By Damilola Akinmolayan
Most men tend to cheat on women often, but what happens when women cheat? It is important to point out upfront that a partner does not cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy or a means to get a revenge after being cheated, the cheat alone is responsible for cheating.
We are looking into female infidelity as our subject of discussion, because there is a wide misconception that it is only men who step out on their partners and women are always faithful.
A cross section of people who spoke with The Hope explained why women cheat.
Mr Oluwaseun Sesan, a resident of Akure said, “Having a history of childhood trauma, such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or neglect is associated with a higher chance that she will cheat, if she has not addressed the trauma and have unresolved issues children who are exposed to a parent having an affair are twice as likely to have an affair themselves.
To some women”If one partner has had an affair or has damaged the partner in some way, the offended partner may feel a need for revenge resulting in an extra marital affair.
Mr Olasunkanmi Samuel, a resident of Akure, said “Dissatisfaction with the marriage, either emotionally or sexually is common. Marriage is work, and without mutual nurturing couples may grow apart.
A sexless marriage is often claimed as a reason for both men and women cheating on their spouses. Feeling undervalued or neglected can lead to infidelity. When both partners work, women often carry the brunt of the housework and childcare. In this case, the affair validates the person’s sense of worth. On the flip side, however, feeling neglected may be related to unrealistic expectations of a partner rather than true neglect.
Mrs Yemi Lijoka, a pharmacist, “Certainly, sex addiction in a woman increases the chance that she will be unsatisfied with the physical aspect of their marriage and look elsewhere.
Also, “Some mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder are a risk factor for cheating in marriage.
“Women looking for the thrill of the chase and the excitement of newfound love may be more likely to cheat. Rather than trying to find a substitute for their partner, some claim their fling is a way to spice up their marriage. Falling out of love is frequently cited as a reason for cheating This may involve a lack of understanding of how love matures in marriage.
Mr Temitope Osabiyi, a networker, entrepreneurer and a teacher said, “Typically, females step out on a committed partner because they crave for intimacy or affection. Females by nature are emotional beings. Men are attracted by sight but women are attracted by touch or feeling. Women tend to feel valued and connected more to significant others through non-sexual, emotional interplay (talking and having fun together), building home together than sexual activity. When they are not feeling that type from their primary partner, they tend to seek it elsewhere.
Also, “Women experience loneliness when their spouses are not emotionally available, always on business trip 24/7, or work for long hours. Whatever the cause maybe, they feel lonely and they seek connection through cheating to fill the void. Some women have unreasonable expectation towards their spouses and their relationship should provide. They expect their partners to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year and when it is not happening, they tend to seek solace elsewhere.”
There is societal misconception that only men enjoy sex. But women love sex too and if they are not getting it at home, or it’s not enjoyable to them, for whatsoever reason, they may seek it elsewhere.
Lastly, Some women lack fear of God. When a woman does not love God, it is easy for such a woman to cheat. The most important missing factor is fear of God. When a woman lacks it, cheating is inevitable.
Mrs Tosin Aluko, a trader, said “Women partner may be incapable of fulfilling their partner’s needs, but far too often, those needs have not been expressed. Marital partners are not mind-readers.
Another factor is the lack of addressing problems directly. Running away from problems or conflict avoidance rather than staying and addressing them, is another crucial element in communication and commitment in marriage. Having an affair, especially an emotional affair, is much easier now than in the past, and social media sites have been implicated in many affairs and divorces. Internet infidelity or “online cheating” is still cheating, even if the two people never met face to face.
Mr Adewale Omotosho, a public servant, said “period of absence, whether traveling for work or serving in the military, provide greater opportunity for affairs to occur.
Absence allows a spouse to have an affair with little risk of being discovered or may lead to loneliness and resentment. While a long-distance marriage is not ideal, there are ways to keep your marriage strong when apart.