By Maria Famakinwa
It is normal for ladies of marriageable age to picture in their minds the type of man they want to spend their lives with. The qualification for this to some ladies are based on how good looking the man is, and his status materially, educationally, family history, characters among others.
There are other categories of ladies who are not really bothered about the point listed above if the husband to be possess the characters of their fathers. The Hope spoke with some ladies if they can marry men like their fathers.
A graduate, Miss Tomi Akinmola said that having a man like her father as her husband would be a joyous thing to her because her father is a God fearing man who care for his children. “I want a man like my father for a husband. If it happens, then, it will be a dream come true. My father is a loving and God fearing man who always correct us in love. We are just two females in my family and our prayers have ever been to be blessed with such a kind man like our daddy.”
Sharing similar sentiment, a computer operator, Miss Lara Afolayan who described her father as the best man any lady would crave for, added that having a man like her father as a husband will be the best gift of her life. “If you were raised by a caring father who looked after you, took care of you and treated you well, definitely, you would want such a man as your husband.
“I have heard many cases where some of my friends condemned their fathers’ attitudes and prayed never to settle down with their types. They were never happy going home whenever we had any break, blaming their fathers’ attitudes for their actions. It was then I realised that the type of man your father is goes a long way to determine a lady’s choice of man later in life. I pray that God will give me a man like my caring father who exceeds his limit to make sure that his family lack nothing good.”
On the contrary, a youth corps member who simply gave her name as Ngozi said she can not marry a man like her father and that none of her sister will also make what she described as a terrible mistake of having her type of father as husband. “My father is stingy, tough and womanise. Though, wealthy, but does not have time for his children. He beats up my mother at any slightest provocation and turn the home into battle field. My mother is always praying for us never to make a wrong choice of man she had made. My father is everything a good man should not be. He drinks alcohol and lose control, this in particular gives my mother sleepness night which affects her health.
“We do not enjoy him neither do his parents. There is no cordial relationship between us and our father, thus denying us of fatherly love that is vital in bringing up future leaders. My father is a lion at home but lamb outside. No right thinking lady will want to have such a man as her husband. We are always happy whenever he is not around. Thank God for my mother, a strong woman and a blessing to her children. Despite all the challenges, she remains undetered even in her service to God. This I might not be able to stand if I have such a man as my husband.”
A beautician, who gave her name as Ms Bamidele also maintained that she cannot marry a man whose character is like that of her daddy because her father is too quiet and never believe in discipline of his children. “Even when my mother wanted to scold us for doing something wrong, my father would not allow her. This, to me is lacking as a man. It is a different thing for you to give your children good education and meet other needs of the home and another thing to instil discipline in your children so that your efforts in making them somebody in life will be achieved. This, I am not seeing in my father.
“I need a man who will take his position as the head of the family. I want a man who can stamp his authority as a man in the home. I want a husband who will give my children what they need and not what they want especially now that the society is perverted with different social vices. Any man who fails in his responsibility of giving his children the right upbringing and discipline will live to regret it in the future, no matter the financial status of such a person.
“These are the qualities I look forward to see in my future husband. A man can be rich and famous yet, be sad because of the life his children are living. My mother is not always happy anytime she remembers the wayward life my brothers are living which was no fault of hers but the failure of my daddy to instil discipline at the right time. Only for him to be regretting his action now when the damage had been done already. So I can never marry a man who is not firm like my father, “she added.