By Josephine Oguntoyinbo
Marriage is a dynamic institution. Permit my translation of the popular saying that marriage is a venture negotiated in the dark. Most times, one gets into marriage before he or she understood what is in for them.
Unfortunately, there is nothing like trial marriage. Once you are married, that is it. In the traditional African society especially, a woman can only announce her marriage once.
She is expected to remain in that union till death do her and her husband part, and she remains bound to that union.
If for whatever reason a woman attempt a second marriage, she will never be bold to announce such as a thing of pride in this part of the world.
Marriage is also dynamic because it does not have general rules, guidelines or principles. You cannot say that you will have a smooth marriage because your female sibling has that opportunity for instance.
If you try to adopt your sister or friend’s style to run your own, you might be in serious trouble because it does not follow the same pattern. Each one in every union must joyfully bear their crosses.
Therefore, you cannot claim that you will take enough time to study your fiance before walking down the aisle with him. That could just be a mere waste of time.
Both men and women can pretend to be in the high heavens, when in courtship, they will only reveal to you that part of them they think you are comfortable with. It is after the dotted line is signed that most partners begin to unravel their true manners to their spouse.
Notwithstanding, there are certain things an intending wife or husband must try to find out about their partners.
Marriage is a life-long thing and requires the ability to endure things which might not be so healthy in the beginning. However, marriage is expected to stand the test of time. Breaking up your relationship might be a hell of a task but if there are obvious irreconcilable differences, the earlier the parties take a firm stand, the better.
Of course, it is not every issue that can be adequately trashed before marriage but the important ones must as a matter of necessity be sorted out. One of this is when one of the prospective couple is a single parent. People used to be afraid to declare their status in this regard early, but it should not be.
The woman need to find out if the man is not just deceiving her. Human beings could be highly deceitful hence the need to investigate .Sometimes a man can go to any length including telling a lie that he is through with the other lady so as to get his new catch.
Also, marriage is s process, the earlier couples understand this, the better, in the school of marriage, both the man and his wife are exposed to new issues and challenges each day, the ability of both parties to learn daily and face all challenges head on goes a long way in sustaining the home. Above all, a woman must be emotionally and psychologically prepared.