By Josephine Oguntoyinbo

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Every decade is bringing new changes and the one who is able to survive it is the one who can adapt to those changes.

There are lots of divorce cases in recent time due to misunderstanding and misinterpretation. Parents, especially mothers should be able to accept the fact that it is their turn to take a backseat and enjoy the view. Some mothers believe that telling their children how to run their homes would make the couple more responsible.

A man should understand that one woman has played a vital role in your life as a mother in the past and another lady is going to play a very important role in the future as a wife, for instance, when your kids are born, your  focus shifts to them. You automatically give them more attention than your parents and it was the same for our parents when we were born, they gave us more attention than their parents.

A man should be closer to his wife and not his mother. Considering the institution of marriage, a wife is more important not because of anything else but for the reason that she is going to be the man’s soulmate and the person who would share everything with you. As a man, your mother’s soulmate is your father, not you.

Therefore, men should give more importance to their wives, thereby creating a society  that is full of happy, energetic and blooming women. A man’s duty is to build understanding and trust with his wife and not his mother.

To this end, the feminine line went round the town to hear people’s view on this issue that has destroyed many relationships.

According to a marriage Counsellor, Mr. Bolarinwa Olaoye, “Many of us love our mothers dearly. She has always been there for us and we know she always will. We love her so much and she deserves every bit of it, when she needs us, we will try to do what we can to accommodate her. Yet, when we finally determine we are ready to make a woman our wife, things needs to change. So, every married man must leave his parent and cleave to his wife. That doesn’t mean we are going to abandon our parents, but we have to equally build our own homes.”

To a business woman, Mrs. Mulikat Abayomi “Nobody want to be abandoned, or neglected when it comes to the issue of marriage. Most women who get married are not just interested in being the number one lover in a man’s life but they expect to be the number one on their man’s priority list. A man should be mindful of the negative impact it can cause his marriage by constantly placing his wife as second to any woman, including his mother. I have seen cases where at first, the wife viewed this behavior as normal but eventually it started to weigh her down and left her feelings undervalued, frustrated and disrespected.

She added that a man’s wife is his life partner therefore, men should note  this and  treat her as a jewel she is.

Also, an entrepreneur, Mr. Michael Daramola posited that “A man’s wife is his present and  future. As a married man, your obligation to your mother can not be forgotten but your obligation to your wife is also important. If a man’s mother is matured, she will definitely tell her son to love his wife and will also love her son’s wife as well.

According to a Teacher Mrs. Eunice Olaniyan, “When a man takes his marriage vows, he would be asked if he will have the woman as his  lawful wedded partner to live together in matrimony, and the man vowed to love her, honour her, comfort her; forsaking all others. unless the mother want you to do something contrary. Every mother knows this and should respect the fact that her son is now married .Not to mention that if she is in the wife’s shoes, she would not want her mother-in-law  to run things in her matrimonial home. Even the bible says that, a man who findeth a wife, (not a man who findeth his mother) findeth a good thing.”

According to a retired Civil Servant, Mrs. Juliana Adesida, “A wife is more important to a married man than his mother because she has sacrificed so much to fit into your family; adapted to your culture, foods, and left her comfort zone for  the sake of being with you.

However, If the man feels that his mother has done this too and has put in her best to nurture him and therefore does not care for his wife, he should also realise that his wife is equally nurturing his kids and one day those children will also leave them and build their homes. What is more important is to take care of our parents, not for them to dictate how we run our homes even though, we can go to them for advice when necessary.”