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Thursday, December 8, 2022

Why unity is key to successful marriage

By Josephine Oguntoyinbo

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Unity is vital to a happy and healthy marriage. It is the glue that makes you and your spouse become one and a team.

Once married, things are not about “his way,” or “her way,” anymore.The purpose of marriage is to become better together than you could be on your own.

Unity is one of the most rewarding aspects of marriage. The knowledge that we are both rowing the boat of our relationship in the same direction towards a common goal is priceless however, this type of unity does not come cheap.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.

If we are instructed to ‘make every effort to keep ourselves united’, it means unity cannot be taken for granted in a home. It takes work. What kind of work? Working to protect your peace as a couple.

Every day there will be things threatening to undermine our unity and the peace of our homes. Whether they are mindsets, attitudes, habits, influences or interferences, we must therefore identify them and overcome them.

On one hand, it is fatal in a marriage to pursue the appearance of peace at the expense of authenticity and honesty. Do not pretend to be who you are not and likewise do not pretend to be in agreement just to keep the peace. A truly peaceful home is where both parties can risk being honest and being themselves without fear of rejection.

On the other hand, peace requires that you are both humble enough to recognise your own flaws and gentle enough to accept the flaws in your spouse. It requires that you make allowance for each other’s flaws because of the value we place on the love we share. This is where real peace begins in a home.

We are to ‘Bind ourselves together with peace’. Peace is an adhesive bond that binds a couple together. When you experience peace in each other’s presence you are more likely to pursue each other’s objectives and goals. Without peace there can be no intimacy or unity.

Respect and value the way your spouse sees and does things. Look for opportunities to learn from your spouse. Respect his desires, and value his need for orders.

By so doing, you will definitely experience peace in your home in new ways and that peace will bring you into a new reality of intimacy and unity.

To achieve true unity, you have to stop trying to change each other. You cannot expect your spouse to be just like you. Instead, focus on his or her individual gifts, talents and attributes and all that they contribute to the marriage.

​This is especially helpful when it comes to conflict resolution. When you respect and value each other as equals, then it is much easier to recognize that conflict really is about the two of you against the problem or challenge, and not the two of you against each other. ​

Marriage is about unity. Marriage is about teamwork. It is about learning to see together, dream together, and achieve together. And ultimately, it is really all about your hearts becoming one.

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