriage is “the legally recognized union of two individuals”. However, to others it means so much more than that. Marriage is not for the weak, it is not for those who are selfish and people who do not want to work at it. Marriage requires being there and being selfless for each other. For those who feel that it is much more than just a legal representation. They feel that two individuals coming together to produce another life is more than a piece of paper with inked signatures.
Marriage functions more than just a union of two people and may have a much broader significance than the relationship between husband and wife. Marriage brings families together and expands families by having children. It also provides information of the growth of families from one generation to the next.
The high rate of divorce, in marriages, is an especially important contemporary issue. You may struggle in finding the right person to marry, feeling competent as a future spouse, or feeling confident that the relationship will work. This is partly due to the magnitude of the decision, the increasingly high expectations happening in marriage, which states the fact that if you do not choose carefully, the marriage could end in divorce.
In contrast, extremely high costs of housing and constricted finances of today’s economy are some reasons that lead a couple to cohabitation. While cohabiting, partners are less likely to pull their income. Inheritance of wealth that spouses have obtained over time is easier when spouses are lawfully married. In other hand, it becomes a do-or-die affair collectively. but due to lack of legal evidence can be a burden for raising children without the wealth they accumulate collectively if one dies.
Lack of commitment, love, intimacy, contentment, respect, infidelity, communication, is a thorn In marriage after sworn-in-vows. Is it about how decent one is and meeting their needs? Then why do complains of cheating, assault, maltreatment, endless brutality becomes a gold medal in married homes?.
When it comes to the main reasons for marriage failures, some related issues are because couples fail to anticipate differences that come from diverse cultural backgrounds, different family experiences, and so on, couples fall into the concept of a “fifty-fifty” relationship, Married couples fail to cope with life’s trials or hard times. When painful trials come into the marriage, instead of standing together through them, the couples tend to blame each other or, in other words, think something is wrong with the spouse and the way they handle the pain. This, in turn, leads to their separation.
If marriage is said to symbolise the love of two people till death do them part, why do marriage difficulty ends up tearing couples apart?
Ogedengbe Godwin mentioned, “Well, I believe infidelity Is the major cause of divorce, so also Violence, lack of trust, sexual scandal, are common problems nowadays in a married home and lack of understanding Is what makes an unhappy marriage and the aspect of divorcing a spouse with children and choosing to live independent of yourself, leading to single Parenthood, it affects the children psychologically, I see this as one big mistake in getting a divorce”.
Godswill Akharia said; “Marriage is not as easy as people think. Marriage is sweet but if there is no money it is going to be hard.
“Lack of finance will surely lead to domestic violence because the woman will surely exhibit certain attitudes which could cause conflict between the couples. How long can a woman endure without money? Lack of commitment and understanding also play a part. And from observation, most women are sometimes the cause of some problems.
“While for other common problems, I think most young couples are not really properly oriented about marriage, they just rushed into it all because they attach their minds to just love for one another. It will be better if a man has at least two or three sources of income before getting into marriage. Even many of those who have money sometimes face marriage issues too. “