By Maria Famakinwa
One of the issues that is considered important in marriage is sexual satisfaction. Many people especially men are always after the elusive quality and many seem not to have reached their El-dorado as regards the quest.
A lot of married people have been found guilty of infidelity in their quest for sexual satisfaction.
Relationship experts warn that marriage can hardly succeed when this important aspect is lacking because sexual intimacy is one of the activities that boost closeness in marriage and lack of it or its inadequacy between couples can be detrimental to the union’s success.
This all-important activity is so vital that marriage counsellors and psychologists often advise couples not to joke with it, for the sake of keeping their homes together. Couples are duty bound to work towards satisfying each other sexually. When this is understood and embraced, sexual friction in marriage will be an exception rather than the rule.
As compulsory as sexual intimacy is touted to be between couples, findings have shown that some spouses are not living up to expectations.
In most cases of sexual incompatibility, spouses with low sex drive come up with different excuses to dodge their conjugal duties when their spouses demand for sex.
When they deny them of their marital right, this in most cases causes marital disharmony. Respondents came up with different opinions when The Hope spoke with some couples on if there could be sexual satisfaction between couples.
An accountant, Mr Ayo Eniafe, opined that one can be sexually satisfied if it is done regularly and the attention given when needed.
He said: “It is natural that when you do anything constantly, it will get to a stage that you will be fed up. It is just like eating the same food for breakfast, lunch and supper and continue for three days. Definitely, one will be tired. At times, I give myself a break from sex because I am already satisfied. So, there is sexual satisfaction if done regularly.”
A seamstress, Funmi Adejobi, hinted that it is only couples that do not understand the game of sex that would complain of lack of satisfaction. The woman who urged spouses to up their sex games added that there is nothing as satisfactory as sex if the right style is used.
Her words: “ There is nothing as satisfactory as sexual intimacy between couples if the right styles are used. The couples involved will continue to bask in the euphoria of satisfaction which will remain till they meet for another explosive action. I do tell couples who are closer to me to see sex as a compulsory marital course they must strive to score distinction to uphold their homes.
“That is the only thing that bond couples and they must let it’s impression sink into each other’s memory. I mean that you must give your spouse the way he/she want it to prevent anyone from contesting your space in his/her mind. It is wrong to say you are tired when your spouse call you to perform your conjugal duty that you signed for. How come you claimed to be tired when you are not asked to carry a rock? Wives are most culpable in this regard. It is rather advisable to have sex when you are tired for sound sleep. There is sexual satisfaction if one gets it when needed,” she said.
In a different reaction, an artisan, Mr Omololu Adedayo, said that he does not believe that there is sexual satisfaction in marriage because he has not been satisfied for once even after three children which he blamed his wife for.
On why his wife was the cause of his lack of sexual satisfaction, he said: “My woman has this primitive idea that sex is mainly for procreation despite being a graduate. It took efforts of a marriage counselor to convince her to be more accommodating.
” Yet, she is still frigid and makes my sex life boring. She is adamant and refuses to change to different sex styles except the missionary one. Couples who want to mutually enjoy sex must do more than just the traditional missionary style common with our fore-fathers. Knowledge of different styles in bed enhances mutual satisfaction. She does not understand how to key into one’s spouse sexually and fail to reciprocate my romantic efforts. All these deny me the real sexual satisfaction that I desire. She promised to change but I’m yet to feel it,” he lamented.
A trader, Mr Alloy Johnson, who also blamed his wife for not satisfying him sexually said that he believed that there is sexual satisfaction but his wife has not been satisfying him.
“My wife’s method of sex is one day on, six days off as she will always come up with one reason or the other why she was not ready for me. I think women should be told that the silent meaning of a marriage certificate is freedom for sexual pleasure and satisfaction. I don’t marry a wife for marrying sake. She must be ready to do what is done in marriage.
“My wife once asked me why did I always disturb her for sex, I replied her that if I should wait for her to make the move, that means I would wait till “thy kingdom come’. I have high libido and I don’t hide this from her. Thank God, my threat to bring in another woman has compelled her to adjust. I told her that the vacuum she created in me sexually must be filled to my satisfaction otherwise, those who are ready to do it would be invited.” He expressed.
A salary earner, Mrs Alayo Tiamiyu, hinted that there cannot be sexual satisfaction because there is nothing that can satisfy human being. The woman who observed that sexual pleasure is just for minutes said: “Sex itself has an insatiable appetite, the more you feed it, the hungrier it gets. Couples must be contended with what their partners can offer them because the present economic situation also kills sexual drive. Sex might be the last thing on one’s mind when there is no money.
“Sometimes ago, I made a sexual move on my husband but he didn’t yield. When I persisted, he asked me to let him be for now because he was not aroused. My further findings revealed that he was pressured because he had no money in his bank account to pay for the children’s tuition fees. When either of the couple is not in the right frame of mind, sex might not be appealing,” she said.