By Adedotun Ajayi
Nigerian Twitter influencer, Abike, brought the sentiments of many Nigerian young ladies to light when she declared that having a sugar daddy is better than following small boys, that give “chicken change.”
According to her, the sugar daddies give good money and don’t stress people, while the “small small boys” give little or nothing and are stressful.
In the complex landscape of modern relationships, where love, companionship, and financial dynamics often intersect, the phenomenon of “Sugar Daddy” dating has taken a center stage.
It’s a topic that elicits curiosity, intrigue, and sometimes controversy. Beyond the headlines and stereotypes, there lies a deeper question: What do women truly derive from dating Sugar Daddies?
In this exploration, we venture beyond the surface to understand the motivations, aspirations, and experiences of women who choose unconventional relationships. Beyond the material gifts and luxurious lifestyles often associated with Sugar Daddy arrangements, we uncover the emotional nuances, empowerment, and unique perspectives that shape this intriguing facet of contemporary dating.
Let us explore into the complexities of Sugar Daddy dating, where matters of the heart and wallet intersect, revealing a tapestry of motivations that may surprise, challenge, and enlighten.
A while ago, a Nollywood actress, Peju Johnson stated the reason why so many single ladies are after Sugar daddies, in her words “Let me say, sugar daddies have helped a lot of ladies to live a better life, changing their lives for better and at the same time, spoiling many of them. They change the orientation of many girls about life; helping them to fund their lifestyles and this, has made it difficult for many of them to want to settle for normal guys/ men. They have made many young girls look down on their boyfriends because he’s unable to do what the sugar daddy does. Nowadays, young girls can do anything for money, to belong or impress their mates.
They are so desperate and just want to live the kind of lifestyles they see on Instagram.”
Debby Ovia, a stylist and businesswoman, delved into the age-old profession of prostitution and its persistence throughout history. She mused, “Why is prostitution an age-old profession? I always find myself wondering why, but at the end of the day, people are doing what they have to do to survive, I guess. In as much as people have to survive, I am not condoning such activities.”
Debby also explored the modern trend of young ladies seeking sugar daddies, attributing it primarily to greed and the pressure exerted by their “wealthier” peers.
She observed that in universities, many young girls aspire to possess extravagant items like 500 000 naira bone-straight hair, Brazilian hair, and the latest iPhone 15 Pro Max. She contrasted this with her own undergraduate days when she used a basic Nokia phone because it was all her parents could afford.
She reminisced about “Aristo girls” who associated with older men even during her time. She recalled that it was until her 5th year, second semester that she could save up for a BlackBerry. Debby’s message was clear: “Cut your coat according to your size.” She highlighted the natural discontentment often seen in young women.
Debby acknowledged that these young ladies gain financial stability from their relationships with sugar daddies, acknowledging the influence of greed and poverty on their decisions. Sugar daddies, she noted, typically have fewer financial responsibilities and can afford to share their wealth with their younger companions.
According to Reno Omokri, human rights activist and Lawyer who came out to advise ladies who go out with sugar daddies. he said “A Museum is a place to keep old things. You are not a museum. Don’t be a place where older men keep their last. Sugar daddies are diabolical. They make your life spiritually diabetic. Have just two dads; God and your biological dad” he concluded
Damilola Olatunji, an accountant, shared her perspective on the “sugar daddy” phenomenon, raising thought-provoking questions. She mused, “Thinking about this whole sugar daddy saga, I keep wondering how a young lady will have a sugar daddy who is not ready to take her as a wife and is not willing to let her go.”
She pointed out the dilemma faced by some women who find themselves in relationships where suitors come and go, while they indulge in the material comforts provided by their sugar daddies.
In her candid reflection, Damilola highlighted the conflict between pursuing marriage and embracing the allure of wealth and luxury promised by sugar daddies. She cautioned, “I just hope you know what you are doing because it’s possible you are going the wrong direction. One day, you shall wake up to know that you missed the most beautiful thing in life.”
She continued to shed light on the paradox of sugar daddy relationships, where these men, who advise against marriage, often have their own families and responsibilities. While young women wait in hotel rooms, the sugar daddies tend to their business, emphasizing the stark contrast between their lives.
Damilola recounted a heartbreaking incident involving a Unilag student who killed her sugar daddy because he didn’t meet her financial expectations, illustrating the complexities of these relationships.
Damilola acknowledged that appearances play a significant role in attracting these men but also emphasized the financial instability that drives some young women into such relationships due to the harsh economic conditions in the country. She suggested that the responsibility for these relationships should be shared, not only blaming the men but also calling attention to the choices and actions of the women involved.
According to Rachel Essein, a makeup artist, there are significant benefits that young ladies derive when dating “sugar daddies,” with financial stability being a major driving force.
Rachel explained, “These young girls believe dating someone older can provide them with the financial stability they seek. They prefer not to associate with young men of their age who are still in the process of building their financial independence. Some of them won’t consider dating someone who still relies on their parents for support.” This inclination sometimes leads them to engage with married men. These individuals are predominantly found in universities and other tertiary institutions, seeking a more comfortable financial situation.
Another motivation, Rachel pointed out, is the desire for freedom. Some girls appreciate the fact that an older partner is usually occupied with work and is less likely to be insecure about their activities.
Rachel provided an example of a university student dating a sugar daddy who lives far away. This geographical distance offers her the freedom to interact with other young men without facing interrogation from her older partner. However, Rachel acknowledged that this scenario doesn’t always apply universally, as men, in general, can be prone to jealousy.